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by Anonymous on April 8th, 2007

Anonymous

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My boyfriend and i of 7 years fight alot he always says "you don't like me" really he's right i always ask him why he says that..he never really answers..i want to leave but we have a four year old and that breaks my heart to rip him away from his dad.

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Answers. 7 helpful answers below.

  • by Eltinwe has a life Swan - DYOH on July 18th, 2007

    Eltinwe has a life Swan - DYOH

    Have you tried going to counseling? If you were in love before, you can get it back... you just both have to try together, and at very least it would make you better parents for your child regardless of whether you stay together or not.

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  • by Fun on April 8th, 2007

    Fun

    You have to do what is best for you and your child. If you are unhappy and are fighting in front of your child, is that really the situation you want to put him in?

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  • by shazam on July 18th, 2007

    shazam

    What you display to your child as far as a relationship is what he will tend to strive for or end up with. The hardest part of being a parent is sometimes the role model aspect. If finding a true love means parting ways with the bf, than your son will gain from it. Just keep the lines of communications open between you and the bf, demonstrate mature behavior... it may be hard, but it may be best for everyone. Remember, children know a lot more than they should because they can read you pretty well. They know when you are not happy.

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  • by LadyAguja on June 2nd, 2009

    LadyAguja

    Maybe if he is saying "you don't like me" it's because he doesn't feel loved. When you are feeling good about him, make sure you give him the attention he needs. When he does something good, congratulate him. When he tells a funny joke, laugh and tell him it was the funniest joke you've heard all day. When you speak to his family (or your family) tell them about the nice things he has done recently and the fun times you have had together, so that he can hear and know that you are proud of him. Maybe then he will stop putting himself down.

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  • by soundworks on April 13th, 2009

    soundworks

    Open communication and understanding is a must.

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  • by surprise on July 18th, 2007

    surprise

    yeah, but if you show your child a relationship that isn't happy, he'll think it's normal when he's older so why stay x x me and my sons step-dad couldn't get on at all when we were married, we're really good mates now we're getting a divorce, they see each other all the time, and my son is better for not being woke up every night from the arguing x

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  • by Tagosaurus on August 2nd, 2009

    Tagosaurus

    Dear Anonymous,

    There are many bases for relationships. Love is the ideal, but the "romantic" version of love is not really enough to sustain a relationship. It has to have other issues brought in, like support, nurturing, caring, and growth.

    After reading your question, I think there is a lot of manipulation at your house. There's his passive-aggressive manipulation with the whiny "don't you like me?" Then there's you manipulating yourself. If you were being completely honest, you would realize that you are probably in this relationship because you want to be. No one does things for seven years without plenty of reasons. You risked making a baby with him.

    However, this kind of push pull tension can be handy in relationships as a good motivator. The threat of "not liking him" seems real enough for him to realize it and say it. Unfortunately, manipulation swings both ways. Keeping him around as Daddy sounds like a wise, but "cornered" or "trapped" decision. The two of you are manipulating you.

    If you fight a lot, then could there be money problems? That's the number one reason for fighting in relationships. Financial problems are a horrible reason to stay in an unhappy relationship. The choices in your life will become more evident when you've got options. Therefore, go to school. Get some job training. Get vocational training. Go to job service, and sign up for one of their free training programs. Sign up for federal aid to go to college. Search for an internship. Get your GED if you haven't. Make phone calls and see what help there is out there. Ask your relatives what your options are.

    Having options will help you to decide what to do in your relationship. If you've got only two doors, you'll probably choose the lesser of two evils. Avoid the evils all together, and give yourself a lot more doors to choose from. Then, deciding may get easier and more fun.

    Good luck!

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