You shouldn't try to "make" her stay. This will only push her away further. Instead, give her space. If she says she is confused, she probably is. And if she is cheating, you want her to make up her mind about who she wants without feeling pressured. That way she won't blame you later.

She may not be cheating. Maybe all she needs is time to think things over. My Boy friend and I are going though the same thing. I know he loves me and I doubt that he is cheating, but he also needs his time. I think that your Girl friend may want a little time alone before she is able to actually be with you. Give her the space that she is asking for, why would you want to MAKE her stay when she wants out. You can't hold a person like that it will only be hurting both you and her. Have you ever heard the saying "If you love something let it go and If it comes back to you its because it was yours and if it doesn't its because it was never yours."

My girlfriend of 7 years turned round to tell me that she needs a break and needs space last night. Things havent been right for 2 months cos I never saw her but not cos I didnt want to. Her work commitments means she works really late and I didnt want to stress her out anymore than what she was already. I never wanted to have a break. Since she has said it, its made me determined to want her back more. I love her more than anything in the world. I dont know what to do? Ive felt sick all day at work thinking about it. Ive had panic attacks all last night. Shes my one true love and shes slipping away from me.

Why try to do that. If she wants her space back of for until she wants you back. Let nature take its course. If she is cheating and admits it ask what you were doing wrong and the next girlfriend you get dont do what made it "die" the earlier round.

hmm...I'm going through the same thing with a girl right now. She never said anything about needing space to herself, but she says she wants time because she's confused. I don't know what she wants time for, but nevertheless, I wouldn't arbitrarily say that shes cheating on me. I think your dilemma - and my dilemma - is trying to cope up with this kind of distancy. What role are you supposed to play? Can you still tell her that you love her or is that too much pressure?

I heard those words last night from my GF. At first I as angered, disappointed, and upset. I believe I've done everything right, but right just wasn't enough... or was it? There is fear with having everything you want... especially if you thought you had it before and lost it. My suggestions are... if she says she needs a break... suggest space. A break means to end... space means time to regroup, rethink, reassure what you want. (yes clearer heads prevailed this morning when I thought of this) I'm using this time to think if this is what I really want as well. The one part that is bothering me is how long do I wait. I would've liked to have put a caveat of "let's talk in a ___ days" I don't intend on calling her as I wish to respect her space, so I will email, or text her with a msg to say.. I hope all is well and that things are better for you, and that I'd like to talk with you on __ just to touch base. I'm going to try and keep it light as I don't want to pressure her if she's not done with her soul searching, however, I don't want to wait forever.. and neither should you !! Good luck all and if you want to email me svr69@yahoo.com let me know how it turns out for you. Steve

there is no nice answer really.Mainly because on a logical/intellectual levl giving the girlfriend space makes sense, but it is never enough to consolidate the feelings of confusion, hurt, betrayal & failure.I am a recovering drug addict and as such i'm feeling a full scope of emotion(as opposed to high or needing to be high) for the first time in my life.I believe that by and large I have treated the relationship with my girlfriend with the utmost honesty and respect.Yet she says she needs space and will call me when she is ready.I don't know what happened I just felt her getting more and more distant.Truthfully all the other relationships I've had ,consisted of me soliciting sex from women and trying to control them as much as possible to stroke my own ego.I have been very vigilant with regard to not make the same mistakes.I'm feeling that maybe i'm just not good enough for her.Actually I feel alot better now having gotten that off my chest.

Any chance you might have some control issues? You can't "make" anyone stay in your life. And not everyone you choose is going to choose you back. Being in a relationship with another person is by mutual desire and consent. Sometimes that changes. There is nothing you can do to keep anyone in your life who does not choose to be in it. Just like no one else can force you to be in their lives if you do not choose to be. Let her have her space, but get clarity on what this means exactly so that the two of you are on the same page. Is this a break up? Are you each free to date other people? Or are you still a couple, but just not going to spend as much time together for -- how long? Whatever she says, you will have to accept. That's the healthy way to handle situations like these. Even if you feel broken-hearted about the whole situation -- let her go. Focus on healing your heart and channeling your energies in doing productive things until you get to a atronger place emotionally.

always go on your gut feeling, it is always correct,when they say they need space and they are confused they are cheating ,dont be the fool.....there is nothing you can say or do to change her mind or make her stay...keep your head up there is more fish in the sea for you...rb

Face it. You can't and you shouldn't try. Let her go. You dont own her.

You can't make her stay.

you can't. if you want her to stay, sometimes you have to let her go.(corny?)

I always say follow your heart or you will be domed to your fate. Listen to your heart, it is beating. Your body is telling you what you need to do. Don't sit at home and wait around and let yourself burn. The only thing that will stop it is action.

