I'll just use an answer I did earlier, but mirrored. "You're better then your brother."

Well O.J., I still think you did it.

I need to go to the restroom and finish the job

"Short and sweet."

Oh,did I forget to mention that I am HIV positive?

Have you started yet?

I didn't feel anything.

Is it in yet?

You've confirmed it. I'm a lesbian.

Your Brother lasted longer.

I'm glad its over .

scoot over would ya you are blocking the tv

(girl)I heard if you jack off more often, you can last for hours. (boy) anything for you baby

What time is it?

i got to go your dads waiting for me in the other room

"Honey, what was it we were doing for the past hour?"

(insert another woman's name) was way better. Oops, thought you were (insert another woman's name). I'm on a mission to end up in the Guiness Book of World Records for having sex with the most people! Honey, I had a great time. I'm going to call my girlfriend now.

what are you doing with that peanut

well it was during sex, my gf moaned out "JORDAN! OH JORDAN, OH JACOB! (my best friend she had met earlier that day) my dick shriveled right out of her vagina lol.

What did your ex die of, boredom? Note i have NEVER said such a thing!!!!

WOW that was amazing can we do it again...sheesh I NEVER get any sleep...

Oh is that it Finally Over!!!..

Oh is that it Finally over!??!..

next time dont fall a sleep

Oh I forgot I have to call my husband.

oh? your done already??

Did it feel right, I was once a man and the operation went well.

That's it?

Is it over yet?

you're done already, oh, I didn't know you had even started (I said that before I knew it once lol)

Don't worry, it's no big thing.

Wrong hole, moron. Or Phew, I was afraid you might find out I'm a man for a second there.

Jerry are you there?

hope you like child support

was i there too

there is cute paper on the ceiling

It's ok,I do like to cuddel...I know you've had a stressful day

Well I used to do a specific thing while having sex with my wife but back then she was my girl friend. For a period of time we didn't have much sex but when it sparked up again we started but this time she said the thing I did hurt. I asked if it all of the sudden hurt as she seemed to be ok with it when we dated. She said it actually hurt then too but was to shy to say it did in fear it would kill the mood. Now I have to look back and feel like shit that she was just suffering through it. I'm big on Pain with pleasure if she wants it but I don't want to really hurt someone. To me that was the worst thing a women has ever said to me but that was way after the incident.

Hmm. That was quick, wasn't it?

I have had better.

Couldn't you have worked one out in the shower? my God you just added a new dimension to the word "quickie" ;)

WOW! That only took a minute, and I didnt feel a thing.

sorry, I was sleeping, what happened?

Size really doesn't matter.

Ok. Let's do this.

I faked it

"soooo...when are you going to put it in?" after he has already come.

don't worry - it happens to everyone.

NEXT !

Was that it ? Are you done? ohh ... my ex lasted longer than this have you ever had sex before ?

"This was definitely NOT worth cheating on my husband!"

GEE THAT WAS SHORT AND SWEET!

Well, that was oohhhhh kaaaayy ---- but most guys have bigger dicks and satisfy me much better than that! Maybe one day you will find a girl who likes poor sexual technique and incredibly small penises - see ya later!

"I'm glad that's over. I really gotta take a sh*t."

Did you start yet?

is that all?

that was pathetic, get the hell outta my bed! and grab my sex toy when you leave so I can finish

Have you started yet?

Couldn’t you afford the Viagra?

i am happy to share my std

"My ex was a whole lot better then you were."

my ex is better than you

Anytime your ready

are you gonna stick it in or not?

that tickled...are we gonna do it?

Is that it? Hey thanks, I called you a cab, and there's a little something extra for you on the counter "Pop-a-Ding-Ding, $299 Please!" Woo thank god that herpes outbreak cleared up last night, I didnt want to give it to you. I hope you don't mind itching You're on the pill right? Now you DID know I used to be a male, right? I guess you weren't the worst ever. Those pills protect you from getting disease's right? Damn, i need more alcohol, i think i'm starting to recognize you. I'm Only Fourteen!!!!!!!! don't worry, i cant get pregnant, i used to be male. Now were did I leave my ring? Does this look infected to you? So you like herpes? Tomorrow you may feel a burning sensation when you piss, it's really nothing to get worked up about. Oh, move over, let me finish this...ohhh yeah! I guess I'm still technically a virgin. guy: wow that was great your pussy was alot wetter this time girl: yeah i know i picked the scabs just for you baby! You feel that burny itching too? Now that that's over I need some advice. Do you ever get real itchy near ur crotch and you can see little bugs crawling around in ur pubes? That's been happening to me since that night in Vegas. That was fun. Cya at the family reunion uncle bob. My friend taught me that trick about using gasoline for lube. *lights cigarette*

I use to be a dude.

"Thats it?" *laughs, loudly*

Did you finish?

"Honey, the celling needs painting"

is this all there is?

I did a better job when I was a man

I faked it

Sex is soooo good since I've had the operation.

OK Ya ready?

I forgot to take my birth control pills this month...

The ceiling needs repainted.....

Already?

well, that was downright awfull, right?