by FreeSpirit on May 15th, 2007

FreeSpirit

Question

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Have you ever witnessed a parent abusing their child in public? What did you do?

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Answers. 56 helpful answers below.

  • by Nelson - Jetpacking from bed on May 15th, 2007

    Nelson - Jetpacking from bed

    Yes, and I will not let it happen. The last time I saw near abuse, I was at an airport and a woman was about to hit her child. I caught her arm mid air and told her that what ever she did to her child I would do to her. I actually got an applause from the people at waiting for thier luggage.

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  • by jt007m on May 15th, 2007

    jt007m

    I saw a dad dragging a little girl around. She was crying and he kept screaming and pulling. Her arms were bruised from his hands and her legs were all scratched up and bleeding from being dragged. I tried to tell him to take it easy on the child. He tells me that it's none of my concern, then got a security guard so I'd stay away. Poor girl was covered in bruises, dirty, and just looked miserable. I tried to get the security guy to call the cops, but he didn't think it was anything to worry about.

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  • by IceQueen on May 15th, 2007

    IceQueen

    Yes I saw a woman mistreating her child, I freaked on her, I told her if she wants to be treated with respect later on,then she should be best treating her off spring with respect. BE NICE! ugh..( no wonder some old age people never get visits.)

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  • by Esteban-- Smartest Pumpkin on June 3rd, 2007

    Esteban-- Smartest Pumpkin

    I did, I stopped her and told her if she ever hit her daughter again because she was angry with her husband I would put a permanent stop to it.

    A whack on the hand or rear after a child runs into the street or away from the car in a busy parking lot is one thing but to punch and kick a child (about 10 or 11) while trapped up against a car is another.

    She, the parent said that she was angry at the husband because they "didn't spend enough time together".

    I gave the girl my card, warned the mom and filed a report with the sheriff.

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  • by CartWithoutABagMan on May 15th, 2007

    CartWithoutABagMan

    Depends on what you call abuse. Spanking yes, beating, no. Nothing anyone would have arrested them for. I just gave them a nasty look when I walked by. If they had been beating the kid or something like that I would have gotten the store manager ASAP and also called 911 on my cel phone to report it.

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  • by Takei-Shihan on September 20th, 2007

    Takei-Shihan

    Yes.

    ... in a shopping mall ...

    A mother slapped her daughter's face, fairly hard, and was about to slap again when I caught her wrist and pinched a painful nerve.

    I then put on my "mean" face, pointed my finger at the brat kid and with my most booming voice, said, "Your mother is part right, you need to learn more discipline, you are a very bad brat." Then I quickly turned back to the mother and said, "and YOU need to learn a better way to teach her discipline ... good day, maam."

    ... and I walked away, without looking back ...

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  • by FreeSpirit on May 15th, 2007

    FreeSpirit

    1. We were on a vacation in Italy. Two very fat women were sitting at a table at an outside cafe in the summer eating ice cream happily, when I noticed that next to them was a stroller with a little girl in it that had been faced AWAY from the table. She was crying because they weren't sharing their ice cream with her! Discusted with this my friend walked over and knelt down in front of the stroller and gently placed her hand on the little girl's hand and began to softly console her and wipe her tears away. The women noticed and were embarrassed and turned the stroller towards their table and gave her some ice cream. I think her gentle approach was effective because it didn't put the ladies on the defense yet ended the little girl's unecessisary suffering.

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  • by Runaholism on May 15th, 2007

    Runaholism

    I've witnessed it AND was a victim of it. (sad) It's a horrifying scene. Don't really want to bring back memories but you get the idea.

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  • by Gunner on May 15th, 2007

    Gunner

    Yes i have, in India its common for a parent to slap the child/ hit the child with a stick etc. This was long back that my dad and me were walking by this street when a parent had pulled out his kid to the road and was hitting him with a stick, i was maybe 12-13 years old.. but my dad went up to the parent and asked him to keep such encounters within the house and not on the street. My dad is not the kind who believes in physical abuse of the child.

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  • by Nublet on May 15th, 2007

    Nublet

    When I was a kid & out in public with my mom & brother, she had noticed a parent abusing their child a couple times. She'd call Child Protective Services, I think with the license plate #. Don't think that really did anything though.

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  • by Skruff on February 13th, 2009

    Skruff

    I've seen it many times, and it always feels like I'm the one getting smacked. I have a negative physical reaction when witnessing violence particularly violence between non-equals.

    My first experience with this was when I was eleven at the 72St Subway Station in New York City. I had just been talking to a Rabbi from our temple. I Started down the stairs to the subway, and a man was slapping a boy about my age. he had him by the collar of his coat, and was backhanding him with the other hand. I yelled at him to stop, but he just turned to me and said "you're next" I ran back up the stairs, caught up to Rabbi Kaufman, and told him what was happening. We both ran back to the stairwell where the guy was now punching the child who was on the ground bleeding.

    Rabbi Kaufman put his own body between the man and the boy and said "STOP" the man pushed past the Rabbi and ran away. It turned out the man was no relation to the boy, but had become mad when the boy brushed against him in the crowd.

    Rabbi Kaufman went to see the boy at Knickerbocker Hospital, he later told me the boy might have died without intervention.

    Oh Yeah, the stairway where all this happened was crowded with adults who just walked around these people.

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  • Yes, and I feel awful about my reaction, or lack thereof.

    I was staying at Circus-Circus in Vegas, walked out of my room one morning to take the elevator down, and there was a family of rednecks (sorry, no PC way to describe them) arguing. The father, obviously already drunk at 9am, starting yelling at his 4- or 5-year old son and then starting shoving and hitting him. We were actually pretty terrified, and just walked back to our room to wait until they had left.

    Looking back, I know I should have intervened somehow, and I still feel awful that I didn't. But initiating a confrontation with drunken rednecks is not high on my list of World's Safest Activities. I know from experience.

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  • by DreAnna on June 3rd, 2007

    DreAnna

    yes and I was temporarily detained..the law does work in mysterious ways sometimes

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  • by 8 Jan 2004-10 Dec 2009 on June 3rd, 2007

    8 Jan 2004-10 Dec 2009

    Yes. I cried. It was me.

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  • by No longer on answerbag on January 16th, 2010

    No longer on answerbag

    Never witnessed it. If I did, and was an adult, I'd probably say something. Most likely in a way that wouldn't make things worse for the poor kid when he/she got home. (Only one person ever said anything to my mom when she hit in public, and it wasn't fun once the well meaning lady was out of sight) BUT I don't thing slapping is abuse. HEck the one time someone intervened, we weren't being abused. ONCE we got home from that...well, that's another story. I don't even remember where I was going with this...

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  • by Eileen on February 16th, 2009

    Eileen

    I was in my car stopped at a traffic light what I saw as a female approx 20 to 25 yrs/o crossing the street infront of my vehicle pulling and I mean pulling the child by her left arm, child female 2 to 3 yrs/o...it was raining lightly and that is when the woman closed her umbrella and started hitting the child in the legs to get her to move faster........needless to say I followed her, and I let her know I was following her, to a house that she entered, fortunately for her I was off duty, but within 2 minutes I had a police assistance there and within 25 minutes Division of Youth and Family Services arrived. I could not intervine myself because I had my gun with me as I was off shift and returning home. It turned out she was the babysitter..........The parents pressed charges.

    I would do it again and again when a kid of that age or any age is seemingly in danger I have no problem making it my business.

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  • by Lizza on February 13th, 2009

    Lizza

    yer there was this girl she was eight and she accidentally bumped into a police man. she said sorry immidiatly and the man just smiled and didn't mind but the mother started yelling at the girl. the police man said it was fine but the mum slapped the girl and pulled her by her hair to their car and took her nan's cuase the mother was so embarrassed i know becuase that girl was me

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  • by Aquatic Eagle on January 16th, 2009

    Aquatic Eagle

    Most definitely. Even if someone didn't step in physically, just bringing attention to the problem will probably embarrass the parent and cause them to stop.

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  • by shrinkess on November 27th, 2008

    shrinkess

    Yes. I saw a mother screaming at her little girl in the mall. I went over and got into her personal space and just stared at her. She stopped. If I saw the same thing today, I'd call the cops.

