There are quite a few opinions in the world about this subject. My best suggestion would be to read about the subject - but read a variety of material, so as to form a balanced and informed opinion of your own. I've been both a sibling and an only child - my brothers and I were seperated when I was 8. So I know both worlds. One big plus to being an only child is no hand me downs :-). On the downside, it can get really lonely if you don't have a strong relationship with your parent and/or supportive social network with other kids. So, on the one hand, it's just you! On the other hand, it's just you. It's one of those things that you can't be sure how it's gonna turn out exactly. So many factors can play a roll, and who knows which factor will end up being the most influencial. Here's a link to an article in Canadian Parents you might find interesting: http://www.canadianparents.ca/CPO/FamilyRoom/ParentingGeneral/2004/08/10/592040.html It was fairly easy to find this on google - maybe try other search engines and see what else comes up. Hope this helps...

I was practically raised as an only child, though I actually have 7 half siblings. They were all much older than me and out of the house, though, so I rarely saw them growing up. Only children can benefit from having more resources and personal attention available to them. In a poorer family, that might mean being able to go to a better school or going to summer camp, or even just knowing that there's enough food to go around. Their parents might also be less stressed not having another mouth to feed (or listen to screaming). On the other hand, it is nice to have siblings to play with and share experiences with. Friends are nice, but they aren't the same as a close sibling bond. And sometimes, it's better not to be the center of attention or too spoiled.

i'm an only child and i would love to have brothers or sisters but that just wasnt possible. but all credit to my mum she made sure i was always in some sort of club and had friends over to play or something so that i didnt feel lonely and i think that important!

Well, this is just an opinion, which is kind of educated because I have an only child: First of all a person who have siblings or half-siblings, but was raised alone, doesn't count 100% as an only child. Being an only child is in a huge part a psychological thing that makes the person aware that his/her parents are not even worried / thinking about other childs....even if they are living in a different place. The pros nowadays are mostly economic (having more resources directed to only one, instead of spliting the money), and time-wise with the parents (parents have more time / chances to be present at important moments, spent more time and focus their attention on only one). They usually develop their imagination and creativity extensively due to their need to play alone and spend their time without a companion. The cons are usually related with an egocentric development, a no-share attitude and sometimes a stingy personality. Only childs tend to think (because of the extra focus and over-attention) that they are extra important and they deserve a lot, all of these because the usual spoiling parents conduct on only childs. Another important con is loneliness, solitude and boredom. Is very important to make only childs to spend time with their cousins, and make them have friends as early as possible. A parent of an only child needs to spend more time playing with his/her boy or girl than a regular parent. Also, consider that when time goes on certain things about siblings are very important: emotional support, sharing financial responsibilities related to old parents, kids having uncles or aunts. These are probably the most important aspects. There is a lot to read on the subject. Good question!!

As the oldest of 3 girls in 5 years I have to say we fought like cats and dogs. My mother and paternal grandmother were only children. For 15 years of my life all I heard was "If I would have had a brother or sister I would have never treated them like you three treat each other." When the youngest turned 16 we all became best friends. I cannot imagine life without them and we are now in our 50's and rarely does my mother have to mediate. I think more is usually better.

As an only child, I think that the pros far outweigh the cons. When I was very young I always wanted a sibling, but as I got older I got over it and I really appreciate it now. I wouldn't have it any other way. Only children benefit economically, mentally, and socially. Being an only child and having to move a lot, I was forced to be outgoing because this was the only way I would make friends. I consider myself to be very outgoing with a good self-image that was fostered by my parents' undivided support and attention. These kids are forced to entertain themselves a lot because they don't have a built-in playmate, and that can make them more creative than most kids. Personally, I was never bored or lonely as a kid or as an adult, and my only children friends say the same thing. I consider myself to be very independent. I enjoy doing things on my own and I'm comfortable being alone. Cons: There really aren't that many unless the child is in an unhealthy, unsupportive family situation, and in that case it doesn't matter if there are siblings are not. It's very easy to spoil an only child, but the parent just has to make sure they appreciate what they have and don't have a sense of entitlement. From http://utopia.utexas.edu/articles/opa/only_children.html - "Only children have higher self-esteem than others. Positive attention from parents helps children develop and maintain a positive view of themselves. Only children have an advantage here in that they receive more attention from their parents than children from larger families. This positive attention does not spoil children, but rather allows parents to monitor their children and take corrective action when needed. Only children achieve more than others. Because the parents of only children have more time and other resources to devote toward their child's development, only children tend to do better in school and complete more years of education than others. Consequently, only children later tend to have more prestigious occupations than others."

For most people in the world with scare resources, more than one child will have a big enough negative impact where only one is good, more is not. Now, back in the U.S.A. it is not a big factor for more than one child. This is one of those questions that can be answered by the opposing question. Since parents love each child the same whether one or ten, it would seem that they would learn the same stuff. But this is not true as you examine families with more than one. You need only to look around you in your family to the extent of single child family and others with more. No big web search and studies is needed. You will see that the more children in a family, the diversity of personality and behavior becomes more and more extreme. Families with six or more children will show a great difference when you compare the two extremes when grown up. This is not caused by parents showing favoritism. If you do a exhaustive search, you will find families of six or more who are all grown up to be doctors, concert pianist and similar personalities, but this is very rare and cannot be attributed to parents showing no favoritism because that would imply that most parents with large families are not loving there kids equally witch is not true. Since we see almost all large families yield a variety of grownups, having more siblings is not a factor at all. The only benefit a single child can get is a better opportunity if resources are scarce enough to threaten basic needs.

Pros: Lots more attention from your parents Lots more presents from your parents Play one parent off against the other and you get even more attention and presents More room in your bedroom Cons: Lonelyness (you want to play but the adults don't) You don't feel like you can talk to them properly beacause the don't know what it's like to be a kid! You don't get halp from bullies at school It's harder to keep friends because you're not used to sharing No one to have late night chats with No mates of your siblings to hang out with/fancy the pants off Can whoever downrated me please explain why they did so?

I have two sisters, and although we may always argue and squabble, i love them and wouldn't see life any other way. Next year both of my sisters will be away from home at uni, and although they come down every second weekend, i'm going to be pretty lonely. Many of my friends are an only child, and i can see a difference in not only their family situation, but also the way they are in life. It's not always in a bad way, but i can see a difference in personality between an only child and a child with siblings. Just one word of advice: If you are an only child and you marry another only child, your kids will have no cousins, aunties or uncles.

Hi there Thanks for your reply, what you are saying is indeed true, but unfortunately these ARE my experiences of being an only child and more relevant to when I grew up. My childhood, although strict, was excellent. Full of fun and good memories. These I will always cherish, as I had what a lot of other kids in the neighbourhood could only dream of. So in that respect, I guess that was the Pros. My Cons, came when I grew up into adulthood, and as mentioned above are still going on to this day. Every only child's experience is different, and I think it's important to see it from each ones point of view. Above is my experiences in present day and, yes, they are full of bounderies and restrictions, and most of the time I do feel like a caged bird. Perhaps there is someone who can relate to my experiences ? Love to hear from you.

I was an only child, and spent all my childhood wishing for a sibling. Even at a very young age, I decided that if I had kids, it would be more than one, as I had felt very lonely whilst growing up. I did have lots of friends, but most had siblings, and I always felt they had a special bond and loyalty that most childhood friendships do not have. As a child, I felt a sibling would mean someone to play with, someone who understood what it was like in your family. As an adult with 2 kids now, I realise that this most likely would have meant someone to argue with over toys! But even that I think has value in it - I think you are better able to negotiate for things if you have had to grow up sharing all your life, you learn to fight, but in a good way. I find it difficult to stand up for myself now, and I think that is because I didn't have to do it as a child. I also think I didn't want to upset my friends and risk losing them, and therefore be lonely, so I became placating, whereas if you have siblings, I think they are on the whole there for you, so you are not as reliant on friends and keen to be liked, and so you speak your mind more. I must say, I am unusual wishing I had siblings, because every other only child I have known has thought it was brilliant to be the only one, and have all the presents at Xmas, and all the toys are yours to play with, but that is not my opinion.

Yes, I know a number of people who where "the only child." The pro's of been an only child is that far greater attention and affection is focused on the child. Often the child will receive more at each birthday party; the amount of time spent is far greater. If the parents either could not have any more children or the only child was a "miracle" birth, then the parents will proudly "show" the child off. The down side is the child has no brothers or sisters to play with. Children tend to learn from each other social skills, behaviour patterns and even share silly things like the "birds and the bee's" and "doctors and nurses" Also the child is in the world of an adult almost 100% of the time. I'm guessing that, that would become rather boring after a while. Children need companionship from persons their own age. I would think so "only child's" would live a lonely life and withdraw into their own world creating friends to play with. Hope that answers your question

i am still a teenager hehe but i wasnt an only child but an only child would be board althoug they would get alot of atention and so i think it would be bad for an only child :)

