Freeloading relatives?

You can love your brother and still not have to put up with his crap. Let him know how much you love him, tell him honestly what you are prepared to do to help him, and tell him honestly what you cannot/will not do to help him. You are within your rights to ask him to leave. He will be angry, just stay steady and keep telling him how much you care about him, and hold to your boundaries.

If you decide to let him stay, it should be on the condition that he stop complaining, help out around the house, and find honest work. If he doesn't stick to the conditions, ask him to leave immediately - it won't get better. It is definitely not appropriate for him to talk up his criminal activities around your kids - if he doesn't understand this and change it, ask him to leave.

Read information about enabling. It doesn't help him in the long run if you help him avoid consequences of his behaviour in his life.

I'm betting he uses drugs in problematic ways (I apologize if this assumption is wrong). You could always tell him you support him going to treatment, and will help out however you can to that end, but that he can't stay with you. He could also have undiagnosed mental health issues (ADHD and Bipolar are common). He could get steadier in his life if he gets therapy/medication and sticks with it.

Good luck - I know it's a very tough situation for you to be in.

He's your brother and he's made his choices. Your children are the main focus here. They didn't ask for their uncle to come over and bad mouth their home, their mother's cooking, their town. Put them first. Drop an anonymous tip to the cops about where this loser is. Get rid of the bum.

I had the same problem
What I did was got on the phone called the help line and lined up some programs for young men in transition and gave him a time limit to either find a place to go on his own or choose the best program that he can get into and go get his self together
there are programs set up for people who lost thier homes for what ever reason give them shelter help them find employment and some even provide transportation. They help you get your ID rent assistance and medical needs,clothes ect. call United Way

have a talk with him tell him how you feel help him find a place to go they have programs in certain states that help people get on their feet he's not the only one going through changes convince him to put his pride aside and go ask for help through an agency...you'll see in the end it will help him to become a better man in life if he chooses to do the right thing with this opportunity,they can even recommend people to certain companies who hire people who don't have a clean criminal record there are other ways to help a person without making yourself miserable...GOOD LUCK!!!

Show him the door and you show him love. He needs to grow up. He's your brother not your problem. Your only being an enabler ( one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior ) This is not good for you, your family or him. He'll find his way if he has too.

It is clear the brother is freeloading by how he said he got kicked out, yet he waited to tell you AFTER he got to enjoy a fair amount of time with you. Then, to avoid the awkwardness he just "all of a sudden" ends up without a home? It is clear this guy wants to enjoy the benefits of living with you.

One exception is that he figured it would be better to tell you later he got kicked out. I usually disagree with this, but some people are scared of being rejected. If you think about it, if you were without a home and you needed one desperately...would you tell them right away or wait? If you do right away you are more likely to get rejected. The reason being is that he has already built up a relationship with your family, so by this point you find it hard to kick him.

What concerns me like a lot of people here, is how he negatively influences your family and friends. Those are your most important people (in life), and for a guy who seems to like using you he doesn't care to start breaking the support system you have around you. Consider this.

What's your question again?

your lucky you got great caring kind advice.get to an alanon meeting or contine to talk this out domesticyour lucky you got great caring kind advice. get to an al-anon meeting or continue to talk this out domestic abuse services would be helpful.

your are in a crises or near crises situation
your brother needs help you or I can't help him or even make him get help

prayer is absolutely helpful if i were you I WOULD ASK GOD OR GODDESS WHOEVER YOU PRAY TO, OR THE UNIVERSE YOU LIKE. JUST PRAY!!
ask for help to and guidance and strength to do what ever it is you decide. pray for your kids and pray that he get professional help and try to believe that a kind and loving god will take care of all of you even if you should lose your brother
When the police arrested me it was the best thing that ever happened to me AND I STARTED going to a 12 step meetings and taking the actions necessary to recover in a spiritual solution not any religion no in all the different 12 step programs will ever tell you who to pray to we just ask that you do it the heart and soul of the 12 steps are clean house
trust your higher power (or learn to at first)
help others

many people won't act until they know that the person that in question will be helped that your not abandoning him. it maybe that the help he needs is from the police- it was for me, I spent six mo in jail then went to my 12 step group and my life is better than ever i have been helping others now for almost four years and never am I tempted to go back to being the selfish man I was
abuse services would be helpful.

your are in a crisses or near crisses situtation
your brother needs help you or I can't help him or even make him get help

prayer is abosoultly helpful if i we you I WOULD ASK GOD OR GODDESS WHOEVER YOU PRAY TO OR THE UNIVERIF YOU LIKE. JUST PRAY
ask for help to and gudinesa and streghnt to do what ever it is you decide. ptay for your kids and pray that he get profesional help and try to believe that a kind and loveing god will take care of all of you even if you should lose your brother
When the poilce aresteted me it was the best thing that ever happend to meAND I STARTED going to a 12 step meeting and taking the actions nessary to recocer in a spirtual solution not any religion no in all the different 12 step programs will ever tell you who to pray to we just ask that you do itthe heart and soul of the 12 steps are clean house
trust your higher power (or learn to at firist)
help others