I have been battling this question for two years now with a girlfriend out of our four year relationship and I am sick and tired of it, but I also needed a whole lot of time to clarify for myslef what was really beneath what was happening. Let me give you the advice that I am giving myself. Start focusing on why you are attracting this situtation to you. Are you insecure? Of course you are. I find myself going through serious fits of insecurity. Now find out what makes you happy and do those things. Do them often. Do them well. Work hard at being good at what you love to do. Once you (and me) start loving your own life, this girl, or another better than her, will fall in love with you. By the way, I wrote this for me just as much as for you.

Seems a while since this post was commented on - I hope all of you in this situation have had an answer. Sure you will be lifted to heights of over exagerated joy if she stays, comes back, rekindles the love, all fears of cheating were unfounded. Initially all is perfect with the world. You will need to understand and work on why it became so bad. If it is bad and finally over - you will be dragged down feeling terrible, rejected, unloved. Of course depending on the influence the people in question had on us these feelings will have different degrees of intensity. But you can make plans to move on - finally! It is the not knowing that creates the most confusion -you have hope, you wait and nothing happens - you run over and over situations in your head and convince yourself no news is good news - on the other hand you convince yourself - hey after 2 weeks she really can't miss me - I've been forgotten. A day feels like a week a week like a month and on it goes waiting and waiting and we torment ourselves. Yes we all need space, yes we can't control what others think, do or want and never should we try. You try to do all you can without being excesive to know - "well I did all I could" - that is good as it can relieve guilt but sometimes we feel it is never enough but it probably was. The bottom line is "how long do you wait?" Anyone with compassion for another human being and no matter what we have, what colour we are, how rich or poor we are - we are all human and have human feelings. They would be in as much confusion as you if the situation were reversed, they would want an answer as desperatly as you do. If you never get one, it is clear they do not want to come back or stay - but to top it off they lack the compassion to tell you - no loss then is it? We all deserve respect and it would be better to be alone than with anyone who lacks compassion. After two weeks of not knowing - move on - I would not date for a while you will just transfer baggage. But get on as if it is over - if by some miracle she comes back then go from there. However I feel that leaving you to stew for 2 weeks could bring up feelings of resentment. Do the best you can, have compassion for everyone, love yourself and you will be happier and attract likewise people. Best of luck to all who are currently in limbo.

If you think she's cheating on you, she probably is and you don't want her to stay. If you got this girlfriend, you surely can get another. People refuse to listen to their intuition. That's what it's there for to let you know when things are wrong. It's one of the same traits that has allowed homo sapiens to become the dominant species on the planet. (i.e.,talking to someone with your eyes, feeling someone's bad vibes etc., etc., etc.) Trust yourself.

well y would u want a girlfriend who cheats on u??? if she wants to have her own space,then let her have her own space!!!and i know u could do better than that!!

The question is why would you want her to stay if you think she is cheating. You can't do anything to make her stay. I am sorry but that is out of your hands. Maybe she just needs some time to get her priorities straight and if you are meant to be together, then you will end up back together. I think that it is honerable that you would want to stay with her even though you think she is cheating. Good Luck!!!

make the place and environment where you are be the kind of plance and evironment where she wants to be?

funny, my girlfriend told me the same thing yesterday, though I do not suspect her of cheating. Today feels like one of the longest days of my life man. I am desperatley trying to do anything to get my mind of the situation and think positively. The saying "there are other fish in the sea' has no value to a person who is in love as much as I am. I am aware that there are other women out there, and I am aware that I have had more than a few relationships, so finding someone new would nto be the problem. The problem is I don't want anybody new. I want this girl, and I want things to go back to the way they were. I hate when people just suddenly change their minds about things. I did not see this one coming. I do however, have tremendous respect for this girl, and I will wait it out. She has told me that Friday we will talk so here's to what will surely be four of the longest days of my life. You are not alone my friend. Cheers.

I had the same problem a week ago. My grilfriend was acting a little different and I couldn't figure out why? All I knew was that the last time this happened to me I pressured the girl into a decission, and the result was a disaster. The ex broke up with me and a week later was with another guy! Now I have that to live with. Now with this relationship I have learned from my past mistakes. Although it is hard not to jump to conclusion due to my last relationship I must be paticent and hope for the best. Give her the space she "thinks" she needs. You can do nothing now at this point. You've showed her who you are as a person. Put it this way... You just completed a big project for class and turned it in now you must wait for the grade. Hope that makes sence. I waited it out and let me tell you it sucks but the results were good, not great, but good. She ended up writing me a letter explaining what she was feeling and now we are working on the things that bothered her in our relationship. Now, the big question is she cheating? I don't know. Tell you the truth I/you don't wanna know. It hurts too much trust me! Don't go snooping around or stalk her and such to find out what she up to when you're not around. If you get caught doing that and she isn't cheating then you look like an insequre fool and can potentially ruin the relationship. If she is cheating you'll find out soon enough. If you love her, you gotta trust her. Easier said than done I know. During your time apart go out and do stuff you enjoy doing go do the stuff you did before you guys were together, that what got her in the first place. Be a man and show her that you life can go on with out her!