I'm an only child, and I would say the pros and cons are relative to individual family situations. Loving parents don't have to split their love and attention if there is an only child. This can result in great self-esteem, accelerated learning, and the ability to relate to grownups much sooner. The process of buying things for the child is easier since it's only one to provide for. This can include almost anything, startup bank accounts and spending money, clothes, trips, using the family car and lots of sleepovers just to name a few. I might add getting a babysitter isn't a big issue either; most friends and family will agree to watch one child for a few hours. Even in a poorer family only children benefit. For instance, at least they don't have to share the last piece of cake :) It seems that having multiple siblings takes away some of the benefits of only children, but everyone still has to deal with whatever cons exist. For instance, everyone gets lonely sometimes; it's not exclusive to only children. Younger only children are usually ok with the arrangement, it's outside comments that may suggest there's something an only child is missing . The only con for me is being the only one who's expected to do for my parents. However, this happens in larger families too, where there is one sibling who takes on the responsibilty of caring for their parent's needs. Sorry to be so long-winded. If you plan to have only one child, just give them all the love you can, and they usually turn out ok.

A pro is that u will have less sibling fights. But I'm an only child and it can get very lonely. And cause emotional problems. If u have a only child just make sure you include him/her in your daily activities. Or have the child join in after school programs or summer camp so that they can socialize with other people and make friends.

As a single mother (divorced when my son was age 2), I had no choice about having more kids. I did not want to go "solo" for a second child. My son has a great imagination; long term friendships; high self-esteem; and is never bored. He has never commented about wishing he had siblings. He has opportunities to have time w/friends weekdays and weekends. He has friends at both parent's houses (dad is about 1.5 hours away). He is now 10. I always curbed the video games/TV so he has interesting hobbies (especially Legos). He has good opinions and is able to back them up with reasoning/logic. He struggles at times w/school work and is able to get 1:1 time from me for school, leisure, and travel. I always thought I'd have 2 kids, but my one boy has been the light of my life!

Pro-Many only children are smart Con-Many only children can be spoiled or bratty

A lot of people have placed only children as being better because: econmically they are better off. They receive more attention. They feel more secure. Et al. I disagree. I have an older brother and an older half-brother. Apart from my wife they are the only people who truly know me - everything about me that not even my parents know. I can speak with them when I can speak with no-one else. I know I will get a fair hearing and sound advice without judgement (at least after the ribbing). They are more than a friend could ever be, because however naughty I was when I was younger, I knew instinctively that I had someone who loved me unconditionally and with whom I could fight and scream but who would still be there at the end. When I had a blazing row with my parents I moved in with my half-brother. He spoke with me, he spoke with them, and we came together again. Without him I don't know where I would be. Because of my brothers I have a wonderful, colourful family from all over the world, and am now in a position where I can repay them with advice of my own. How much richer could I be by having no siblings? I would be immeasureably poorer, my friend.

Im an only child, and one of the negative sides is that my mum and dad gang up on me sometimes, i feel as though, if i had a brother or sister, they might be on my side, and understand my way of thinking. Its hard because, adults seem to think differently to me, and therefore my ideas sometimes arnt taken seriously, as are my problems. Its important to have someone to talk to when your lonely, or need advice, and thats difficult because you always expect adults to judge you and think your stupid. I wish i ahd a sibling at those times. i get very frustrated and wish i just had someone to moan to!!

I am a 45 year old only child who is not married. Growing up, I always got the "you're spoiled" comments. My parents instilled values and morals in me, and I was never lavished with gifts, clothing, and new cars. I am very independent and although I enjoy being with friends, I am very content to be alone. Unfortunately, many don't realize the downside of being an only child as an adult. My father passed away 9 years ago, and my mother has been diagnosed with terminal cancer with an expected life span of maybe 3 months. It is difficult to imagine life without them and to have sibling support group for the grief.

It's great to have all your stuff to your own, but there are a lot of lonely downtime.

I was an only child for eight great years until my sister came along. I was never lonely...I *liked* time to myself to read or play alone. I would see my cousins closer in age to me once in a while but did not really "long" for a sibling...when my mom asked me if I wanted a brother oir sister, I told her I wanted an OLDER BROTHER, lol, or nothing...because an older brother could teach me how to play baseball and stuff. My sister was a different generation than I was...too young to play with, she ruined my vintage Barbie dolls and Dawn dolls by chewing on them when she was young...basically, she ruined my only child happy, shiny, star of all the grandparents' eyes existance. I have one child now and am considering one more...as long as they are MUCH closer in age than my sister was to me. The major consideration for me is that I do not want all the pressure of being GREAT on one kid...from us & the grandparents...also someone to share the burden of "us" in our old age...so that one adult child does not have to bear the burden of all the decisionmaking and eldercare. The bonus of only having one child would be that we could afford to send her to private school...that would probably be out of the question if we had another. Although both of us did fine in public schools, we have the perception that public schooling has declined since we were younger; we may be wrong about that though. Still undecided, Elisssabeth