Boyfriend and I had rough patch and took "a break" and I fooled around with a guy. I

by twister on March 22nd, 2011

you are a cheating slut. you knew what you were doing. confess and get it over with. come clean with everyone because i know about your brown fucking blanket. do you want to live the rest of your life in lies.

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by BASS on January 28th, 2010

i know that a guilty conscience can make us want to spill the beans but i will tell you that its not always the best thing to do. you do not know that this man that you love sooo much can even deal with this and stay with you if you do tell him. if you were not with him then why must he know. i am not a lyer or cheater but i dont think you should screw up your relationship over something so senseless. its very petty and you need to let it go. they do not tell us every move they make either believe me.

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by BASS on January 28th, 2010

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by Brownblanket on January 27th, 2010

This is the first - and the last - time this would ever happen. I was out of town, visiting an old friend, and after breaking up with my boyfriend, he "consoled" me and (this is NOT an excuse or way of placing blame elsewhere) took advantage of me.

Because I didn't feel right about having sex with someone aside from the person I still cared deeply for, I did not give in to his begging, and we just fooled around (no intercourse).

I returned home, gave my boyfriend an earful about how he was so wrong to think I'd go and cheat (which is why we had our break in the first place). So, I lied. Flat out denied anything had happened and that I was capable of something so terrible. Yes, I hate myself for it and feel disgusting for even having to type those words.

We worked on our problems, spent some time seperate and then got back together. Things have been getting progressively better, and we're talking about marriage.

I'm telling him - it's not an option that I NOT tell him.

Problems:

- It happened approximately two months ago.
- I've had contact with the other guy since.
- I've had a bladder infection since (he will be suspicious this is from another infidelity, although IT IS NOT)

I'm a 21 year old professional artist who is down on her luck with no money whatsoever and a heavy heart... too much on the go. The stress of everything has piled up and I really cannot let the guilt go on. Please - HOW SHOULD I APPROACH THIS WITH MY BOYFRIEND?

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Truth is the other guy knowing your situation did take advantage of you. You were in an emotional state of mind. Were there rules to your "break". If there wasn't then I wouldn't tell my boyfriend. The only thing is your still in touch with this other guy. Why?
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by laaayla on January 27th, 2010
To be completely and honest, I was sexually abused as a kid, and from what I've read over the years it can do weird things to a person's sexuality.

I'm bisexual and don't believe that sex and love necessarily have to go together. I don't think humans were created to be monogamous (and please, do NOT rip into me about anything religious. I am existentialist). This is why, in the past, I've slept with a couple of guys that I do still talk to. An ex-fiance, etc. I keep in touch with those who enrich my life, no matter what went on. I thought he was a friend, and then he basically said that he's going to tell my boyfriend and that I'm nothing but a "bitch" and a "hoe" and that "my kind" need to be taken down. I've never, in my life, been anything but good and nice and helpful to him... so he kind of just did a 180.

Anyway, THAT contact will end too.
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by Brownblanket on January 27th, 2010
I was molested as a child. Though, probably not to the extent that you were. Although the mental anguish still exists many years later. Something was taken from me that I can never get back. Promiscuity is one of the signs that you were abused. Did you know that? Have you ever thought about getting some counseling? The guy that did this to you is a creep. You are not responsible for his behavior. You did nothing wrong. Do you think your current boyfriend will truly understand? Does he know your background?
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by laaayla on January 28th, 2010
I was never abused but I believe wholly in what brownblanket said. In some people promiscuity is just part of who they are. That is where I fit in.

Brownblanket, now isn't the time to tell him. 2 months ago would have been. At this point, the only thing telling your bf will do is deepen an obviously already existing mistrust of your sexual inhibitions. And possibly the end of the relationship. If you are planning on being monogamous with this guy do it from this point on and that's that.

But coming from me(a fellow believer that we aren't meant to be monogamous) If you feel that monogamy isn't being true to yourself. Save him and you the pain and heart ache. End the relationship with your bf now and only be with those who believe the same as you. That is a belief that is to strong to ignore for long.
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by Anonymous on March 3rd, 2010

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Boyfriend and I had rough patch and took "a break" and I fooled around with a guy. I'm coming clean - how should I do it?

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