Just happened to me today, Yay, so messed up, Things fly through your head so fast and makes the day seem like a month. I don't like it when people say there is more fish in the sea when I really love and want to be with this girl. The only thing I could think of was take some time off from work and I'm going on a fishing trip to get my mind off of it for awhile. I'll give her time but how much time is the question. It's so weird that she would say she needs space and is confused but on the other hand keeps texting me all day. That makes me confused and wondering what she is thinking.

This is the third time that a good friend of mine has been cheated on by her husband. She told him it's over and he packed his things and moved out. Her and I have been friends since High School. And even though we've always been good friends, I think she knows that I'm interested in her. But she's told me she Needs her space and not to pressure her or I'll push her away. So, I said, "I'm here if or when you need me." So, question is now; what do I do now? I mean, I don't want her to think that I'm angry at her or I'm ignoring her, because I'm not. I'm just respecting her wishes. She's a great girl and I don't want to be just another guy who hurts her or disappoints her, like all the rest. It's tearing me up inside not to be able to contact her. I'm not a little kid, but this is almost as rough on me as her break-up is on her. So, question: About how long does this Drain-O feeling in my chest supposed to last? The last Text Message she sent was, "You will push me away if you overwhelm me." So what do I do now? Thanks for reading thus far. J

This is the third time that a good friend of mine has been cheated on by her husband. She told him it's over and he packed his things and moved out. Her and I have been friends since High School. And even though we've always been good friends, I think she knows that I'm interested in her. But she's told me she Needs her space and not to pressure her or I'll push her away. So, I said, "I'm here if or when you need me." So, question is now; what do I do now? I mean, I don't want her to think that I'm angry at her or I'm ignoring her, because I'm not. I'm just respecting her wishes. She's a great girl and I don't want to be just another guy who hurts her or disappoints her, like all the rest. It's tearing me up inside not to be able to contact her. I'm not a little kid, but this is almost as rough on me as her break-up is on her. So, question: About how long does this Drain-O feeling in my chest supposed to last? The last Text Message she sent was, "You will push me away if you overwhelm me." So what do I do now? Thanks for reading thus far. J

Let her go, don't chase her. In fact ignore her for a while. If she tries to talk to you, tell her you're busy and that she'll have to wait.

yeah, im going through the same problem also sometimes its just they're not in love girls are soooo soo freaking confusing. We have been apart for about 2 months now first few days sucked, but if you have friends and support and an open mind to do things still you should be fine. I still love her a lot and I don't know what to do sometimes I want to wait for her sometimes to see if she will ever come back, but i know it really really hurts. Its like a pussy made me look like a pussy. I guess it really depends on how much you love someone for it to hurt you more or less. Trying to get her back like in the movies will more than likely NOT work, i tried it and it pushed her back even more. But if you want to wait then wait, if you really want to get over her maybe find someone else a close girl(friend) and it kind of helps.

It doesnt always mean that they are cheating when they say they need space. Maybe she just feels a bit smothered and needs a little breathing room. I am having the same issue, and all you have to do is trust her, but it also depends on how long you have been together. Do you have time invested and does she, take a look, does it really matter?

My girl has recently pulled the same bs. My advice to anyone in this situation is to give her the space she is asking for. This may be tough, I know it is for me, but basically outright ignoring her is you best option. This will show her what she is missing. I feel that my girl and I have been together for so long (4years) that she has begun to take for granted how much I am there for her. My belief is that once she see's how tough life is without having me to lean on, will send her running back. I am not saying you should be mean or cruel in anyway, but when she calls you for advice or looking for someone to bitch to, you have to tell her that you can no longer do these things for her, these are things that a boyfriend does for a girlfriend because he loves her, if you keep doing these things even though your on a break she will not realize how much you do for her. GOOD LUCK to all of you, your hearts will heal and if you know your a great guy and she doesn't want you, someone better will. Keep your heads high fellas, it will all work out because it has too.

just let her go she will either come back or not. You can't make anyone do anything. You don't want to be with someone that doesn't really want to be with you

Guys guys guys....This si coming from a ladies point of view, sometimes it is true, we need space, yes it could be because we feel smothered or it could be something as simple as just needing some breathing time to sort life out. At a young age life can be very confusing for guys and girls but if you love the person then allow them the space they need. If she is right for you she will come back when she has had time to sort her own problems out. Needing space never means just "cheating" not even close, it means that the girl is going through her own drama right now and doesnt have the time to invest soley in the relationship, so instead of treating you bad or hurting you, she just asked for some time, so give her some time. You dont know what she is going through in her life so be there for her either way if you care, dont use silly tatics like ignore her etc etc...In time she will come back or she wont but if she doesnt then it wasnt meant to be and you will find love again I promise you!! Stay strong and dont blame yourself, just be kind and be nice to everyone..hugz

