by Anonymous on May 11th, 2007

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I have been having Mother's Day Blues for 12 years now(my mom and grandmom passed away) and I don't have the best relationships with my 2 sisters. I feel so depressed on Mother's Day, I just stay to myself and I push others away. How can I get past this?

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by Nuttsky on May 11th, 2007
This might sound really dumb, but is there an old-folks' home nearby? There are some WONDERFUL old women living in some of those places, with little or no family, who would treasure a Mom's Day visit from you. And I'm thinking a great friendship could develop. Maybe phone, and ask the nursing staff to suggest somebody nice who doesn't get many visitors.
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- Thanks for your suggestion, however I am barely able to make it through the workday without crying. I would be an emotional wreck.
  
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  by Anonymous on May 11th, 2007
- Sweet one, you've got to talk to SOMEbody. If you are feeling that blue, I'm thinking depression. Can you possibly go to a counselor? Crying is okay there, and it can help so much.
  
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  by Nuttsky on May 11th, 2007
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by norns_main on May 11th, 2007
i had the same problem with mothers day. i tried to stay home and avoid all contact (TV, news, radio) with the outside world that reminds me of the day.

if you can, spend time with your sisters - they have the same feelings that you do
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- Thanks for the advice, however........
  After my mother's death, I told my sisters that we need to spend more time together and be really close because we are all we really have and they told me that I am talking "White"(We are African American). I haven't gotten over their ignorance either.
  
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  by Anonymous on May 11th, 2007
- That's an extra blow that you didn't need.
  
  I'm sorry for your loss.
  
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  by Nuttsky on May 11th, 2007
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by FreeSpirit on May 11th, 2007
I think you should shift your focus to appreciation. Try treating the day as an honoring of all the wonderful mothering you've experienced in your life and stand in appreciation of it as oppose to wishing you still had it. Allow yourself to move past focusing on what you don't have to make room in your life for more. If you're always focused on the pain in your life, you'll just attract more of it.

Nuttsky was right in suggesting you try something new on this day. So what if you cry all day, maybe they can help you thought it? The more you are willing to hang on to the grief, the more of it you will have. What if you appreciate your friends that are mothers somehow? My point is to rewrite what this day is like for you every year by handling it totally differently. There's no reason why you should miss your mother more in THIS day than other days, the reality isn't different, It's just a formality like most holidays.

Try approaching this day with a different goal than prior years and you might be able to turn this day into the best day of the year for you. Try waking up and starting the day with,"Today is going to be the best day of my life." Spend the day giving back to anyone you can, even a stranger. The people that lost people on 911 have similar feelings. Some take September 11th and completely spin it around by participating in charity events to help the community and turn the day around forthemselves, while others go shut themselves in a dark room. The choice is yours, it's really all in how you choose to approach your life.

good Luck, I'm so sorry for your loss.
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- Thank you. This is some really good advice/information. This is by far not the only day of the year I feel this way for the same reason, Its just that I have to hear about the mother/daughter bonding sessions more than any other time.
  
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  by Anonymous on May 11th, 2007
- I hear ya. Why don't you see this movie called THE SECRET. It changed my life. It will help you I think. Watch it on mother's day. All the best.
  
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  by FreeSpirit on May 11th, 2007
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by norns_main on May 12th, 2007
if you can't find support with your sisters, you could volunteer to do something for your mothers memory. like the breast cancer walk and such.

if you are still down, i always like to remember that mother's day is only one day. monday morning you won't even think about it
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Question

I have been having Mother's Day Blues for 12 years now(my mom and grandmom passed away) and I don't have the best relationships with my 2 sisters. I feel so depressed on Mother's Day, I just stay to myself and I push others away. How can I get past this?

Answers. 4 helpful answers below.

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I have been having Mother's Day Blues for 12 years now(my mom and grandmom passed away) and I don't have the best relationships with my 2 sisters. I feel so depressed on Mother's Day, I just stay to myself and I push others away. How can I get past this?

Answers. 4 helpful answers below.

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