ANSWERS: 4
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Go for it. If you work at a place where your "boss will turn on you", you should leave anyhow.
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Absolutely -- yes -- you should apply for the job! 20K more per year is a lot of money, and no job should stand between you and that, unless the lower paying job is really what you want to do, or, if the higher paying job raises your tax bracket so much that it's a wash (unlikely). You should try to find a way to not involve your boss with your search, which might be hard if you don't have other references... so maybe you should just be straight with your boss and explain that you could be making a lot more -- maybe you can get a raise?
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Be up front with your boss, don't go around behind his back, because you want to use him as a reference. It doesn't look good to say "No, you can't call my current employer" on an application/resume. But definitely go for the other job!! Most employers are fairly understanding when their employees find better opportunities, and if your boss is decent he/she will help you out. Another thing to consider is using this other job as a bargaining chip; if you really like your current job, see if you can get a raise/benefits increase so the boss will keep you around? Good luck with whatever you end up doing! :)
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Sounds to me like it's a risk worth taking. Just be very discrete. Think about this: if you don't intend on working for the same company for the rest of your life, you will need to look for another job eventually. If you have a good opportunity, go after it!
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