The answer is everone is differen ton how they take things and all women are unpredictable my girlfriend at christmas said she needed space and so i did some detective work and found stuff on her phone that i really didnt wanna find like heavy duty texts and dirty photos sent between her and another bloke the worst thing is i know him and is one of hr friends when we first got together our physical relationship was spot on but at new years eve 4 months after we had started living together she saw this friend for the first time in a long time since then the sex stopped and in the last 18 months we have slep together 4 times and everytime it has been a case of do it if you want to we have both agreed to start a fresh after i confronted her about the texts i made the decision to do this as i love her but she still wont sleep with me i try talking to her but she says is sex all i ever think about i think the answer is if you can both comunicate together the relationship will work if she says she needs time and cannot tal about it then its not worth trying u both need to be able to talk or paranoyer will kill off the whole thing

A lot of wise advice on this thread!! but one that everyone sliped which we all know is " You cannot make a woman love you forever" Thats why we have a thing called Marriage!! They CANNOT be faithfull to you if you make them feel that you will love them for ever, becasue this dosent give them the feeling or buzz of misery, we need to understand that they LOVE to feel miserableas much as they love to be loved, it actually makes them feel more alive!!Its like that mate of yours who will do nothing but complain about his life (The girly guys as I like to call them - dont be one of them). Women cannot handle pure loving and cuddling all the time so you need to make them feel miserable in order for them to want you to love them back to get them out of the misery. Classicaly known as push and pull. See All we men are born just to work our ass off for women and the progress of the World!! We are designed to handle pressure bucause we cannot break into pieces and say shitt like "HEY SWEETY I LOVE YOU BUT I THINK WE NEED SOME SPACE" so when we hear that we are like"WTF whats does that mean, I dont see any problem between us, we are happy" thats right, that is the problem you are too happy!!! we have a need to be logical not emotional(Dosent apply to your sweety and her gender). So guys here is what you need to learn to do, be mean to the girl you love, and just before she is about to snap, show her how much you love her!!! Becasue if you say you love her, then give them what they want cos this is Loving her!! Most of the women I know will be happy to be with a guy like this for the rest of their life rather than some one with a Aston Martin in his 10 Bed house who tells her every minute of the day how much he loves her. I personaly blame the entertainment industry to screw our head up about the defination of LOVE. And here is the funniest part, women dont understand this, now look at that mate of yours who is loved up by his girlfriend/wife/random hot chicks. Do you notice him do what I just mentioned??? Comming to all the guys who got told that they need to give some space to the girl, this is what you got to do: never ignore her, never show a sign of weekness, always display your understanding of her mind without making her feel that you are trying to win her back, never ever ask her abt the other guy(if there is one) and this is the big one: never ever talk to her when you are going crazy because you want to hear her sweet voice. And while doing all this, if she tries to come back then dont try to put everything is words, just kiss her of make love to her(after this push her away again for sometime), let her speak her mind out first, cos if she wants you back she will tell you(or she will act like your GF), they dont even have 1% of the patience that we guys have. If this dosent work, dont blame yourself becasue she is hard work and to be honest there are better things to do in life with your energy. Also, you guys need to give yourselves a time limit for this, after which you got to move-on. Cos honestly as you guys have probably realised that this would need overwhelming amount of patience, and patience needs 10 times more energy than action. This is the only way to keep her(or the next one, or the one after the next one etc..) with you. Love her in the right way, not the conventional way, help her to maintain her compassion for you.. Sounds tough, well thats the price you pay for having a D*CK. I wrote this more for myself than all of you, since I am in the same boat and cos I keep on forgetting this every two months...lol.. Practice the above untill it becomes your second nature with women, I am trying this and it is hard, but I am sure I will get there. All the best guys!!

You can't make her stay. You can ask questions... This statement is one of the most hurtful a person can state so I would think twice before you consider even continuing this relationship. Tell her that's fine; call me when you grow up...

Once a cheater always a cheater bro. You need to go out and live your life like a manly man! LOL im serious though, go to the sports bar get loud. Play poker and win/lose some money. Do things that you cant do in a relationship. Get some buddies around and go to a strip club. That was the best advice i recieved...go be a man and live it up. Find out who you are and what you love about your life and yourself. Goodluck bro.

1.) That's a polite way of saying she's breaking up with you. 2.) She broke up wth you, so it's not cheating. 3.) Absolutely nothing. Go find yourself a rebound relationship.