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  • by Krysta01 on November 27th, 2008

    Krysta01

    Her mom would sue us

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  • by Krysta01 on November 27th, 2008

    Krysta01

    Yes. My own cousin was abused as an infant but she had the love of her other relatives to remain stable enough to this day. I was only 11 at the time and her mother actually picked her up by the arm only!.. then slammed her in the shopping cart. She started crying of course! When her mother wasn't looking I went in the baby bag, gave her a bottle and hugged her. She then stopped crying.. I did this a lot to my baby cousin and so did other relatives because she was abused and now goes through verbal abuse.

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  • by ICU says April is Autism Awareness Mo. on October 24th, 2008

    ICU says April is Autism Awareness Mo.

    Yes, I called 911 immediately. The cops were there in a heart beat. I saw an elderly grandmother backhand her toddler grandson right in the face.

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  • by msminnamouse on October 24th, 2008

    msminnamouse

    I saw it once when I was really young and didn't do anything because I didn't know what to do and once again a couple of years ago but it happened really fast and they walked away really fast and I wasn't close enough to them anyways.

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  • by briggette93 on September 3rd, 2008

    briggette93

    no I haven't but if I did I would call the police immediately. spanking is one thing but beating is another. I probably would not call for a spanking but a beating or hitting with an object or punching or hitting the child then yes I would call the cops.

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  • by dkat on August 24th, 2008

    dkat

    I do believe in spanking, not everyone does today. But that is the limit. I am so surprised by todays standards!!! 20 years ago there was no such thing as ADD, but medications are now the solution. Back then, spanking was and we turned out all right!

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  • by Zebra Girl on August 24th, 2008

    Zebra Girl

    Yes, this lady was at a store with about an eight month old little girl in her cart. The baby grabbed something off a shelf and the lady hauled off and smacked the baby across the face right in front of me. I went up to the lady who knew that I had seen what she had done. I yelled at her, "If this is how you treat your baby in public, how do you treat her at home?!" An employee heard me yelling and I told him to go get a manager and to call the police, right away. I stood there with the woman until the loss provention workers came and took her and the baby in their office. Apparently, they caught the whole thing on camera. I don'tknow what happened after giving my statement to the police. All I know is that smacking an innocent baby across the face is something that should never be done. I should have hauled off and smacked her but I didn't want to scare the baby anymore then necessary.

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  • by MG1942 Has a Life Penguin on August 19th, 2008

    MG1942 Has a Life Penguin

    I bought the kid the thing he wanted, then told his mother she was a C-U-Next-Tuesday;)

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  • by InKeD on August 19th, 2008

    InKeD

    Indeed I have...

    Once I said something, she brought race issues into it. So I walked over to her, stood over the top of her, stared her directly in the eyes and told her that if her race knew how to properly look after their kids, we wouldn't always have to take them from them and you wouldn't see them all through welfare.

    She didn't like it, but said nothing as I intimidated the hell out of her. She grabbed her kid and took off down the street.

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  • by Dad to the world on August 15th, 2008

    Dad to the world

    Yes. I saw the same lady on the same bus two days in a row. Both times her little boy sat next to me and would not leave with her when she went to get off. He pressed himself against me, because he had seen me catch his eye the first day and looked like he'd been hit and his eyes were sill wet. She hit him in front of me the second day I saw them and I told her if I ever saw her again, I would report her to the police after I beat the crap out of her first. She said it wasn't any of my business and she hadn't done anything anyway. I told her I just made it my business. The little boy thanked me very quietly as they got off the bus. She wasn't bothering his sister.

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  • by BiggMo on August 5th, 2008

    BiggMo

    yep. Me.
    countless times in public restrooms and a few times in grocery stores.

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  • by jessie-rose on June 29th, 2008

    jessie-rose

    when i was 13 my father dragged me across a gravel roadm threatening to kill me if i didnt get into the car. he was trying to take me to the police station and have me arrested because he thought i was one child too many.
    i was bleeding, had scratches and bruises all over my body and was screaming for help and noone came, even though there were close to 20 people in the area.
    ive never been able to forgive those strangers and intervene whenever i think its necessary.

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  • by cruzpino on June 29th, 2008

    cruzpino

    Do you consider it abusive to bring a child to a violent movie? I saw a movie a long time ago called "Ransom" and it involved a LOT of violence and a little guy kidnapped and treated badly. Definitely R rated stuff and this guy has all his kids with him at a 10PM showing -- I could not enjoy the movie thinking about what those kids experienced but allowed myself to be talked out of giving him a piece of my mind -- I would have behaved differently now...

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  • by Anonymous on September 20th, 2007

    Anonymous

    About a year ago I was at a hotel and I heard a rumor that a woman let her little boy drink beer, and since I'm interested in electronics I decided to do a little spying and so I sneaked a camera into her room. I war later shocked to see her complete disregard to her sons health, so I called the police and had her arrested with proof of the act via a recorded video tape. Unfortunately though I was later arrested on the misdemeanor of invading her privacy, but I think the ends justify the means.

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  • by DannyJ on June 3rd, 2007

    DannyJ

    Not abusing in public. I've seen parents abusing their kids in private--not physically, by the way--and disciplining (including spanking) in public, but not "abusing in public."

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  • by Nelson - Jetpacking from bed on June 3rd, 2007

    Nelson - Jetpacking from bed

    Ladies and Gentlemen (and you too DD :)) it appears that DannyJ has left the building. Thank you for your support, and lets all to our best to prevent people that should no procreate (I'm not going to mention names) from abusing children. Also shouts out to all of you for helping to prevent abuse and the cycle of violence. Hugs to all (but one)!

  • by Mandy the Pirate Comedian on October 10th, 2007

    Mandy the Pirate Comedian

    Usually i stare really hard.. and if they keep up i say something.
    i see it so much that it pisses me off. kids don't know that they are making you mad. they just know that thier actions create reactions.

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  • by Loopyboy on November 29th, 2008

    Loopyboy

    I FREAKING LAUGHED SO HARD I CRYED

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  • by pablo ernesto on October 4th, 2007

    pablo ernesto

    call to police, in other contry the police

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  • by Anonymous on May 2nd, 2008

    Anonymous

    yes i have and it was when i was at an airport and a woman was about to hit her child. I caught her arm mid air and told her that what ever she did to her child I would do to her and I actually got an applause from the people at waiting for thier luggage. how cool is that i felt so brave

  • by angryriver on January 29th, 2010

    angryriver

    Once I went to a fair. After I had spent some nice time there I was resting at a less crowded place in the fair. I was thinking something else when I heard some sound of thrashing. I turned around and found a girl of my age facing me and crying. Her mom is spanking her. I found a switch in her hand. The girl was crying helplessly. I was about to come to her when her mom spotted me.The moment her mom saw me she dragged her to the public toilet just beside to where I was standing.
    The door was locked from inside. Now the girl started yelling more and more. I could here her cries. Her mom was spanking her harder.
    When she came out I really felt bad for the poor girl but nothing could I do to ease her pain. She was still crying . Poor fellow.

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  • by Once here now gone... now back? on January 17th, 2010

    Once here now gone... now  back?

    Abuse is such a broad term, I've heard being ten minutes late to pick up a kid from school because of car problems called abusive before, and I've heard someone say taking a belt buckle to a kid was perfectly alright...

    Then there is passive abuse, neglect, not doing anything about misbehavior, not providing any guidance at all.

    It is also subjective, what is abuse in one situation may not be in another, or may be understandable given the background behind the act, or may only be the tip of the iceberg.

    I have witnessed adults yell at kids before or handle them roughly. In each case I have followed the pair to see if it appeared to be a one off event and if the child seemed notably scared or quiet. In all 4 or so cases the child had done something prior to the outburst (not blaming the child), the adult reacted emotionally, but they both appeared to recover.

    Does that make it not abuse? I don't know, but I didn't feel the children were in danger. To be honest I am not opposed to spanking, I don't think it is the best method of discipline, nor should often if ever be needed. I also do not believe parents should somehow become super-heros, god-like and perfect in everything they do.

    Sometimes life tosses you more stress than you can cope with for the moment, sometimes a child acting out is a trigger to what has built up. Doesn't make it ok or right, but it isn't something so far out of the norm for humans to be unbelievable.

    The problem with witnessing parenting in public is that you have no way of telling if this is how it is every day, how it is at home, if this was a one time thing that the adult is already tearing themselves apart inside over it. Nor do you know that child, how stubborn they might be, what they might have done leading up to what you witnessed.

    Again, not saying that a misbehaving child gives excuse to abusing them, but parents are human beings too and children do have a talent at pushing buttons. If you touch a hot stove and are burned it is not because the stove is a bad stove, a certain action has lead to a certain reaction.

    So all that considered I would say it would depend on the length and severity of the "abuse" if the adult seemed remorseful afterward, and if there was evidence to suggest it was a common event, like a child becoming noticeably fearful or quiet from a certain look, or whisper. Or threats of "You know what you are getting when we get home.".

    Personally I think perhaps society has become too concerned over what other parents are doing to the point parents are afraid to do anything. The other day I was shopping at Wal-Mart and these two girls were screaming and bumping into peoples carts and then started tossing boxes of frozen food on the floor.

    They were being an absolute horror and their mother smiled at them and told them to play nice, they continued doing what they were doing and she just smiled at them again put something in her cart and walked away with them chasing after her.

    There were eight others in the aisle not including myself, none of us said anything. I personally felt it wasn't my place to tell her she needed to gag and tie her kids to her shopping cart because that is what I was picturing in my head. It was obvious she either didn't care or didn't believe in correcting her children. I personally believe those girls are going to grow up really screwed up and are going to get hit hard with reality when someone isn't as passive as their mother.

    I also believe that like I mentioned above that it has become too expected that any mistake is an automatic failure for being a good parent. Oh my god that father just slapped his son, what a horrible horrible father he is, he deserves jail! Up until recently, it was common as having peas with meatloaf that children got spanked, sometimes in public if they were being really out of control. If a parent knocked their kid in the head it probably wouldn't draw much attention.

    Yet these kids, grew up to start companies, space programs, power plants, became doctors or nurses. Life existed before 1950, medicine and education weren't what they are now, but people lived their lives, some rich, some poor, but in many cases spanking or what would be called beating today was so common it was mentioned on shows such as Flipper and Lassie, later on The Wonder Years. It wasn't something people and parents were ashamed of, and kids grew up just fine.

    I agree there are many methods which are "kind" and more effective most of the time, such as timeouts, or rewarding good behavior. Becoming more educated about psychology and the potential harmful effects of abuse. It isn't that these effects are new, they always existed and were considered normal, it is just that society has deemed anything but a perfect result to be an absolute failure these days.

    Is that fair? I honestly don't know. But I still believe adults spend too much time trying to run other peoples lives and too much time trying to raise other peoples kids.

    Then again, that lady caught on video beating that kid in the backseat over and over, she deserved getting pulled off by the hair at least. She needed serious help. I don't care what that kid did, that was over the top.

    Anyway sorry for the long answer!

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  • by obesechicken13 on June 14th, 2010

    obesechicken13

    I and my younger brother have been abused all throughout our lives both verbally and physically. Nowadays my dad is a lot nicer though.

    As many others have pointed out though, it's a delicate issue to interfere. Why don't you think the kids don't call the cops themselves? They're scared of what might happen.

    If you call the cops on an abusive parent, I'm pretty sure they don't get sent to jail, and usually are not removed from their child, which means they'll just take their anger out on their child. Stopping them in public for a moment doesn't do anything either.

    In rare situations, I think a child can not live with their parents, and should get help so they can be raised by a kinder relative or an orphanage.

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  • by scmite on August 7th, 2010

    scmite

    Yes, I was working as a cashier and a little girl threw up on the floor.. Her mother went crazy..She made the sick child take off her coat and wipe up the puke....and then dragged her out the door.... sorry to say I was so shocked, I did nothing. I wish I would have called the police..

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  • by scmite on August 7th, 2010

    scmite

    CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE.......

