What would you do if you found out your 13 yr.old son stole your credit card and has been useing it?
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still loves cheerios
ANSWERS: 12
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wow he would have NOOO social life till he was 69!
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Ask him if he has any idea why the credit card bills are high. If he does tell you, it suggests that he was under some sort of pressure to do it, and is the first step to saying sorry. If he doesn't mention that he's using it, he might be too cowardly to mention it. This means that he probably has a weak character, and usually this can happen if he is being bullied at school, or scared because of some other reason. It's complicated I guess, and you would know your son better than any of us. If it's not normal of him, try consult him, and bring out the reason, and eliminate or find a work around if possible.
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I would wonder how he had access to my pin number. Only my husband knows mine. But, if somehow he worked it out, he would be working it off for a LONG time.
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I'd make him repay every red cent, plus interest, and have a long hard talk with him about how likely it is that he's going to wind up in jail at some point - especially if he'd steal from his own mother! Then I'd have him take random drug tests.
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He would feel very deprived (except for the bare essentials) for a long time. My son had a tendency to "help himself" to my finances. Not any great amount, which he would point out, but as I would also point out, that was not the point. (Lotsa pointing going on). I explained to him that his behavior caused a lack of trust and once trust in someone is lost it is very hard to get it back (if you ever do). It took a while, but after a long time of being the #1 suspect every time something came up missing, even if it had been misplaced, he realized the seriousness of what he had done.
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Report it as stolen and let him get busted.
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talk to him about why he did that and the consequences of it.
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Depends how much he took, if it was something small that I would've bought for him anyway if he'd asked, then I would have just explained just how illegal what he did was, but not take it further. If he spent HEAPS of money? Same thing, except he'd have to show that he is honestly sorry for it, and do some work to compensate (not pay back the money, that's hard for a 13 yr old... but he'd have to do 'something') Also, I'd be very disappointed with him, obviously : P That'd leave a mark on his record w/ me for a long time probably
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He wouldn't be able to sit on his rear for a long, long time.
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If it were for any significant amount, I would use the criminal justice system. Thirteen is old enough to learn the consequences of his actions, and protecting him from them sends a bad signal. Either way, he would be working the money off, have restricted privileges, extra chores, a good talking-to, etc. We might even pawn some of his things (electronics, etc) to help pay the bill. Certainly, he would not be keeping anything he stole (purchased with the stolen card).
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First, this is a good illustration of poor discipline shared by many parents today (not in this house). If the teen was properly diciplined as a child then this would not occur. "This is the preventive measure". Now in the meantime, report the card stolen, let your teen suffer the consequnces of commiting the crime. THIS IS A CRIME! This could lead to larger problems in the future. (Car theft,armed robbery, or even murder)
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1. Talk, converse, discuss with him, let him talk about it and express himself (understanding and self-realization is the key IMO). You can go the hard-way too, but that should be avoided in such a serious case. Patience is the key. 2. If #1 does not work, if he is arrogant and there is no self realization or regret, then I would go the hard way and first discipline the boy to a level where he is ready to talk. And NO, beating the shit out of your 13 year old boy does not necessarily portray adulthood or any level of maturity/understanding. 3. The idea should be to make him realize what he has done, its consequences, pros & cons and what it does to his relationships and associated trust levels (with parents, friends, family etc) in an amicable way. 4. The next step would be finding a solution or way out that first does some damage control, preventing further damages and doing a repair work. I would ask him to find out a way to pay back the CC usage. It could be working part-time, reducing monthly expenses.
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