by Chosun One on April 10th, 2007

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What not to say to a woman in labor?

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Answers. 58 helpful answers below.

by PrettyPirate on April 10th, 2007
"Babe, can you pipe down a bit? I can't hear the game".
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- lol...good one
  
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  by Chosun One on April 10th, 2007
- Haha
  
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  by Tom on April 10th, 2007
- great one +3
  
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  by SG QOTABD RIP SHELLA DARLING on April 10th, 2007
- I'd throw the damn TV at his head, lol.
  
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  by PrettyPirate on April 10th, 2007
- lol..
  
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  by Chosun One on April 10th, 2007
- id take a baseball and throw it at him now when iam either in labor or pissed off i never miss lol he would be knocked out cold.
  
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  by SG QOTABD RIP SHELLA DARLING on April 10th, 2007
- Heck yeah! Knock that sucker out cold!
  
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  by PrettyPirate on April 10th, 2007
- all hail any female who is in labor, i feel sorry for the sucker who was stupid enouth to get her pregnant to begin with.
  
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  by SG QOTABD RIP SHELLA DARLING on April 10th, 2007
- Best answer, PP.
  
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  by Penny The Wise on April 11th, 2007
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by CousinVinny on April 11th, 2007
Honey this is taking longer than I thought, do you think you could go get me another beer?
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- Good answer, Cousin Vinny...
  
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  by Penny The Wise on April 11th, 2007
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by Psycho the kid on April 11th, 2007
"Don't worry honey, after you pop this puppy out, you won't be as fat!"
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- That is a good answer. DO NOT say this to a woman in labor!
  
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  by Penny The Wise on April 11th, 2007
- hahaha wow double hit with this one.
  
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  by Oddjob on June 30th, 2007
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by SG QOTABD RIP SHELLA DARLING on April 10th, 2007
your husband says , this is nothing, i could handel it better .
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- The second I could move, I'd knock that f**ker out cold...
  
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  by Penny The Wise on April 11th, 2007
- Oooh. That angers me just thinking about it.
  
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  by ketra1416 on June 19th, 2007
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by passerby on April 10th, 2007
Midwife: 'Your sister in law called (from the family wedding you're missing), she said to tell you that they're having a great time'

Me (head spinning, frothing at the mouth):'I'm effing glad someone is, aaaaaarrrrrrrrggghhhhh'
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- Sounds like you are speaking from personal experience? :/
  
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  by Penny The Wise on April 11th, 2007
- It certainly was.
  
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  by passerby on April 11th, 2007
- I'm sure your sister in law got an earfull, no? At least I would have given her a mouthfull of knuckle... but that's just me. Points, cause that's just rude!
  
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  by Penny The Wise on April 11th, 2007
- She's got less oblivious as she's gotten older. It was funny in retrospect, but at the time I'd have committed a murder.
  
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  by passerby on April 11th, 2007
- Hahaha!
  
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  by Penny The Wise on April 11th, 2007
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by King Beef on April 12th, 2007
"Baby, did you fart?"
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by lizizhere on April 10th, 2007
Quit crying & be quiet, you should've thought about this before spreading your legs. This was actually said to me by a nurse, I in my drugged out stage tried to grab her then dozed off when I woke up didn't see her after that.(good thing) I think they sometimes do that to anger you to speed up your labor, but it just angered me.
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- wow...very innapropriate
  
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  by Chosun One on April 10th, 2007
- i agree, it was not her place to say that.
  
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  by SG QOTABD RIP SHELLA DARLING on April 10th, 2007
- 100% I really hate it when people say things like that. Who the hell do they think they are?
  
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  by Penny The Wise on April 11th, 2007
- She was a biotch, I was in labor 34 hours with my son & wouldn't dialate they had to finally do a c-section. I was in alot of pain I wanted to kill her
  
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  by lizizhere on April 11th, 2007
- I bet. Did you speak to the manager about her?
  
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  by Penny The Wise on April 11th, 2007
- oh crap, i hope you turned her in .check this oout with my 2nd daughter they induced labor and i was only 33 weeks , , with her i was in labor almost 48 hours. she came 5 weeks early.
  
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  by SG QOTABD RIP SHELLA DARLING on April 11th, 2007
- wow I'm surprised they let you have her so early
  
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  by lizizhere on April 13th, 2007
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by cdPlaya363 on April 10th, 2007
quit being such a baby...
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by steveinthesun on April 10th, 2007
"Honey...I can't wait to have our next!"
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by Firebrand on May 20th, 2007
'They say that it gets easier after the first one'.
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- Good one Firebrand. +3
  
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  by FreeSpirit on May 23rd, 2007
- Thankyou Free Spirit. I am just trying to reply to some comments my eyes have not quite settled after the surgery yet. Will be back by the weekend I suppose, have a good evening:)
  
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  by Firebrand on May 24th, 2007
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by Distorted on May 10th, 2007
"hunny, im going to grab a beer with the guys ... call me when your finished"
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by Abbyguy on April 12th, 2007
It's not THAT bad is it? Come on...
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by Tom on April 10th, 2007
"This isn't nearly as painful as the doctor said it would be..."
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by Keysha on May 10th, 2007
The hospital is just down the road, the walk won't kill you.

This happened to my sister. She DID end up walking to the hospital, and when she got out, she started divorce proceedings.
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by Gracin the Strange on May 10th, 2007
DO you mind If I head down to the strip club for a while?
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by Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today on April 13th, 2007
Is this going to leave your stuff all stretched out? If so, I've got to go the the "store".
Comments
- Yeah, that's pretty bad too.
  Insensitivity is one thing, but outright cruelty is completely different. This is why my ex-husband is my ex and my new husband, although occasionally unintentionally insensitive, actually cares about what happens to me rather than just how it will affect him.
  
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  by GingerL on April 13th, 2007
- Yeah, that's why mine is my ex too. And he actually said the above to me after my emergency sugery, and 15 hours of labor later. He said that the size it had to become with the baby and all, that he was never going to enjoy sex again.
  
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  by Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today on April 13th, 2007
- Ah yes, the old "steamroller through the playground mentality." I dealt with that as well. Really, it was a relief to not have to deal with intimacy, since I couldn't stand him any more anyway. Husbands should like all your parts regardless of what pregnancy and childbirth does to them.
  
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  by GingerL on April 13th, 2007
- Especially since he had the fun to create the baby.
  
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  by Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today on April 13th, 2007
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by Anonymous on April 12th, 2007
"Getting kicked in the crotch hurts more"

"Can you have this baby quicker, this is costing me a fortune in doctor bills"

To a caesarean- "Does she have to?" said by my dad when I was being born, to which a nurse repled 'of course she fucking has too!"

"Wow, this is worse than your time of the month, isn't it?"

"I'm just nipping out to McDonalds, can I bring you back anything?"

"Come on Tracey, big push!" (your name is Katie)

"My mother did this better than you. She had 5, and she made dinner and did knitting at the same time!"

Right in the middle of it all when you beg for an epidural "Surely honey you want a natural birth, gas and air? Perhaps an asprin?"
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by Gracin the Strange on May 20th, 2007
Uhh maybe I shoulda mentioned it before but uhhh Im married and my wife is expecting me home soon so could ya hurry this up a bit so she dont get suspicious.
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by NightOwl on May 18th, 2007
"Don't worry. It will probably return to about the same size as before. At least I hope it will....man....who knew it could stretch THAT much. "
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by GingerL on April 13th, 2007
Well, this was actually just after labor, and wasn’t said directly to me, but I think it counts.

I caught this exchange as I was fading into drug induced unconsciousness while being prepped for emergency surgery. Now, I could have hallucinated it, but this is the same man who left me alone on the hospital because the baby was crying and he couldn’t “take much more of that sh**” and then later FORGOT to come pick me and the baby up from the hospital when we were finally discharged.

Doctor to (now ex) husband: Your wife is hemorrhaging. If the bleeding doesn't stop soon we are going to have to take her to surgery.

Husband: What are you trying to say? (His favorite line)

Doctor: We may have to do a hysterectomy, or she could die.

Husband: Does that mean she won't be able to have any more children? Because I really wanted a boy.

Doctor: She could DIE.

Husband: I’m gonna go grab a sandwich.
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- hmmmm kind of sounds like what happened to me. Men are jerks at the most inopportune times.
  
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  by Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today on April 13th, 2007
- I would want to KILL him. I'm glad he's not your husband any longer.
  
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  by Indigo- in the library with the revolver on June 30th, 2007
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by snowangel97010 on April 13th, 2007
Come on Honey, be a man and ignore the pain!
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by thebrawl on April 12th, 2007
Not again...
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by mekare on April 12th, 2007
"i don't see what you're going on about. remember that time i stubbed my toe? it hurt really bad but i didn't make all this fuss!"
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by H on June 30th, 2007
'Stop whinging, it can't hurt that much'
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by Mushen on June 19th, 2007
sorry, we've run out of drugs.
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by Jax is missing AB on May 24th, 2007
My mother-in law said to me...

"There's no need to say things like that sweetie. I've been in your position and I know that a woman in labor can still be lady-like."
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by Mr. Meaulnes on May 20th, 2007
"Oh, honey, after you're done someone is going to have to wash these sheets. And you know I don't know how to use the washing machine, sooo..."
<Interrupted by a swift blow to the throat>
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by gammyleglady on May 20th, 2007
What's wrong?
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by MIA on May 18th, 2007
my husband after I have been in labor 22 hours, no food or water for 30 hours and no sleep for about 40 hours....he turns to me and says when I get to the "its time to push point".."I really do not think you are trying hard enough to push this baby out...I would really try a little harder if I were you". WHAT!!!! If he were me he would have killed himself after about 6 hours...this is why he is now a ex husband...!! LOL
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by daisymae19 on April 13th, 2007
see that wasn't so bad (after a contraction has passed).

followed closely by:

Is it okay if I take a nap?
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by Joshua_Frozen on April 13th, 2007
"Come on! After this we can have another one!"

"There's something green coming out... and it's NOT a baby."
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by Chosun One on April 13th, 2007
"Wake me up when your done."
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by Mike777 on April 12th, 2007
could you be quiet a sec? I'm on the phone trying to order a pizza.
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by Firebrand on April 12th, 2007
It is easier the second time so stop complaining
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by American idle on April 12th, 2007
"Women have been doing this for YEARS...sheesh.."
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by ChelseaMark on April 11th, 2007
Have you seen ' Carry On Screaming' ?
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by JAMMco... its complicated... on April 11th, 2007
"This isn't as bad as I thought it would be..."

"Does it hurt?"
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by v1ryus on June 30th, 2007
Oh I remember it like it was yesterday. Never ask "Are we there yet?" :D
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by Nelson - Jetpacking from bed on June 30th, 2007
"Did you ever see the movie Alien?"
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by unknown on June 30th, 2007
I am glad its you going through this, and not me.
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by Tinkabelle on June 19th, 2007
"I'm glad I'm not you right now!"
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by Anonymous on May 20th, 2007
Look on the bright side. You're not going to be this fat for much longer.
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by RustedEarth on May 20th, 2007
Am I going to be able to use that area again?
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by Anonymous on May 20th, 2007
This answer is from my wife:

"I know, i know, i understand".

She further states, "what the hell does a man know about a woman having a baby!!!".

I'm sorry i asked her.
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by wobalome on April 12th, 2007
Keep the noise down I'm watching the TV
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by MG1942 Has a Life Penguin on April 11th, 2007
Pull, Honey!!!PULLLLLL!
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by atreadia on May 18th, 2007
What I just heard a few minutes ago on the radio...

"Have fewer kids"
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by MelindaWillard on May 18th, 2007
it's ok hunny just breathe!!!
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by lizaaaad on May 10th, 2007
"Are you feeling okay?" WHAT???? REALLY??
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by floydian18 on May 10th, 2007
"What the hell are you yellin at, in there!?"
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