ANSWERS: 51
  • Hey, she was drunk, so I think you can chalk this one up to the booze. Plus, she's a normal human, so she's bound to be attracted to other people regardless of marital commitments.
  • That's straight up wrong.
  • put yourself in her shoe and she on your shoe.. i bet she is now hyterically nagging you about that and calling you cheater.. by all means.. whether drunk or not its cheating, and being drunk is not an excuse that "you don't know what you are doin" its you know what you are doin, you just got a hell of guts!!"
  • Yes, she cheated. No, I wouldn't leave her. I would look at how you guys spend your social time though. Putting yourself in positions to be tempted is never healthy for a marriage. I would seek counseling and take a good look at your goals for your lives and marriage before proceeding to the divorce lawyer or to the clubs/bars.
  • She didn't physically cheat, but she emotionally cheated. You shouldn't leave her. You should seek counseling together to find out what is going on with your marriage? When was the last time you two sat down together and shared with each other what your needs are and if you are meeting those needs? Also, find out where the boundaries are in your marriage. Maybe your wife would agree not to go out and get drunk until your marriage is more on solid grounds and you get counseling. She needs to be honest with you about her true feelings. It's normal to be attracted to other people but it's not normal to let them kiss your neck or hold hands!!!
  • I wasnt that drunk - he was hot. I couldnt help myself. i am neglected by azziancex. he spends too much time on his website and playing ball.
  • BRO... sorry to say where there's smoke there's fire. You need to analyze your situation, and take a serious look at yourself before you set out to change her behavior. Something is wrong...I've been in a similar situation and it took an act of God for me to forgive and come correct.
  • I don't know if you should go as far as leaving her but I do believe that was a mild form of cheating.
  • Alcohol has a great way of making someone do or say things that are really on their minds, without fear of consequences. She may not have cheated on you (at least then) by the traditional sense of the word, but it is obviously on her mind. I would definately question her about what she thinks of this relationship.
  • Remember what you said when you got married? When you said those words, were you just repeating after the guy, or did they come from your heart? I would hope, the latter. You made a commitment and this is something you need to forgive and forget. And try getting her help with that drinking habit. Alcohol is poison.
  • Seriously, I'm surprised of the reactions on this board. By no means is what she did ok. It was pretty disrespectful. However, it seems like nothing big really happened. The worst thing that happened was that he kissed her, but she had no control of that. You shouldn't let her slide, but really... marriage is a serious deal and this isn't worth leaving her for. Just make sure it doesn't happen again.
  • People do stupid things when they're drunk.
  • yeah, that's messed up, you should have decked that guy if he knew she was married. she didn't cheat, but it sounds like she probably would. when people are drunk, they say and do stuff they wouldn't do when they are sober. it's not to say though that it's not on their minds when they are sober...just the inhibitions are gone when they are drinking..good luck!
  • Lets get all the key points in a list: 1) She was drunk 2) They sat together 3) They only kissed A) It was on the neck 4) She was attracted to him 1, alcohol can do that and much worse to ANYONE. 2, so what, people sit together on public transport too. 3, see 1 3a, not so bad, relax - also see 1 4, see 1 Alcohol, the #1 effect it has is the loss of clear thought... She didn't cheat, she got drunk. If you're even considering leaving her over such a tiny event, then IMO you are the one with problems, not her : / Where's the love? She has an excuse, she was drunk... If she is honestly sorry about it; then let it pass... Perhaps consider what worse things could (and do) happen when people are drunk, and be thankful that she at least had the strength not to do that : / Massive overreaction on your part IMO *shrugs*
  • What if you had done what she had done. Would it be cheating to her?
  • she was drunk i dont think you should take any of that personelly because alcohol can do alot of wierd things to you.
  • I wouldn't say so and I guess I think that you both are pretty lucky that's all that happened being that she was drunk! I know that when I get drunk if someone was to kiss my neck I'd be all over them!
  • I don't know about leaving but I would question her about if she thought she would do this again. Also I don't think I would allow her to go out like that & get drunk anymore if she can't control herself when she gets drunk. It starts out like this & will get a lil futher every time with other men if you allow it to go on. If you really value your marriage but only you can answer that question as well as her if you really want to know the answer you need to ask her.
  • Being drunk is no excuse. Does she feel neglected? Is this her way of broadcasting a message to you that she needs some attention?
  • I don't know if I'd leave her, but the two of you have some serious issues that will take some work from the both of you.
  • Leave her, she is more attracted to him because he is hotter than you. She is also a slut for getting drunk and having no respect for herself at a public function.
  • Yeah, she cheated! Kissing on the neck is VERY erotic! I tell you what ... take her home, kiss her gently on the neck, then look into her eyes. You will see it. Give her a 2nd chance. Don't leave her if you love her. But, make it clear, no more of this type behavior! Good luck!
