do not convert for him. i was raised a mormon (though i stopped attending when i was about 16) and to be honest it hasnt been untill now (i'm 25 now) that i am finally learning about the church. the mormon religion has many good qualities yes, but there are so many things that they NEVER teach you. being mormon isnt like being catholic (from my perception of them. being an active catholic and only attending church easter and christmas. i havent researched the catholic church much yet but i will.) in the mormon religion active means going to church every week and participating in 'callings' such as teaching the younger children and what not. there is so much secretiveness in the mormon church. everything is 'you must get the milk before you can recieve the meat' kind of crap. why cant they just be open about everything their religion believes? because unless you have been pulled in far enough the the thought of leaving it all and not having the social acceptance you once had (which can be devistating especially for me cuz i live in utah) you will see how freaking weird so of the things they do are. for instance growing up in the mormon religion nothing was ever said about the rituals or ceremonys that you do when you get your endowments out or get married in the temple. nothing. all they say is that in order to have an 'eternal family' you must be married in the temple. they will tell you that only 'worthy members of the church' will be allowed to attend the 'sacred ceremony' if your family and friends arent mormon they dont get to see anything. they have to wait outside the temple while you have an impersonal and in my opinion bizarre ceremony. some mormons will have a ring exchange at the reception afterward but you arent allowed to have any kind of civil type cerimony (unless you do that first and wait a year before they allow you to get 'sealed' in the temple) the biggest thing that i have found recently is that when you get your endowments out you stip down and privatly have someone rub you down with oil and water then proceed to help you put on your garments for the first time like a freaking kid. and im not sure exactly what the stipulations are when it comes to being rubbed down the girl i know that went throught this didnt have parents that were members or anything so a woman temple worker do it, i dont know if thats always the case. with all the talk about modesty and keeping yourself covered up 'properly' it seems to weird to me to have someone rub oil over your naked body. anyways all i'm really trying to say is that scattered and longer than i though response is that the most important thing you can do is not even thing about converting untill you have personally learned about the church and come to some sort of conclusion, there is just so much more to it than what meets the eye. i know there are wonderfull amazing mormon men out there but before either of you think about committing to anything you need to each have an understanding about eachothers beliefs and accept that you dont have to agree because within the church there are so many things floating around and like catholics where you can go twice a year or go orthodox catholics following every little thing to the letter, there is so much negotiation when it comes down to individual people. i know people that have made a marriage work for +15 years with one spouse being a member and the other being agnostic and not believing the mormon religion. but i know many many other couples that rushed into a marriage and with in a couple years realizing that 1) that feeling that i got when i prayed to god and he aswered saying this was the man for me wasnt really god at all but they just heard what they wanted to hear and it was lust not love that drove them. 2)we have completely different views on religion and even though he wants to read the scriptures everyday and i dont and he wants to go to church every sunday and go to the temple monthly and i dont want to put that much work into any religion and it completely destroys their marriage. (i have personally had two close friends go through a divorce because of this situation and currently my best friend is trying to get out of her marriage because of this.) and i dont limit all this to just mormons i firmly believe that to be truely prepared to get married is to spend at least 2 years in an relationship with someone and that living together at least for a year and have sex prior to marrage is necessary because (and i believed this before i met my husband) there is just so much that you dont knwo about a person untill you live with them and are truely comfortable to be 100% yourself and let them see that you really are jsut going to throw your clothes on the floor at the end of the day and that is never going to change and you can learn what kind of things each of you are willing to change about your lifestyle and what you just wont, and can they live with that for the rest of their life? and sex is so important to a marriage and i'm not saying you should be doing it even every week but you have to understand eachothers sex drive. nationally the two largest causes for divorce are 1 money and 2 being unsatisfied sexually. my husband and i dated for 2 years and lived together (and was intimate) for 3 years before we got married and i am SOO glad we did it that way because there is so much that i could never have known without going through that process. and i'm not say that my way is the best or only way to go about courtship but it is right for us. what i really hope that you get out of this is maybe a little information some wisdom from my life experiences but most of all i hope i have provoked thought. think about yourself first what do you want/need out of life, out of a relationship, out of religion let him worry about what he needs; when you can come up with an idea of what you need out of it all then you can find a man (whether its him or another man) who fits into that and who you truely want to work with. relationships will never get easier there will always be fights hell i picked a fight with my husband today cuz i'm always the one who has to take the garbage to the curb every week but i know it will never change and he knows it will never change and i'm okay with that but i have a right to rant every now and again jsut like he can rant at me for leaving my clothes all over the bedroom floor. jsut remember it takes two happy people to make one happy couple.
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