ANSWERS: 43
  • i would say both
  • Depends on how ready you are to take on the full time responsiblity. It's not easy by any means, but it IS the best thing in the world, no comparison.
  • It changes your life and it is sometimes difficult, but it is natural and it is healthy and it is a wonderful transition to the next level of responsibility and fulfillment.
  • Having a child in no way ruined my life. Altered it completely, absolutely. However, I was 30 years old when I had my first child. Had I been too young and immature to handle all of the changes and the stress, then I could see how I may have felt that having a child ruined my life.
  • It certainly does.
  • I think all the children I've had in my life were gifts. They CHANGED my life...often for the better. I tended to eat very healthy, because I only cooked or bought healthy foods...very little "junk." I had them on schedules for bed time, so I tended to also keep healthier sleep schedules...lol They loved to run around in active play, so I ran around more in active play! Cooking (which I normally do a lot of anyway..no prepared crud, I've always cooked from raw, foods) was more fun, because the kids wanted to help most of the time, so even if it took a bit longer, it was FUN! Even a 3 year old can rip up lettuce for a salad, and a 2 yr old can dump in the herbs or rip lettuce too for that matter! And they are so cute when they mention that THEY helped make this, that or the other and how do you LIKE IT? If I wanted down time then we listened to relaxing music and I read while they read or colored...we all relaxed together and then re-energized we could then get up and go run AMUCK with the dogs! They can be exhausting at times mentally, physically, emotionally..but that is countered with such profound feelings of love, pride, joy, laughter, and tears (all kinds of those) that I don't think I could honestly say any one of them RUINED my life...I can't saddle a child with fulfilling my life either...I think that's sort of up to me to do by my choices...but they ENRICHED so many moments of my life...maybe it's the same thing!
  • It is the most wonderful experience. It has its highs and lows. But I love my children.
  • I think I helped fulfill the life of my parents and my children fulfilled my life so far. Many people do not have children because they cannot afford it or do not feel prepared or want to do other things before. If you cannot afford it or you are not prepared and get them anyway, it could be a great experience, and you could grow with it, but it could also ruin your life and theirs. Of course, if you have the same resources, it will not be so easy financially if you must pay for children. But living with children can be great. I am glad to have them at home.
  • Neither. It can be a fulfilling aspect of your life but a life doesn't need children to be fulfilling. And children usually don't ruin your life, they can add to it as nothing else can.
  • Exactly the same as if you have no children. Sometimes you feel your life has been ruined, other times just the opposite. In reality, it's not the children/lack of that has anything to do with it. How you live you life is entirely up to you, and only you.
  • having children is the best thing that can happen to anyone.
  • Best thing that ever happened to me, honestly. I wouldn't change it for the world - VERY fulfilling.
  • I think in the beginning, you are fulfilled, but 10years later, you think you are ruined, but later on, when they get married and so on, you feel fulfillment....
  • My children enriched my life , more than they'll ever know - Fulfilled
  • Having my children fulfilled my life... Life changes after one has children but it's in your hands to make the right choices for your family... I have four children - twins who are 15, another girl who is 14 and a 7 year old son. I had the twins when I was 20 and my other one when I was 22. I was very young with three small children. I didn't let my children stop me from continuing my education, working and giving them a decent and good life; at the same time I was setting a good example for them... Nowdays, I am a professional, my three girls are all starting high school come September with excellent grades and my son is going on to third grade.... Not to mention - my girls and I look like sisters... :o) It's not easy you just have try to make the right choices...
  • They definitely fulfill my life, It would ruin my life not having them.
  • Fulfill...if that is really the right word. I cannot think of a better one right now. Those who think children ruin lives need to please have themselves sterilized promptly. Save any potential children the heartache, and yourself the frustration.
  • it wasn't all easy, but i can die happy.
  • My children are the best things that ever happened to me. They are the reason I live. I think NOT having them would ruin my life.
  • Fulfilled mine. Best thing I have ever done. I can't imagine them not being here.
