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by Anonymous on April 8th, 2007

Anonymous

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If someone is in a long-term relationship with someone they do not love, but really like because the relationship is friendly, comfortable and easy, should they endeavour in that relationship, or go looking for 'the one'? Does 'the one' even exist?

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Answers. 12 helpful answers below.

  • by This Daley has a new bundle of joy on April 8th, 2007

    This Daley has a new bundle of joy

    I think "the one" IS the one that I am really comfortable with and easy with. He is "the one" because when I try to imagine my life without him, it makes me miserable. I remember the night we met, thinking to myself that I would marry him and if I didn't, I would spend the rest of my life thinking about him BECAUSE it was so easy to be with him.

    But it also depends on what YOU need to feel satisfied and what YOU need out of a relationship. I had plenty of drama and romance in my dating years and I wanted someone trustworthy and stable and loving.

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  • by kells2007 on April 8th, 2007

    kells2007

    This is almost scary, that is exactly the question i was asking myself this entire week. I decided it wasnt fair to him and broke it off. I can't tell you how much i regret it right now, because in a relationship like this you're losing a friend not just a boyfriend. An incredible friend you may never find again. I miss his company so much that its almost frightening. If i were you i would enjoy the relationship until you hit an extreme in which you simply can't go on without being uncomfortable or you settle with the idea that you only like him as a friend. It's not fair to hang onto someone until someone better comes along so whatever you do dont play it that way. Be honest to yourself and your partner and that will atleast help you with your decision. But theres nothing worse than breaking up with someone you still have feelings for and you know has feelings for you. You'll never feel so lonely.

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  • by knuckles on April 8th, 2007

    knuckles

    Only you know the answer. Are you happy enough to be satisfied for the rest of your life? Does the other person know you do'nt love them, and how do they feel? Do they love you or just like you? Are they going to be happy like this? Is this fair to them? You could be selfish and not worry about these questions, or you could think of the other person, what would it do to them to know you do'nt really love them, your just here because it's comfortable. If they feel the same as you and your both okay with that, then keep it going. I believe 'the one' does exist, but you may spend your whole life and never find them. What if you stay in this relationship for many years and then out of the blue you accidentally find 'the one' someday? Where does that leave the other person then? Do you say too late now and stay with the one your with, or do you dump them to be with 'the one', and leave them wishing they would have looked for 'the one' years ago themselves?

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  • by unknown on April 8th, 2007

    unknown

    If you are already married I say stay. If you aren't married then you could go looking for something better but you may not find it and will loose what you have so be sure it's worth it to leave in the first place.

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  • by -O-uknow on April 8th, 2007

    -O-uknow

    Endeavour awaiting the better deal.

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  • by mousegirl27 on April 8th, 2007

    mousegirl27

    I had a relationship like that that lasted for two years. I think you should enjoy it while you can, it's wonderful to have a easy companionship. If you are destined to meet the one, you don't need to go looking, it will just happen.

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  • by D.J. on July 10th, 2009

    D.J.

    If you're in a long-term relationship that is 'friendly, comfortable and easy,' and you go looking for "the one," then your lack of appreciation will soon be cured, and then you can start dealing with your feelings of regret.

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  • by aprilmaylinkus on July 10th, 2009

    aprilmaylinkus

    I think "the one" is only in the eye of the beholder. If you have a wonderful relationship, why risk it looking for something that may not exist for you?

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  • by Sharona Life is a Tale Told by an Idiot on July 10th, 2009

    Sharona Life is a Tale Told by an Idiot

    If the relationship is friendly, comfortable and easy the relationship is crumbling because of you not them. You are dissatisfied about something, but odds are it's not your partner. The one will exist for awhile, but the same situation will occur down the line. Either you or they will become disatisfied again.

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  • by Naia the Bee on July 10th, 2009

    Naia the Bee

    Think of the 80/20 rule.

    If the person you are with is giving you 80% of what you need, why go out and get someone who is only going to give you 20%. If you're happy and can coexist then stay where you are...

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  • by Zombies on July 10th, 2009

    Zombies

    What is love to you? Are you expecting to be whisked off of your feet every day? That's impossible. However, I honestly believe that if you don't have sexual intimacy and desire for the person you're with, you might as well end it there. It is a huge part of your relationship. But if you feel you don't love your other half, it's just not fair to them. Break it off and let them find someone who loves them.

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  • by angel25 on July 10th, 2009

    angel25

    its not fair to be in a relationship with someone who loves you but you don't love them, if you respect your partner you should let him/her know how you feel, and take it from there! if you both feel the same then you can still have the friendship with each other, without holding each other back!! get to know yourself again be yourself for a while then you will know what you want!! don't go looking for the one as you prob wont find it that way!! in my experience its when your not looking for the one he/she turns up!!
    all the best.

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