ANSWERS: 37
  • She's lucky she hasn't done this to me: I would have punched her! If she's bad-mouthing you, then there is definitely an issue, she needs to move on with her life. Talk to your boyfriend about this, and if he doesn't seem to care, then he just might not be worth this kind of trouble! Good Luck!
  • Talk to ur boyfriend and let him know it needs to stop. It's his job to make it stop. If he won't, then you need to move on, because he's either enjoying the attention or messing around. If he needs to get a new cell phone etc to make it stop then that's what he needs to do.
  • It sounds like your boyfriend is enjoying the attention that he is receiving from his ex. If he doesn't want her contacting him, then he can easily put a stop to it. The question is, does he want to? Of course, his ex girlfriend is in the wrong, but it is up to your boyfriend to set firmer boundaries for her blatant disrespect of your relationship. Since their relationship is over and he has moved on with you, there is no reason for her to be contacting him. Especially not on a daily basis. Your boyfriend needs to stand firm and let his ex know that he will not tolerate it. If the situation were reversed, I'm sure he wouldn't want you chatting it up with an ex boyfriend of yours all the time. You don't have anything to say to her. It's up to him to put closure to their relationship. If he doesn't...then you may need to reassess some things.
  • set your boyfriend down and tell him that if he want's to stay a couple, he has to put an end to his ex's call's and text's. if he says it doesn't mean anything, and he says he can't conrol what his ex does, then you need to rethink your relationship. while it's true that he cannot control what she does, he can put a stop to it. good luck.
  • They are obviously still involved, even if only emotionally. Your boyfriend should tell her to stop calling or texting and distance himself from her. If he is unwilling to do that, I would re-evaluate the relationship you have with him.
  • the question is.. what does your bf do? you can'yt do anything about it actually but your bf can do somthing about that.. if he stop replyin or reacting to his ex's actions then that girl will stop sooner or later... talk with your bf..
  • GET USED TO IT OR LEAVE HIM....it sounds like there's more going on between them then meets the eye. if it still continued after you expressed your concern..well doen't that tell you something?? NUMBER ONE: your feeling don't count. number two: he needs her in his life. number three: speaking to her is more important than your feeling....leave that jerk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
  • I have been reading about this subject cause as in your case my boyfriend's wife has been also calling him with "little requests", like she needs dish washing soap, the light in the living room went off, the air conditioner is not working properly, she is broke, she needs money, the grass is overgrown, and I feel if it not were for me been there in the middle, he would run and do all these things for her and perhaps return to her. In spite he says he will not go back, he seems to enjoy the idea of his ex wife wanting him back after they recently got divorce. He adds: now that she's seen that he has gone up with his life ...now she wants him back.... And on top of that she still doesn't know about me...and he says he is in no hurry to let her in into this fact... I really understand your concern and feel for you ...but I guess there is a lot of thinking you have to do here...she is an ex girlfriend and unlike and ex wife with his kids ...he certainly don't have to talk to her for the kids sake....instead he should be talking to you... You should tell him how you feel...how him talking to her makes you feel and what you expect from him in the short run...set dates and time tables for these changes to take place... And if you don't see the results and changes you requested ...LEAVE....Leave....Leave....as you will earn more terrain by leaving than by staying and feel humiliated by both of them...
  • dump oyur botfriend and tell him to go back to his ex.
  • You should be directing your negative comments to your bf exclusively. Let him know that this is affecting your relationship with him and is not acceptable. Then you need to determine whether you want to leave him or not, if the ex won't go.
  • Leave him. After you have expressed that it makes you uncomfortable and he still persists- it means he doesn't care enough about you to stop it. Leave him- otherwise you'll just get your heart broken worse, later.
  • Get rid of him. it's been happening for 10 months because he is allowing it and so have you. If he really wanted to get rid of his ex, he would have changed his # or something. He's probably getting off on 2 chicks wanting him.
  • Tell him to change his number! And to quit talking to her! I figure if he won't then he doesn't care enough about you and isn't over her and maybe he should just be with her! He should be more respectful towards you and not let her do this!
  • Dump him. He's not over her. Quit wasting your time.
  • If you have talked to your boyfriend about how you feel and he is still talking and texting, it is tine for an ultimatum. It's you or her.
  • i would tell him to take care of it, he is the only one who can tell her to stop. the fact that she has even bad mouthed you. should have been the final straw. i would just leave him alone, he might be messing around with her or something it sounds like he dosn't care about your feelings enough to make her stop so save your self the drama and find your self a man who will value what u think and feel.
  • Consider......She wouldn't be doing it if he wasn't allowing it.
  • I'm going to address your boyfriend. He is the one with the commitment to you, not her. She's not promised to respect you or your feelings. If your boyfriend wanted to show respect and consideration for you, he would have done it by now. Not only that, but he continues to be around her when she disrespects you. You cannot change him. All you can do is decide whether or not to live with it. If you can, well, that's your choice and I won't give my opinion on it. If you can't, move on.
  • Run away. If you are not good enough for him to forget his ex. then its time to find someone else.
  • Sorry hun it sounds like he isnt that into you. If you have expressed this to both of them they don't care about your feelings at all. I would think he is messing around on both of you and she knows about it. Get rid of him he does not deserve you.
  • Like others have somewhat said... He doesn't seem to respect your feelings about it. (Reminds me of that song "Crowded".) Not that he should drop his friends, but everyday?? I don't even get that kind of attention from my friends or significant others...
  • SINCE YOU'VE ALREADY COMMUNICATED WITH HIM ON IT MAKES YOU FEEL AND IT ODVIUOSLY STILL PERSIST THEN HE IS EITHER DOING NOTHING WITH HER AND JUST ENJOYING THE ATTENTION AND GIVING HERE FALSE HOPE I BET SHE THINKS THEY HAVE ACHANCE TO GET BACK TOGETHER. THIS WHOLE THING PROABBLE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER IF ITS SENARIO A WHICH I LISTED ABOVE . SENARIO B LISTED BELOW. THE MORE LIKELY CANIDATE IS HES STILL SLEEPING WITH HER. EITHER WAY HE DOESNT RESPECT YOU ENOUGH TO STOP AND YOU DONT RESPECT YOURSELF ENOUGH TO DROP HIM. IF A GUY BLATANLY DISRESPECTS YOU. HELLO HES SHOWING YOU HOW HE FEELS. ACTION ARE ALWAYS LOUDER THEN WORDS BUT THE MOST IGNORED. TAKE A HINT HE JUST DOESNT KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU ARE IS COWARDLY AND DOESNT WANT TO TELL YOU. I READ THAT 40% OF MEN WILL STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT THEY DONT WANT TO BE IN BECAUSE THEY DONT WANT TO BE THE ONE TO ACTUALLY BREAK IT OFF THEY WILL SHOW HOW THEY FEEL BUT THE WOMEN DONT GET IT. AND AFTER SO LONG THE WOMEN REALIZES BUT AFTER MUCH HEART ACHE. TAKE A HINT BABY GIRL. OR IT COULD BE SENARIO C YOU REALLY MAY BE SLACKIN AND NOT GIVING HIM WHAT HE FEELS HE NEEDS OR WANTS BUT HE STILL SHOULD TALK TO YOU ABOUT AN NOT DISRESPECT YOU. THAT CHICK STILL LOVES HIM SO IF YOUR GOING TO MAKE IT WORK HIS EX'S NEED TO TAKE TH EBACK BURNER(DISTANCE BETWEEN HIM AND HER ) MEANING NO TXTING AND LIMITED AMOUNT OF CALLS. BUT IF IT WAS ME IN YOUR POSITION I WOULD LEAVE HIM AND I BET SOON AFTER HE WOULD EITHER COME RUNNING BACK TO ME MEETING MY NEW RULES(NO EX COMMUNICATION) OR HE WOULD GO BACK TO HIS EX OR EVEN BE HAPPY AND START DATING OTHER CHICKS WHO KNOWS. BUT HE ODVIUOSLY CANT TELL YOU HOW HE FEELS SO DROP HIM. OH AND JUST BECAUSE HE COMES CROWLLING BACK DOESNT MEAN YOU SHOULD TAKE HIM BACK.