  • it really depends on the circumstances of the person
  • Fulfill... ages 16 and 9...doing what they like to do opens my world... i.e. ever imagine yourself driving, organizing others parents and photo/video your child playing hard core punk on stage at CBGB's in NY? Ever see yourself recruiting, organizing and managing a Little League baseball team to a city championship? Or acting alongside your son who danced in the Nutcracker to 450 patrons, 2 shows per day over a weekend? fun, fun, fun :)
  • for me - i dont have any eyt but i certainly think creating life and raising someone to a contributing member of society and knowing youve made a difference in someones world has got to be the most fulfilling thing around. basically depends ont he person, if you are a selfless and giving person who is ready to give everything for your child it would be the greatest reward. however selfish people cant handle the responsibilites cause it changes their lives too much would regret it. their lives would either be ruined in giving up their needs for that of the child or buy giving that child not what they need.
  • It has certainly fulfilled mine. Everything means a lot more to me now. My stress level went soaring, but well worth it for me. I would never think that people should think that they aren't whole if they didn't want children though. I can understand why someone would not do it
  • If a person is ready to have them children fulfill them. If a person is unwilling to have them children can ruin their life but not nearly as bad as the unwilling parent ruins the childs.
  • A little of both... Ruin - Harder to go out with friends, especially those without kids Fulfill - What can I say here? Having a kid is like nothing else. Oh yeah... And there a lot of fulfillment and fun at the conception! ;-)
  • Having m.y child make my life joyful everyday.
  • My life is my own. My children neither fulfill it, nor ruin it, although they most certainly do enhance it :)
  • Hi, I feel that having my child has definitely ruined my life, and it often seems to me I'm the only one out there who feels this way. This makes me feel worse. If I could go back I would never have my child, and I wish i'd known what it would be like before I'd done it, but that's impossible obviously. Am I really the only person who feels like this? I can't be surely? No one tells you beforehand, how isolating, lonely, depressing, frustrating and boring the lifestyle of a parent can be, the only words connected to parenthood i seem to come across are rewarding, enriching, etc, which sadly i have not found to represent my experience. I think if you have any demons of yr own, you cannot ignore them when you become a parent, and maybe this is partly where my problem lies. i don't want to pass these negative things onto my son, and most of the time I get on with parenting fine. I just wish I'd known the negative side of being a mum, then I could have chosen to never go down this path. Alas, now it's too late, and there's nothing I can do about it, except try to do my best and not to allow my problems affect my son. A reluctant mum
  • Depends on how you think of life. If you don't plan on being a true mom who can afford time off of any sort of worklife and take care of her child as he/she should be cared for, then it may "ruin" your life. But women who plan on being mothers, who know how to be mothers, and who don't plan on a rocketing career for themselves(really, that's what a husband and father should be doing when he can), than having children fulfills their life.
  • For you I can not answer that because having a child is a big step and a life changing event that never goes away. But for me my two children did not ruin my life. There are days and moments that I need a break and sometimes there are things that I would like to do but I can't because of the kids. Those days are getting to be less and less as my children get older and older. But I still miss the baby stage too...sometimes. Anyways.. what I am saying is how having children changed my life, it can be different for different people. It all depends on the person and if they are ready for a child and really want one.
  • Yes...LOL....it depends on what you are expecting....to me my children are very fulfilling to my soul and life....some people feel otherwise about their children....pitiful....
  • Only a selfish person can think like children ruining life.
  • Neither. No child can ruin your life, only you can do that. No child can fulfill your life, only God can do that. But having kids can certainly enrich you life. It can teach you to live outside yourself and be more than you were. It can stretch you and challenge you. It can teach you patience and teach you to love.
  • hi, well im pregnant now, and im still with the father but its not working, im scared im 21 and im 2months pregnant, im scared itll ruin my life, i dont really get alone with my mum and nan, i no its a massive responsability, but i dont really believe in abortions. its a really hard situation
  • Having children at the right time in life...fulfills it.
  • it makes you know that you have something to fuss over about. i took care of my lil bro most of my life since we're like magnets. ^^
  • If a child can ruin your life, odds are you would look for anything to do that anyway.
  • For me, raising my sons is a difficult task but in no way have they ever ruined my life. We surely have our trials but I would never say that any of them have ever ruined any aspect of my life. I love my boys and I would not trade them for anything. :o) Maybe others would have a different outlook but I live for my kids and I enjoy raising them.
  • i think having a child gives a new meaning to life to you and is a wonderfull thing where you will be fufilled in many ways,but you will have the times you feel they have ruined your life(those self pity times.lol)
  • I have learned more from my childen than from anything else in my life. They are now kind, loving, responsible adults who are raising their children to be the same way. It's the single most important thing I have ever done in my life. : )

Copyright 2020, Wired Ivy, LLC

Answerbag | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy