- NEW!
I have a housemate who has been arrested before for theft. He was lucky enough to be put on probation, and recently got caught shoplifting and thus found in breach of his probation. He was freaking out earlier about how he doesn't want to go to jail, and how it will ruin his life. He also has a drinking problem.
I've tried to give him advice, telling him he needs to stay away from the alcohol (as that seems to be a trigger for his other problem behavior) and keep out of trouble, get a good lawyer and hope the judge will show leniency. He still hasn't made an appointment with his lawyer, saying he'll do it tomorrow or the next day. The very night of the freak out, he goes out and shoplifts beer and gets drunk off his ass. He has also shoplifted food and DVDs since being found in violation of his probation.
No matter how much I try to impress on him the severity of what is going on and just how much more trouble he will be in if he gets caught stealing again, he just shrugs it off and says things like "yeah, I know I shouldn't" and then goes on to rationalize how it's not a big deal. He must realize the consequences of what is going on, judging by his earlier reaction, but then it's just like the entire thing is a game.
I don't want to see the guy throw his life away. Drinking and stealing aside, he's actually not a bad a guy. He's only young as well, but he seems dead set on destroying himself. I know he isn't my responsibility, but I feel like I should be doing something to help him, but I don't even know how to reach him.
Any (constructive) advice, especially from people with similar personal experiences, would be greatly appreciated.
Unfortunately it seems like you are the only one that cares about him. He definitely has a problem but I don't think you are going to be able to help him no matter how hard you have tried and seem to be willing to try. He has given himself up as a lost cause. He is going to be in for a rude awakening because the judge is definitely not going to go easy on him if he doesn't act like he cares. He doesn't realize how lucky he is to have a good friend like you. I'm sorry I can't offer any good advice to you but I do say that I admire your efforts.
by Twisted Taco on February 12th, 2010
I'd say it's none of your goddam business. Just learn to live and let live or die as the case may be
Where did crack cocaine originate?
by Answerbag Staff on July 13th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
How many divorces happen from gambling?
by Answerbag Staff on July 11th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
What kind of drug is Special K?
by Answerbag Staff on July 5th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
How do you feel when you see or hear about
people that are far more intelligent than you
Stoned, addicted to or overdosed on crack?
by morrislook on January 25th, 2012
| 9 people like this
What are some symptoms of money addiction?
by Titan on January 11th, 2012
| 1 person likes this
You're reading How do you help someone who doesn't think they have a problem? Or doesn't take their problem seriously?
Your favorite Q&A site is on Facebook! Become a fan to connect with the ever-growing community of Answerbaggers, share your thoughts and find out what Answerbag's up to next!
Comments
Thank you. I really don't want to give up on the guy, since nobody else seems to be making any effort to help him, but he refuses to help himself... it's intensely frustrating to watch.
by srosa on February 8th, 2010