up for battle in a custody case 3 children i do not want to lose and will be representing myself..what do i say and/or not say?

First and foremost, hire an attorney. Enough said.

Well you want to prove that you are the most capable person to raise the child. And you also want to prove why the other person isn't capable of raising the child.

If they are doing anything illegal.
If they are away on business.
If they neglect the children in some way.
If they don't make enough at their jobs to support all the needs of the child.

If you are the mom you are most likely going to get custody, though if the father is a good citizen who can properly care for the child the best you can hope for is joint custody if he is looking for it.

Custody is almost always granted to the mother unless she is incapable of caring for the kids in some way.

This is for the safety and well being of your children, there is nothing to personal to ensure they are properly taken care of. They will bring up anything negative about you if they care for those children.

I think I would try to convey the idea that you love your children enough to sacrifice and hand them over to the other parent if you felt it would be in their best interests. However, you feel their best interests are better served with them living with you as you are the best choice for them.

Do you know the story of the two women who were brought before Job. Both said they were the mother of the child in question. Job, not knowing which was telling the truth said that since he couldn't make a decision he would have the child killed and no one would get it.

The true mother stood up and said, she's the mother pointing to the other woman. With that statement Job knew who the real mother was because only a real mother would love their child enough to allow someone else to take it if the decision was in the best interest of that child.

The real mother got the child. Good luck and all the very best to you and your children.

On a personal note I would bring up more positive points about what I could provide for my children rather than negative points about your spouse. Making someone else look bad, does not make you look good.

ATTORNEY and they are not all equal!!!!!! NEVER represent yourself when it comes to your children. If you dont have the money, there should be legal aid somewhere. Otherwise seduce a good lawyer would be my best advice.