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  • by Jessica13 on July 1st, 2008

    Jessica13

    Yes. I was in the mall parking lot, and I saw a man holding about a 7 or 8 year old girl up against the car and he was slapping his face. The poor little boy was crying and screaming and his face was red. So, I went over to the man and shoved him up against his car and started slapping HIS face. The man started to yell, and I said, there is absolutly no need to treat a child like that. And just because he's young, doesn't mean he isn't human!!! Then I gave the little boy my card and I told him that if. his dad ever did that to him again, that he is welcome to call me. Then I gave the man a dirty look, and walked away.

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  • by Go know thyself is THE RED QUEEN on November 27th, 2008

    Go know thyself is THE RED QUEEN

    Nothing... it's none of my business because what is abuse in one mind is not abuse in another.

    I get annoyed by the kind of person that runs around with an "Im better then" chip on their shoulder that takes pride and pleasure in calling everyone out without first thinking about the long term effects of their actions to everyone BUT them and their pride.

    yeah, great, pin a rose on their chest for saving a child from a beating that they may very well have deserved... but don't plan on being around to see the cause and effects play themselves out in the life of that child as he or she gets taken away and put into a horrible system that neither protects them or gives a sh*it about anything other than protocol and rules and regulations. they in more cases then not they themselves dont follow for the excuse of a lack of manpower!

    When I was younger, about 7 or 8... I used to get a metal tipped ruler taken to my bare ass by a male gym teacher for cursing on the bus... It was legal correction in those days...

    how does a few years change that, a stranger being able to beat your kids in public, to nothing at all being acceptable and creating a fear of ever repremanding your kids at all because some self righteous nut job calls the cops on your for spanking your kids in walmart because they are screaming and ranting and raving like lunatics and you are at your wits end and fed up?

    and do you think the child would rather take the beating? or get taken away from their home and their family? What would make more sense to the child? A spanking for doing something wrong or possibly not seeing their parents again for doing somethng wrong?

    Think people... think full circle before you do!

  • by Phillis - Zacks little sister on November 27th, 2008

    Phillis - Zacks little sister

    Yes, and I embarrassed the woman in front of the entire restaurant!!! And then I ordered the wait staff to call the police. The woman left before police could arrive. And I would GLADLY do it again.

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  • by Momto3 on January 22nd, 2009

    Momto3

    Be careful of how you react to a parent, what you do could make it wrose for the child. Most people dont realize, but stepping in when a parent is smacking their child in the store could lead to way worse things for that child when they get home.

    The best thing is asses what is really going on. Is the parent really going to hurt the child. And I dont mean make them cry, but really hurt them. If they are going to really be hurt, by what is taking place, by all means step in. But if the mother is just doing enough to make the child cry or enough to get them to obey, then there is two choices. Do nothing or destract the parent. Say something like "I just love your hair" or shirt or what ever, use something to get their attention off of the child and on to you. Ask them if they know where something is in the store.

    Use good judment. I think a parent has the right to spank their child, but not beat their kids. If I seen a mom give her child a swat in the store I wouldnt do anything, in fact I swat my kids if they need it. But if I seen a parent over doing it, and possible abuse but not sure, I would interupt and distract them. It could just be a bad day and stress they are having. And If I point out what a bad parent they are being, that would only add to the stress and proabably the child to be in even more trouble once they got home.
    But if I thought they were really going to hurt them , I am bardging in and im going to give them a piece of my mind and call the cops.

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  • by destiny on February 16th, 2009

    destiny

    THIS IS A VRY TOUCHY SUBJECT IF I HAD A GUT FEELING THAT SHE WAS WRONG I WOULD CONFRONT HER AND OH-WELL IF SHE DIDN'T LIKE IT CHILDREN DON'T DESERVE THE PARENTS ACTING OUT FROM THERE OWN STRESS AND THIS IS HAPPENING MORE AND MORE FOR ME USE YOU GUT FEELING TO REACT HOPE THIS HELPS

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  • by nagol the scot on August 19th, 2008

    nagol the scot

    yes
    ... and as i recall the man didn't get up or a while after i'd finished.

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You're reading Have you ever witnessed a parent abusing their child in public? What did you do? - which can also be phrased in the following ways:

  • If you saw a parent/caretaker slap or otherwise physically abuse a child in a public place (i.e. supermarket), what would you do?
  • If you saw a mother or father mistreating a child in public, would you step in?

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