  • No, what you describe is not cheating however is a baby step in that direction. No, I wouldn't suggest you leave her. I can feel your sense of betrayal, what she did was very disrespectful. It's quite normal to feel attracted to someone who is attractive and pays attention to you, but you have to draw the line to respect your marriage partner. I would say sitting together in a private conversation holding hands definitely crosses that line. Intoxicated or not it seems like the two of you should be having a conversation (not a confrontation!) about the state of your relationship. Remember all the good things that led your to marriage!
  • if u dont u will be ashamed of yourself later
  • I'd chalk it up to the alcohol. How long have you been together? If it is a short time, I would say it doesn't look good. Her behavior is inappropriate and I would tell her. If it doesn't stop, then I would think about leaving.
  • No, she didnt cheat, its only natural to feel attraction.. However, she needs to be more careful in future and less flirty... in my opinion..
  • While technically she did not cheat unless there is more to this story than you have stated, she is worse than a cheat in my opinion. She is a flirt and has no respect for you, for herself, or for the institution of marriage . Someone can be the biggest ass and most difficult partner in the history of human kind, that does not give their partner the right to go out get drunk and act as if they were single As for the answer to if you should leave her only you can answer that If you feel you can't forgive her or trust her any longer then yes go ahead and leave her Better you should leave if you feel that way than stay and resent it in the end However if you think you still love her and she can regain your trust in time by all means stay and work it out Good luck whatever you do
  • technically it is'nt cheating but it's definitely not proper behavior for a married woman. Oh boy the trust issues are definitely flying..........good luck.
  • leave before it's too late...bitch like that isn't to be trusted!
  • Did she cheat? Yes. Yes, she *chose* to drink, got drunk, flirted, AND allowed a guy to kiss her neck. Being drunk doesn't negate one's actions. If someone drinks, gets drunk, drives, and kills someone, are they responsible? YES! So logically, if someone drinks, gets drunk, meets a guy, flirts, and allows another man to kiss her *anywhere*, she IS responsible for those action, irregardless of how technically aware she is. The same rules apply for a guy/man. Being drunk does not change who a person is or how they feel. For the most part, a person won't do something drunk that they absolutely would NOT do sober. She was predisposed to do what she did, but that alcohol loosened her up and made her more receptive to it. There are clearly issues in your relationship that need to be addressed, but only you and her, and perhaps a good therapist, can figure out what they are. I suggest you find out before it's too late. Should you leave her? It seems extreme, but for me, that completely breaks down your trust in the person, and if there's any rules you should follow, it's these: If you're in a relationship, intimately or a friendship, if there isn't TRUST and RESPECT, there isn't a relationship. When one of these is broken, it's up to you to decide what you're willing to take and what it will take to fix the problem. If this is not addressed, things will only get worse, and before you know it, whether you consider yourself IN a relationship or not, you won't have one. But scant few people are objective or reasonable enough to put their feelings aside and see this. The point isn't to merely BE in a relationship, it's to be an equal partner in a HEALTHY relationship.
  • Personally, I wouldn't define that as cheating although some would I'm sure. The physical aspect of what happened wouldn't have bugged me too much, although that definitely crosses my line of harmless flirtation. But had she told me what happened and expressed her guilt, remorse, sincere apologies, and convinced me her judgement was extremely clouded by liquor at the time and was no longer herself then I could forgive that and get over it without much of a problem. But if she told me she got butterflies and was attracted to him after the fact then that would be a little disturbing to me. I doubt I'd leave her at that point, I wouldn't throw it all away without giving it a chance to be resolved and giving her a chance to see the errors in her ways. But it could definitely come to that.
  • Dude, you must not be delivering he goods if your wife gets all excited from a stranger she just met.
  • This is my first post here, so I'll try my best. Funnily enough the holding hands thing disturbs me the most, not to mention the fact that she admits she enjoyed what happened and is attracted to him. I would be on the border of leaving. As to the wifes response of 'I'm neglected' have you bothered to sit down and have an open and honest heart to heart talk with him? What you did, and for enjoying it and going along with it, is a rather large slap in the face from you for your husband in my opinion
  • I think it depends on what you classify as cheating. Its extremely rude of other people to call her names or to say that you don't please her. I myself am a loving wife and would never stray from my partner but i admit that after all these years its not as exciting anymore and the attention of another is a nice way to feel that you are still attractive, after being in a long relationship you know that you are loved but maybe feel not as desirable. explain how it has made you feel and she will realise that it was hurtful. she was honest about the situation, give her that.
  • the reality of things is that if you both loved each other intensely.. which means it almost hurts when you are away from each other.. that kind of thing wouldn't happen. if a person "slips" and falls for someone outside of the relationship (even temporarily)it means the relationship is not what it should be... which means she wouldn't flirt or "test" herself out against other men, and he wouldn't threaten divorce... she obviously wanted to feel something she hasn't felt for a while.. that's not good. drinking doesn't make a bit of difference.
