Whatever happen to manners ? Gone ? outdated ? useless ?

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• the hippies were unsuccessful, because they went from one extrem to the other.
  manners is so 50's?
  really?
  I am around people with manners all the time. even a punk turns polite when they are around me. i think if we are polite and well mannered, the rest of the people sort of straighten up and many times are well mannered, too.
  you don't think manners are necessary to make a society function better? back to cavemen grunts and shoves?

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  by Shunyata on October 24th, 2010

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• how so?

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  by Shunyata on October 29th, 2010

• They rejected chivalry as a vestige of "the patriarchy", and insist that men and women must be treated equally, that women are no less capable than men, that they can open their own doors, stand just like men can, etc. So, men said "fine", you get exactly what I give a man - common courtesy but not preferential treatment anymore.

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  by Vazzini on October 29th, 2010

• V now I understand. I still treat women with utter respect and good manners, and they love it.

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  by Shunyata on October 29th, 2010

• Sure. Feminism has had an impact on society but few women identify as feminists anymore. They went way overboard.

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  by Vazzini on October 30th, 2010

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• To sum it up.....they are too lazy or self centered to even care. To think that they look at their kids as they are no different from their friends won't hurt! B.S.!! More harm than help to the matter, just look around and it shows, everywhere.

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  by Rikkamortis on October 24th, 2010

• the problem started in the 60's when it was suddenly " out" to actually discipline children. suddenly that meant " suppression". I was stunned picking up my daughter from friend's house where the kids were alowed to eat food with their fingers, where they were allowed to smear walls with colors or even food, where they were allowed to use crayons on doors. it was called " not inhibiting childrens' creativity". creativity my hat. My kids were creative playing in the woods building shed etc, but when it came to eating at the table manners were requested.
  parents raised without authority raised little animals themselves, who are now adults who think the government owes them a living and who protest working.

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  by Shunyata on October 24th, 2010

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• well, i would be curious as to your actual answer to my actual question. But it is ok. I thought you are also old school as I am, liking manners? no?

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  by Shunyata on October 24th, 2010

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• wow what a thoughtful answer. thanks. I totally agree.

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  by Shunyata on October 24th, 2010

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• Why?? It may just make you happier in life than you already are, if you are that is. If not, well.... think about why you're not.

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  by Rikkamortis on October 24th, 2010

• yes rikk.
  
  anonymous, you serious?
  You find it awkward to be polite in public?

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  by Shunyata on October 24th, 2010

• @Rikkamortis: Because I have a really quiet public voice. I feel like no one can hear me anyway. When I started taking the bus a lot, I noticed a lot of people would just go on and not say anything to the bus driver. I started viewing that as normal.
  
  @shunyata: Well, my icon does not say "BULLSHIT FREE ZONE" for nothing! Yes, I am absolutely serious. I find it awkward to be polite when it seems like the majority of other people aren't. It doesn't feel 'natural'. I do say "Thank you" when someone opens the door for me, and I try to say "Thank you" when I get off the bus. It works up so much courage to say, though. Like I said earlier, I have a really quiet public voice and I feel like people don't hear me anyway.

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  by AnonymousGirl on October 24th, 2010

• anonymous, now I understand better.
  thank you for clarifying.
  I thrive in politeness, helpfulness, friendliness, smiles.
  I love to go through life making a grumpy person smile by being respecting and kind. Not overly, mind you.
  the world cannot be a better place sweetheart, when we say " they all are unfriendly so I will be ,too.
  yesterday I arrived in detroit ( on the way through to my next flight) and I noticed the energy. The energy was saturated with " stoic, and unfriendly". the girl at the bagel counter cash register
  did not look at me, but down, like I am not there. so i finally said " May I have a lox bagel". she mumbled " anything else". I said " a cup pf coffee please". she said nothing more. I said " thank you" and walked along the counter to the next girl....
  she did not even look at me.
  so I sat at the bar befuddled... Next to me sat a girl obviously on her break. I asked her "Do you get checked at security every time coming to work?" she said " yeah, like a terrorist" then after a while she said " i think your bagel is ready over there" I said " hm? no one called out". she said, "oh well they must have forgotten".
  the more I spoke with her the friendlier she was. she said a lot of people are in fear mixed with anger. no work, 3 jobs, and still not enough money for rent. she said she was looking for more jobs all the time " anything".
  Ok I am telling you this story, because I UNDERSTAND people are not stoic, or unfriendly for nothing. they are in pain or fear, or something else happening. I don't take it on. I say little friendly stuff, and many times people then smile. if they turn away, no harm done. I feel when we are friendly, we make the world a better place. if we don't we pitch right into the misery and turn miserable too. I know all people want to be loved.

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  by Shunyata on October 24th, 2010

• You're welcome. I should clarify, though. I meant I try to say "Thank you" when I get off the front of the bus. Anyway...thank you for sharing that story. It is definitely helpful. Perhaps people who aren't polite when they could be aren't for the same reason as me. It just seems odd to suddenly change one day out of nowhere.

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  by AnonymousGirl on October 24th, 2010

• Yes, that does explain your original comment/post. I am also a quiet or low keyed type of person, but on the other hand (me being a Gemini, I guess) I come out of my shell and try to make my life and others around me more enjoyable through humor, laughter or just plain ole friendliness. I feel life is way too short for all the chaotic b.s. and drama that consumes the lives of pretty much society as a whole. They say that one man/woman can make a difference. Well, why not let that ONE be you. It may start a snowball effect and before you know it, hopefully the world around you will be a better place. Like I'm sure it was at one time or another. : )
  OK, I feel I'm drifting off topic. So, with that said, I'll leave you with a little quote here.
  ps. Have a nice day : )
  
  "Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if
  they were going to be dead by midnight.
  Extend to them all the care, kindness, and
  understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward.
  Your life will never be the same again."
  Og Mandino

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  by Rikkamortis on October 24th, 2010

• You are quite a thoughtful person, Rikkamortis. Thank you for that comment. It gave me something to think about.

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  by AnonymousGirl on October 24th, 2010

• See its working already.... made me smile ; )

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  by Rikkamortis on October 24th, 2010

• Rikk right on right on.
  My dad used to say, ' part from all as if it is the last time you see them, NEVER leave in anger'.
  I really get that, because sometimes I lose a friend or aquaintance through death, and I think of the last time I saw them, that moment of departure.

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  by Shunyata on October 24th, 2010

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• taught by parents,teachers, adults, role models

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  by Shunyata on October 24th, 2010