by Angela Tyszka on July 20th, 2005

Angela Tyszka

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How can I get my boyfriend to try bondage without him thinking I'm a freak?

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Answers. 14 helpful answers below.

  • by KCTrey on July 22nd, 2005

    KCTrey

    That's a tough one.

    The easy answer is to say, "Just talk to him openly about it. If your relationship is strong, you should be able to be open without worrying about what he might think."

    I put that here, because I know it's what you are supposed to say...I'm not sure it applies here :)

    Here are some suggestions:

    -Try finding a movie with a bondage scene in it (not porn). When the scene comes on, make a comment like, "Hey, that looks like fun," or something like that.

    -Have him tie you up. It's a lot easier to mention it to him once he has done it to you. Just mention that it might be fun the other way around.

    -Try to get into a "What are your sexual fantasies" discussion with him. You don't have to admit that dominating is one of yours (unless you want to), but that conversation always seems to end up with with the "What do you think about [insert sex act here]" question. It would be a good time to ask.

    No matter what you do to bring it up, he probably won't think you are a freak. Unless he has some religious or moral objection to it, which you should know by now, he'll probably be VERY open to it.

    Most of the guys I know would love it if their girlfriends suggested things like this. Who knows, once you figure ut how to bring this up, you might find that he has some "freaky" ideas as well.

    Good luck...

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  • by Anonymous on February 28th, 2006

    Anonymous

    I'd start simple- introduce something like a pair of hancuffs to the bedroom- perhaps buy them as a semi-jokey present for him (most sex shops sell the safety-catch variety- you can even get them in gift shops), and next time you're getting fruity suggest that he uses them on you/ you use them on him (whichever you prefer). Its harmless and fairly innocuous not-too-kinky fun, but suggestive of more full on bondage. If you prefer, you could get hold of some bondage tape and get inventive (more comfortable to use) or improvise with some scarves and stockings. Few guys will throw a strop about it- if he seems to be enjoying it (or at least not minding it), add a blindfold, then you can start to step things up a gear and make slightly more extreme suggestions until you either get exactly what you want or you reach his shock limit. Porn can be a good tool here in a "hey, why don't we try that?" kind of way.
    Make sure you still have "normal" sex with him occasionally too, so he knows that you're still satisfied by him no-frill, so to speak.

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  • by Anonymous on January 12th, 2006

    Anonymous

    First of all, as difficult as this might sound, try not to worry about what he thinks about you since that IS who you are sexually. Sexuality and the expression of our sexuality come right from the core of our identity. That is why it is so worrysome for you because that is who you are.
    Hide some scarves or old nylons between the matresses and keep them there until the two of you are naked in bed together. When things get hot and wet, you will have to become playfully aggressive with him like, climbing on top of him, sitting on him and pushing him back down into the mattress in a playful way. Pull out a scarf and run it around his face, his &*ck and continue to be aggressive and playful. Push him back against the mattress and tell him to trust you... and kiss him so that he feels non-threatened in the playing. Tell him you're going to make him feel soooooo good... and continue playing while you begin tying him up.
    Once the deed is done and you have him where you want him...
    Make him feel soooooo good!
    There will have to be a "payoff" for him so that he feels satisfied so that he will want you to do it again. You have to make him cum while he is tied up the first time or he will likely never equate the whole thing as being a worthwhile experience. Even if that means you don't cum that time. You can just tell him that it turned you on so much to tie him up and make him cum without you needing to cum. THAT will be hot for him, in itself.
    Good Luck!
    and .........................Have a blast! ; )

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  • by Phil wonders where everyone is??? on November 20th, 2006

    Phil wonders where everyone is???

    I had started my wife 8 years ago with her just wiggling around too much during warm-up so I said to her that I would tie her wrists to the bedposts with scarves if she could'nt keep still.
    Bedposts, tickling her and telling her to "be still!' just made her hotter as she squirmed more wildly so we advanced to better restraints. over the years her ankles became restrained as well and candles came into play. just take it slow and see if he/she wants to submit and be pleased and discover deeper satisfaction with a partner she can trust on the deepest level, if it does'nt feel good- choose a word that means "stop" with no question as to why and then discuss the discomfort, often just some fine-tuning. Have Fun!

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  • by Jezabel on April 25th, 2008

    Jezabel

    I think you should show up with a latex dress and some sexy fishnet stockings and seduce him. He won't be able to say no.

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  • by Gigglez on October 13th, 2007

    Gigglez

    Girl just tell him straight out then the ball is in his court. You might be suprised on what he says....=D

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  • by Hairwatcher on October 13th, 2007

    Hairwatcher

    Are you wanting to apply the bondage to him, or have it done to you?

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  • by eternal0void on December 13th, 2006

    eternal0void

    Ask him?

    Provided you aren't tying *him* up, of course.

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  • by Beege69 on August 29th, 2006

    Beege69

    I mentioned to my lady and she jumped at the chance. She tied me up with scarfs and then a bow on my penis. She then tickled me everywhere with a feather. She seemed to have it all planned. I suspect she had fantasized about it and had it all worked out, waiting for her chance. It is my turn next, I have a mask, some silken rope and some handcuffs. Soon baby, here I come.

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  • by Anonymous on August 2nd, 2006

    Anonymous

    take him on a fun day trip to adult toy store ask him to pick something out for fun..tell him to use his imagination and fill you in on what he is thinkin
    or use a magazine and look at pics , etc...

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  • by yoman on October 13th, 2007

    yoman

    Talk to him, then start slow, start with a scarf in a hand cuff like device, then go to real cuffs, but remeber to ask how he liked it later, if hes uncomfortable ask him what he did like. if he likes it all keep going until you get to the restraint you want to or until he is uncomfortable

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  • by Anonymous on October 9th, 2007

    Anonymous

    Tell him you want to try something new! Tie him up and blindfold him. Have a mint in your mouth and go down on him!

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  • by CleverlyPut on December 2nd, 2006

    CleverlyPut

    Tell him to choke you first, then hold your hands above your head, behind your back, ask for cuffs, tell him to spank you...

    If he hasn't figured it out by then he's probably not into that.

    If this doesn't work send me an e-mail I'll tie you up and throw in closet until my wife leaves.

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  • by Mspleasure on February 7th, 2012

    Mspleasure

    Show him this site... Might change his mind when he see's ALOT of other's into it :)

    http://www.alt.com/go/g1353563

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