  • it should be said that right now might be a good time to cash out your bank account and open your own.. because the next step is usually when one or the other partner will take it ALL and run off.. i predict this is in the works at this very moment.. funny how the patterns never change...
  • ...Strange. I agree you need to empty your accounts...and open up YOUR OWN....but also.. what kinda relationship with this chick do you have? Maybe you need to talk to her about whats goin on...how she feels, how she left you feeling...and what your gonna do about it. Were you there while this happens? "they ended up sitting togather"
  • I don't think you should leave her over that. That's not even that big of a deal anyway. Maybe you should hang out with her when she is drunk. At least your wife is honest with you. I think this is a sign that you aren't paying a lot of attention to her as well. Talk to her more. Did she cheat? IMO, no, not really. I can see how that would be considered cheating, but I don't really consider it cheating. I mean, c'mon. People hold hands in Red Rover, chain tag, and so on. She isn't the one who kissed him. He is the one who kissed her. She probably just thought he was hot and liked the attention she was getting from him. It doesn't sound like she "liked" him.
  • Oh my gosh, yes yes YES YES that is cheating!! Foreplay (kiss on neck) is CHEATING. Don't stay with her unless you can live with a cheater. She should not be playing these ridiculous games, because that is what this is. A pathetic mind game.
  • it's amazing..what brand of alcohol out there not only makes people do things outside of reason yet still keeps them full cognizent of them, and then alleviates all guilt by being the cause of the infidelity? When will people ever stop using the "I didn't mean to I was drunk" excuse? I've been drunk, but never so drunk to totally forget my s/o and think it was ok to flirt or hookup with another person. But we've all heard the excuse and it must be pretty common, I mean there's actually an "intoxicated cheating" section here on SS...how pathetic. As some have already stated here, if this person REALLY loved you this would not have happened. Maybe she does love you but not enough to control herself...which brings up the question does she really think you are the ONLY one for her? As far as if this is cheating or not, well in my opinion, if it's something she wouldn't do in front of you then yeah it's cheating and I doubt she would sit in front of you and hold hands and let another guy kiss her neck etc. But the real question is do YOU consider it cheating. Is this a blemish or a scar on your relationship? Will you trust her to go out and do things without wondering who or what she might be doing? Are you willing to blow it off as an error in judgement and let it go, forgiven...forgotten...because if not then the relationship is already over.
  • Maybe this is her way of telling you she would like a "threesome"?
  • The fact that she told you he gave her butterflies means she either extremely insensitive to your feelings or she's trying to make you jealous. If it's the first case scenario then you're better off without her. And if she's just insecure and wants you to fight for her tell her how enraged you were about the whole ordeal and she'll be suitably impressed by your manly devotion.
  • well dude...she should have been the one to say "stop". We each have a morale compass and humans know the difference between right and wrong. It was a new feeling for her and it felt good to her. Some guys have no respect for married women. She should have been the one to say no this isnt right. Some guys are just blantant pigs and only think about their units. Although there are recent studies about women who are within range of ovulation that are more susceptiple to cheating. I was reading this a few months ago. Maybe she was ovaulating.
  • No, you shouldn't leave her, you should figure out how that guy have her butterflies and then do it yourself. Pay attention to her dude. This is the first subtle statement from her that she requires something (attention, passion, etc) from you. Figure out what it is and give it to her. Next time it wont stop at kissing on the neck and then you are proper fucked. Address her issues now. She is telling you something.
  • If you have an otherwise good relationship, try to work it out. If the relationship was on the skids anyway, kick her to the curb on move on.
  • if your married, have a boyfriend or girlfriend, & they love you, they should not even flirt with anyone else but you! if they flirt, kiss, & have butterflies for someone else thats just horrible & makes you feel like crap! if it was me id leave the person! im not telling you to, but come on, how do you honestly feel now shes done that?
  • Sounds likes she wants you to leave to make it easier on her. Way to many details.
  • Did she cheat? Yes Should you leave her? Probably..because if you don't she will leave you and soon. There is a huge problem here on a couple of levels. One possible is..if you were with your wife..what gives with you watching her do foreplay with a stranger? There are a lot of details that could be filled in but my gut says, run.. don't walk..away.
  • It's the gray area and it is a FORM of cheating. It's a sign there is something wrong with your marriage and you better find out quick what it and fix it. It may be you, it may be her, it may be outside influences like her girlfriends or a TV show or who knows what. But you guys need to sit down and talk honestly and work harder at your marriage to make it work. It sounds like she needs to be reminded of the days when you guys were dating. She needs romance. Take her out on a date. Give her a massage with oils and candles in the room with her favorite music. Seduce her, make her feel like a sexy woman.
  • Put an investigator on it for the divorce court hearing that is coming. She is probably making it sound smaller than it is. This guy is probably her main guy and she is leaking it to you gently. Gather evidence. Online, cell phone..however.
  • no you shouldn't leave her why not ask her if she would like to have a mfm and see what she says

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