How do I date in Vietnam?

Vietnam is a tropical country with a troubled history but a vibrant cultural pride in its language and practices. Because many people in Vietnam are poor, economics always factor into choices for romantic partners. If you wish to date in Vietnam, be sure to keep in mind what's considerate culturally appropriate behavior.

Whom to Date

In Vietnam, status is placed on imported foreign luxury goods, such as cars, clothing and watches. Since the vast majority of the population cannot afford these items, if you can afford them, you will be held in a great amount of esteem. When it comes to dating, most families consider it a boon for the man to be wealthier than the woman. In addition, children are considered part of their father's bloodline (patrilineage) and are strictly forbidden from marrying anyone within that same patrilineage within five generations. If you are of Vietnamese heritage, make sure you don't make a mistake by trying to date within your clan.

How to Behave

In Vietnam, though much gender progress has been made, gender divisions are still common, and women are expected to speak quietly and defer to men. Domestic work or the "noi" is considered the woman's domain, as opposed to the public domain or "ngoai." Just as men take the lead in work, it is expected that the man will take the lead in dating as well, so he will be expected to do the asking out. Women are expected to dress modestly and speak quietly, and public displays of affection between unmarried people are discouraged.

Where to Go

Most unmarried young people live with their parents and extended families. Thus it is difficult for dating couples to find private time, so expect most dates to be conducted in public places. Few people eat in restaurants at Vietnam, so don't expect a romantic dinner. Rather, try a leisurely walk to a local historic or cultural site, or a trip to the theater or a musical performance, such as the opera (hat tuong). Be aware of what is considered appropriate behavior for different genders. Women generally do not smoke or drink alcohol, and will also eschew exotic foods such as dog and snake. If you are invited to your date's home, it's imperative that you defer to the family elders.This includes greeting them first, allowing them to be served first at meals, and using respectful forms of address.

What to Expect

It is acceptable for young people to date openly, although dating a large number of people, especially for women, is frowned upon as bad for the reputation. Don't be surprised when your date insists that you enter into an exclusive relationship within a very short time. If marriage is in the plans, remember that romantic love is highly valued in Vietnam, but so are family and economic considerations, so act accordingly.

Source:

EveryCulture.com: Vietnam

More Information:

VietnamTourism.com: Visit Vietnam