by SOZbabs on August 27th, 2010

SOZbabs

Question

Help answer this question below.

I need advice on a very difficult situation and relationship.

I left my boyfriend of 2 years to be with this guy who told me he wanted me, I got pregnant by him shortly after but couldnt bring myself to tell him. 3 weeks after we were officially together he just stopped talking to me, walked by me in college everyday acting like he couldnt see me. After two months of heartache being pregnant and trying to talk to him about the situation a friend of his beat me up, and i miscarried. I told him of the miscarry and he seemed concerned for the first few days but then started ignoring me again. Later on this year i have been told there was so much trauma to my cervix, i wont be able to carry children again. He knows all this and still he turns a blind eye. I care for him dearly, as my feelings towards him were very real and true. Ive lost so much, i need him to help me through this right now. What do i do?

Answers. 11 helpful answers below.

  • by kento37 on August 27th, 2010

    kento37

    Know this........ For every adversity there is an equal or greater equivalent. Which is to say..... What ever happened to you that was a negative thing, an equal or greater positive thing will come your way. Know that and have faith in it.
    Put your thoughts to your studies and excell in that. Be the very best you can BE. Some guy will come along that will be your ideal, and at that time your losses won't seem so great.
    Do this, not that I did it, but it works. Write down exactly what you want in a person. His personality and looks. His interests are joined with yours, what are they. What you both want out of life and the relationship. That the thing you want and he wants is to communicate all problems out for the survival of the relationship, not for the one individual. That he is your best friend. That he is for you and your survival, and you for his. That he would rather be with you, and you with him, more than anything else. Picture these things in your mind and know that it is true. It is because that is what you want. And know that he wants it too.

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by lurvedoctor on August 27th, 2010

    lurvedoctor

    Babe. Unfortunately youve learned some tough life lessons very close together & while still very young.
    Firstly your health is the most important thing in this sad state of affairs. See a doctor & make sure that you are OK & if possible try to make sure that you can concieve again.
    Its important to have some support through all this - tell your parent(s) or someone mature you can confide in & trust.
    Report the beating to the Police.
    It doesnt sound like the guys in this situation are interested either, my advice would be to forget them & move on - realistically your B/F is giving you big hints that hes not, he sounds very imature too.
    Chalk it up to experience & be more selective in future.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by moonkicker on August 27th, 2010

    moonkicker

    Dump the jerk and his abusive friend. File charges for your attack. See to your health and education.

    You may think you love him because you went to bed with him and got pregnant, but if he figured out you were pregnant from when you tried to talk to him, he may have asked his friend to hit you so you would miscarry. The very thought is sickening, but some guys will do anything to keep from having to pay child support. He obviously does not care for you; he was not there after the beating, he ignores you on a daily basis. You were a conquest, nothing more.

    Think, really think about what you want in life, why you are at college, and where you will go from here.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by sexkittencupcake on September 2nd, 2010

    sexkittencupcake

    This guy is a complete ass, you are lucky you found out now. Forget about him, get professional help to deal with your trauma, then find a better guy. You can eventually adopt a baby. Or who knows, maybe in time your body will repair itself.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Pith-y on September 4th, 2010

    Pith-y

    Have you ever stopped to wonder if this guy's friend beat you up with the express intent of making you miscarry?

    And that he did so at the request of this man you are still trying to keep in your life? Why else would the "friend" have such a violent beef with you?

    He likely acted "concerned" because he is. Concerned that you don't put two and two together and link him to the criminal assault that cost you your pregnancy and fertility.

    You say you have lost so much and you have. But you could lose even more if you stick around seeking comfort from the person most likely to be behind your loses.

    Run.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by SOZbabs on August 27th, 2010

    SOZbabs

    Thank you everyone, youre all very helpful and nice.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by level headed on August 27th, 2010

    level headed

    First, I would file charges for the beating. If you really can't carry again he took more from you than just your heart. There isn't anything you can do about his feelings towards you. Unfortunately some guys will tell a girl anything just to get them in bed. A hard lesson to learn but one you'll never forget.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by suicide123 on August 27th, 2010

    suicide123

    You should tell him how you feel, if he doesn't want you I think you should go back to your previous boyfriend.

  • by aiar on August 27th, 2010

    aiar

    obviously he's just a taker, i would discard every memory and start anew again (not with him, it's tough but can be done - goodluck)

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Gingerminx on August 27th, 2010

    Gingerminx

    You turn to your family and loved ones and friends or seek help from organisations like life line. This man, and I use the term loosely, has made it very clear he will not be there for you nor support you through this.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by canonlytry on August 27th, 2010

    canonlytry

    I'm finding it incredibly hard to fathom why you were bashed.
    That is beyond hateful. Why would his friend do that?
    You have been through something horrific and I would press charges.
    Besides that I feel you need to put more value on yourself, this BOY you liked is ignorant and heartless.

    Set your sights higher...finish college.

    You don't need him. Yes, it hurts but you don't need him.

    If this ex boyfriend is still friends with the BOY who bashed you, then I'm afraid that speaks volumes.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

Want to attach an image to your answer? Click here.

Did this answer your question? If not, then ask a new question or create a poll.

You're reading I need advice on a very difficult situation and relationship.

Follow us on Facebook!

Related Ads

ANSWERBAG BUZZ

How to shut off emotion
In difficult situation and what my feeling