Human beings are social creatures. We process and define the world around us through our connections with other people. These people become a part of our "schema"...the window through which we process this information around us. The fonder we are of certain people, the greater the influence they have on the way we process that information. When one of these people is lost, it creates...essentially, a "hole" in our schema, putting us into a small state of confusion. A certain person's existence...(something we have come to expect as an inherent part of our lives, and a basis for interpretation of the information around us) has been abruptly removed, forcing us to "start over" in our understanding of such things as the nature of man, and our role in the grand scheme, and in the lives of other people. shaggy

Anytime a human deals with a loss, grief usually follows. Human beings, by nature, feel more comfortable when they have a set scheme or schedule. Once a schedule or environment is disrupted, panic, fear or anxiety can overcome one's experiences. For example, imagine (or recall) the loss of a parent. Parents by nature are supposed to nurture their children, and make them feel safe, welcome and important. If they die, the individual must compensate the "empty space" by seeking attention or nurture from another source. This can come in many forms. A change in behavior, chemical imbalances, depression, anger and self-pity are just a few of them. Most biologists believe that this is a major difference between humans and other animals. Humans are compassionate, while other species center on survival. This could explain why some people require a long time to cope with the loss of a loved one- when you invest so much time and energy, you expect a return. If you do not feel that you received proper compensation (emotionally) for your investment, you may seek a return elsewhere through other emotions.

Because GOD decided that Aardvarks were unworthy to sweat the fact that their cloned Motorola Razr was just stolen and still had 300 minutes on it.

People have difficulty coping with loss because of our emotional and psychological attachments to others. Many believe that they are incomplete as individuals, thus they seek to find wholeness in others (or pets). Healing begins when we find within ourselves the things we looked for from others.

from a Buddhist point of view all things are inherently impermanent, and we become attached to things with the belief that they will be permanent. This causes us to suffer. The less the attachment and the acceptance of impermanence, the less difficult the loss will be.

I had already denied the existance of God(s) and the afterlife befroe my father died about two and a half years ago and to most that would give you the impression that it was harder for me. Well in actual fact it helped. You see most people today believe in the afterlife, which means that they do not think that their lost one is actually gone. So they never get closure, they never get the chance to say to themselves "they're gone. I can't bring them back and I'm never going to see them again. Why am I sulking and moping about a senario that cannot be changed nor improved? So I won't, I'm going to move on. I wil never forget but I will never let it bring me down anymore because there's no point." After telling myself that, god knows how many times a day, I found myself back to normal in a fortnight. Not cold-hearted or emotionless but freed from pain that I've let go. Within another fortnight I'd already made a joke about him being dead but as they say: Turn a frown into a smile! Now when the subject comes up I'm not bothered nor shy away but have a quaint smile on my face from all of the jokes that passed back and forth from me and my friends. That is why people have so much difficulty, they never let go and move on because they still think that that person is still here.