  • she does it cause he allows her to. he allows her to because thats what he wants...maybe you should find a bf whos not still hung up on his ex.
  • tell your man that enough is enough. you don't want this girl around and if he wants you to be with him he needs to tell her to leave him alone. If this skank has bad mouthed you and your boyfriend didn't take that as a sign that it needs to end then it seems like something is definetely going on. If he loves you he would easily get rid of this other girl. tell him its her or you. As for this little hoe that won't leave an unavailable man alone she needs to grow up or maybe you should pay her a visit with some girlfriends and make sure she gets the point that you dont want her around. good luck.
  • This sadly plagues many and did me too. The old saying "let them remain friends" is what i used to live by until it happened to me(personally i never call an ex and always tell them to not call if in a new relationship.makes life way easier). But here the real reality. When i did decide to ask what he is saying from her turned out he was still trying to get back tell her how he changed. Now here the truth.It is bad for a relationship to keep contact with ex. Many do it for the attention.I for one can see she has little intrest in him but also seems concerned i will stray and want to show she is desirable to others. But its unhealthy and i decided to tell her that. When she fully realised i was uncomfortable she deleted his number and asked him not to call again.
  • I have two words for you....restraining....order
  • Dear friend, I have been in both sides of this problem. I was the girl who was frustrated that my man wouldn't stop texting and calling his ex back. We would be spending the evening out and he would reach for the phone to see what she had to say. He would say, "She won't stop unless I send something back or see what she wants." It drove me crazy!!! When he started his relationship with his new girlfriend he told me things like, "I don't love her and I don't want to settle... I still have feelings for you..." I know they have a serious relationship. The problem is not you or her! It's him!!! Later I found out that the whole entire time we were together he was still hooking up with his ex on occasion. He had attachment issues. Come to find out he was still communicating with ALL his exs behind my back the whole entire time we dated!!! The kicker is when he started to say he still had feelings for me I did not know he was with his "new" girlfriend... I had reinvested feelings and remained hurt and angry. Perhaps this is her problem. She is still trying to figure out if what he says is true. Guys love to tell the ex that you're not that great when in fact the guy is all about you! I still don't understand it.. My advice is RUN AWAY!!! He will cheat or else he would have ended all communication with her. It's just the way it happens when a guy still talks to his ex on a regular basis. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it's so true. She's his security blanket just in case things don't work out with you.
  • Be firm, yet gentle. Let your boyfriend know that you are not comfortable with this activity. Let him know that she bad-mouths you and you just really don't appreciate her. If he just shrugs you off, perhaps you should question the situation here. The next question you need to ask yourself is: why does it bother you so much? Don't get me wrong, I understand how this could be bothersome. But is it because you are jealous? Suspicious? Annoyed? A combination? If it has anything to do with a mistrust issue, you need to discuss this as well. Finally, try giving an ultimatum and see what he says. If he says "so what" to you, then I think the answer is obvious. No girl wants a guy who doesn't care about her. Even if it would seem hard, it's for the best: you need to leave and find someone better.
  • Honestly it's up to him to put a stop on things. If he doesn't it's because he wants her to look for him because there have been some unresolved feelings that he just can't get over. When two people break up... you will always live with the grief inside but when you are with someone new it's because you probably want to move on, your boyfriend should know by now that you are his present and that his ex is his past, he's not really paying much attention to your feelings if it continues
  • I'm sorry to say it does not get better. I just ended a 2 1/2 year relationship with a man who was emotionally attached to his ex and lied about being in touch with her. He has been afraid of commitment even with her and I kept waiting for her to fall away thinking it would fade out and he would let her go. It never did. He was not available and after enough disrespect/emotional abuse on both of their parts I had to walk. It is hard to understand why a man would enter a new relationship and stay stuck to the past. It is infuriating to be the one on the receiving end of an unavailable man lying to you and leading you on. Yours is not ready for a commitment with you and while you stay he will never end what he has with her. Walk be brave and if he is the one he will demonstrate his commitment by ending that relationship. Remember, when a man loves and cares for you he wants to see you happy and cares for your feelings. This man is not demonstrating that. Look up narcissist. it sounds like that is what you are in a relationship (one sided) with.
  • He's probably just a sucker and can't say no. I would be flattered I had such a hot piece of real estate that someone out there is always pining away for it. Then I'd leave him.
  • The question is not what you should do - its what your boyfriend should do - and that is put an end to it - like 10 months ago even.
  • I have that same problem, though my boyfriend does it in secret. Suppose you just have to trust what it is they are texting each other. I don't mind him texting this particular ex, it's the fact he does it in secret that bothers me.
  • i am in such a similiar situation. i have lived with my bf for 3 yrs now. been together for 4. i was under the impression that the ex wife called only once in a great while, but i looked at his cell phone records and found that she's calling him about once every two weeks for the past three months. i don't know about before. he told me he didn't tell me 'cause he didn't want to hear me b@#$% about it. their daughter is grown and out on her own. i don't see any reason for her to call. he says he doesn't want to talk to her, but appeases her when she calls. he says he's not mean and hateful so he can't be mean to her. he sees no harm in the phone calls. he says he has no interest in her. i say i'm not so sure.. if someone calls that i do not want to talk to, i tell them not to call. he can't seem to do that. i say he still has connection with her, he says no way. she really wronged him. was a very bad person. yet, he defends her..defends her that she calls. i really don't know what to make of all of this. it hurts that he talks to her. i told him to tell her to stop, i don't know if he will. his parents hate her. she called them to ask how they were after a health scare. now she's telling the daughter she was thinking of coming to see the parents..who happen to live next door to us. he says maybe she feels bad about what she did to me and is trying to make it up to me. last call was 2 days before i went out of town. he told her i was going. i don't know why. it's not her business. leaves the question open .. did he meet up with her while i was gone??? i don't think so, but i wasn't here, so i don't know for sure. she is remarried. i'm sure her husband doesn't know she's calling. the calls are at least once every two weeks. i say that's too much. he says it's harmless phone calls...but what if she still has feelings for him and he's leading her on by accepting the calls and talking to her. i am so frustrated. i talk calmly about it to him, but he gets mad and starts yelling at me and tells me if i need to leave, then maybe i should. hmmm.. sounds like he would choose her over me, doesn't it?
  • I completely understand if that's any help. I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months, am very in love, but can't look past his relationship with his ex-girlfriend who has a verrrrryyyy commonly known reputation of being manipulative. It's just come to the point that it's not healthy for our relationship, or for me. It gets to be time to stop making excuses for your boyfriend and tell him to cut it off if you can't look past it. I'm sorry honey! I know how much it hurts. Good luck...
  • You know I read all these answers and they just make me cry. I'm going through the same thing. My boyfriend of a year and the future father of my child is still talking to his ex-wife. And he tells me everything they talk about. I let go completely of my past (coming out a divorce freshly out a divorce and he has been divorce going on 4 years now). At first I tried to understand what he was going on with them because he's a dog lover like me and they have 2 dogs together. But after a while she uses them against him. Now I'm going on 5 months pregnant and she has been texting him and asking about me and how things are. It seems like he doesn't care about how I feel about the situation. He tells me I'm acting like a child or too emotional because of my pregnancy. What he doesn't realize is that it going to cost us our relationship. And theres nothing I can do about it. He the one that says he loves me and our family but he won't let go of his fucking past. Am I alone on this?
  • Ok I have the same issue with my girlfriend. Although they never texted or talked on the phone, her EX keeps on talking to her online. I told her to delete him on her messenger list and she did, but the guy keeps on talking to her.. I told her to avoid him, but for some reason she was having a hard time doing it. Then she told me she has feelings for him (she still likes him). Then I put down the ultimatum, I asked her me or him, she chose me. She said she loves me and even if we broke up, she wouldn't get back together with him. She said after the fight that she's trying her best to avoid him...So I'm just hoping for the best. She also said she doesn't care what he's saying about me or about us because its not true.

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