Why do some heterosexual men seem to be homophobic towards gay men but not to gay women? In fact some men find lesbians a turn on, why is this?
by 
Daydreamer
ANSWERS: 16
-
Because straight men are interested in the same thing lesbians are. But not the same thing gay males are. Sex with women is so great, that even women enjoy sex with women. "Dayummmm she turns me on, in fact she's so sexy she turns women on." Sex with men is of no interest whatsoever. "Sex with men must not be so great, cause my wife don't enjoy havin it with me." Straight men are turned on by lesbian activity between women who individually also turn him on. Interest lessens when the two women are ,...um...'average.' Even less when they are below average. That is to say neither alone would interest him. Many years ago I knew a guy whose wife was somewhere between average and excellent, they had a sudden surprising break up. Eventually it came out that he had that fantasy of his wife being with another woman and it finally happened. The split was not due to his wife suddenly turning lesbian, as she didn't, or to her enjoyment of it, which she did. In fact he said he would have enjoyed her enjoyment, if it had not been with a woman who he said "was built like a linebacker."
-
I think mainly because there is a pressure in masculine circles to be "macho" - and obviously being gay is seen as the opposite of that (they haven't met some of my friends!) For a lot of heterosexual men, being thought to have homosexual tendencies would damage their standing in the macho community. The best way to prove that they aren't in the slightest bit gay at all is to act in a homophobic manner- his friends then think "Well, he hates gays, so he can't be one." (ever heard of denial guys...). Obviously this problem doesn't really exist in the case of lesbians. A word about the whole lesbian turn-on thing: Men do not find real lesbians a turn-on. Trust me, those "lesbian" porn dvds are ridiculous and totally unrelated to anything real girls do when they get together. Essentially its just because its porn and its a sexual visual stimuli involving supposedly attractive women. In fact, as an ex-boyfriend of mine put it when I asked him about the phenomenon: "Its two women, orgasming, together!!!"
-
Some analysts believe that men are commonly aroused by seeing two or more women together sexually because psychologically and unconsciously (or consciously) this suggests to the man that he may have a chance/opportunity to be with those 2+ women. For many (not all) men, being with more than one woman at the same time sexually is self-suggesting that the man is more sexually adept, or macho, or attractive, etc. Basically, it is a male ego booster. What is interesting is the number of men who are generally homophobic toward sexuality and other men, BUT who find it a turn-on for them and other men to be with one woman at the same time. But that's another answer...
-
1. Women sometimes perpetrate homophobia in men by using suggestions of homosexuality as a way of criticising their male partners, e.g. "You'd rather hang out with your buddy friends than go out with me, you must be gay..." or "He's so worried about his looks, he must be gay." This can give rise to irrational fears in heterosexual men of being perceived as 'homosexual' or even being associated with homosexual men. 2. Insecure heterosexual men are more afraid of homosexual men than those who are sexually confident. This is because they define themselves by who they are not, and who they dislike, rather than who they are. 3. Heterosexual men find lesbianism a turn-on because of the 'harem mentality' - ie - the fantasy that women have sex with each other because they lack a man. 4. Homophobia is generally more aimed at men rather than women, because historically religions mainly persecuted homosexual men. They ignored women.
-
When a straight man is revolted by Gay men I think it has it roots in sexism. They feel that it is unmanly for a man to want another man,,so view Gay men as inferior,, ( much the same way they would women in general)
-
Men like lesbians for 3 reasons: 1. It is like watching sex have sex. 2. They like to imagine all the different ways they could fit into the situation. 3. They like to think that women enjoy sex so much that, lacking a man, they will turn on each other.
-
is why is cause guys are insecure about there man hood and two women is a dream for alomost every man and im bi and my husband likes it and his uncle is gay and cant stand it at all so . there ya go
-
This is what we call being Sexist (sex discrimination).
-
I just think guys are perv.'s a lot of the times and two naked chicks getting it on turns them on where as two naked dudes getting it on grosses them out because they couldn't picture ever being with another guy it's not masculine to them and guys are all tuff or try to be. I think that its kinda hypocritical to be all for lesbians/bisexual females, but not agree with gay men.
-
Come on its so hot to watch two women getting down and dirty. But two dudes? Gross! I think homophobia is more due to being secure in your own sexuality. dudes are always having issues when it comes to "am I man enough". Gays add a lot to that in that they symbolize unmanly behavior. Not all dudes (straight) are uncomfortable around gays. I once heard a great line from a dude: "I'm only homophobic with gays I'm attracted too."
-
I once asked a guy in the subject whom by the way didn't have a problem with gay men but he said that the image of 2 girls is a turn on.Than I figured their problem is that the only reason MOST guys hate gays because they have the same bodies,they know what 2 gyus would do to each other and they feel "naked" and shocked being touched by another man.But it's their problem.:-))
-
The real fact of men's attraction to lesbians again comes from porn. Men very ofter prefer to see two women making love rather than a man making love to a woman. Homophobia again. Seeing the naked make confronts the macho. And the man places himself as having sex with two women. Yeah, dream on.
-
It seems gay men have a thing for straight men. Its much rarer vice versa (obv) I dont think its homophobia necessarily. Gays should be allowed to do what they want- get married etc. Its just when they are interested in a straight man(especially when they know the person is straight) where - housten, we've got a problem. Having a fetish should not be a bad thing just some people want to do what they were "supposed" do so lets respect that... I am sorry i could not find a euphamism for that statement.
-
I would say, because deep down inside, many guys secretly want to have another guy's dick inside them. Which is why so many dudes go for she-male porn. It's a nice way to rationalise. But many dudes pretend to not want it to reassure themselves.
-
A womans body is beautiful and to witness two gorgeous creatures carressing each other is a site that anyone can appreciate. On the other hand a mans body is quite nasty to gaze upon unless you are gay. Obviously if straight men like to have sex with women, then two woman naked is a glorious site[most of the time].
-
Because lesbians are hot. Lesbians do things with other women, just like straight men. This is why they are a turn on. Straight men can identify with it. I'm straight and I don't talk to other men who are gay, not because I am afraid, but because I have no interest and don't think I could have any kind of conversation with them.
Moongrim RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC