Is coming out a lifelong process (since unless you are extremely obviously gay, it may be hard to tell), or is someone considered "out" once they've told their families (since coming out to your family tends to be the least easiest)?
by 
grecmefait
ANSWERS: 8
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From my own perspective, no, coming out is NOT a lifelong process. The only important part of the coming out process in over in the instant that you decide within yourself that you are who you really are, and will be who you really are. Throughout your life, there will be people who either absent mindedly or deliberately misunderstand who you really are. Some will deny that you are who you are even if you make it CLEAR. So, there is a lifelong process, a battle of sorts, getting the people who matter in your life to understand you and accept you for who you REALLY are, and not the person they would like you to be. But that process, that "battle" is an ongoing thing for everyone, not just gays. I think the best way to win that ongoing battle is to try hard to accept others, who you might prefer to be different, for what they really are, they will eventually reciprocate.
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I think it's a lifelong process in that you're going to meet new people throughout your life who you will eventually come out to. However, there is usually one initial coming out in which it is the moment that you accept yourself, or come out to yourself.
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Typically, one is considered "out" once they have come out to their family and friends, but in another sense, it IS a lifelong process as each person you meet will find out in some way or another. I suppose it just depends on your perspective.
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I think it is a lifelong process. Coming out to your family doesn't mean that you are out though. I know a guy who has been out to his family for a year but he still isn't out to everyone yet.
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Excellent question...I suppose it depends on one's perspective but for me, the coming out process was complete when I told my Dad and GrandParents when I was 17. Since then I have had to tell people that I'm a lesbian, and I feel that I was born so btw. In my case I've been told it's quite obvious anyway, but I think once one has told the people closest to them that they're gay, the rest of life is nothing more than just living true to one's heart...which I think is why people say I'm obviously gay. I have never had a boyfriend nor any inclinations towards a man. Not that I dislike men, quite the opposite, many are total gentlemen and secure enough in themselves not to be threatened or feel the need to "change" me...that happens more with girls and women I've met. My point is though...my tendancies of not noticing men ends up being quite obvious so there's little need to "come out" to any one more yes.
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your out of the closet once you stop keeping it a secret from the general public. excluding dangerous situations, or in the work place
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I hate answering questions this way, but that is truly a case by case basis. For me, it will probably be somewhat of a lifelong process. For others, however, it is not.
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It really depends on the person...and, how you were raised, where you were raised...and also your age. For some of us who were coming to terms with it in our teens during a time when it was less accepted, it's been a longer, harder process. I came out to no one until I was in my 30s, and didn't come out to family until last...when I was 41.
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