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He was my bestfriend for two years before we started dating. We were moving way too fast in the relationship. I'm 18 years old and he was my very first boyfriend. He was my first kiss. But we were going so fast and it was all so new to me that I think I just panicked. I don't know what to do. He graduated from high school with me last spring, but he isn't going to college yet. He sits at home all day long and doesn't search for a job. He did have a really bad childhood and I think he just needed confidence to start making choices for his life, but should I date someone that has no ambition in life? I feel like I love him, and I'm so depressed. I miss him so much. He was my best friend and now we hardly talk. While we were dating I told him something about me that I had never told anyone, and he went and told someone. But I forgave him for it because I loved him. Am I crazy, I just feel like I love him. I've never felt so much emotional pain before, its unbearable. I'm also scared that maybe he never cared about me. He seems so indifferent now.
It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders because your worried about the fact that he has no job or ambition. I've known plenty of deadbeat guys in my life and I've dated a few of them and I'll tell you one thing, a guy will NEVER change because you want him to. EVER. They do things at their own pace. But one thing you have to think about is what has happened since you broke up?? Was he as devastated as it sounds like you are? Probably not because guys don't deal with their emotions like us girls do. But if he still wants to be with you, he'd tell you. Don't chase him. Your better than that. I think you deserve better. Your young and you deserve the chance to experience life while you still can, which is difficult to do if your tied down in a relationship. You don't NEED a man, no woman ever does.
by gardengirl10 on January 22nd, 2010
You have a lot of red flags here. Lack of ambition, betrayed your trust, indifference. Some relationships are not meant to be. The only person you can ever change is yourself. You are still young. Work on yourself, realizing you are a complete person in yourself, finding your own path in life. Listen to your doubts, they are your heart's way of leading you. There's nothing lonelier than being with the wrong person.
by Wellduh on January 21st, 2010
Probably what you feel is the loss of a friend. You say you feel like you love him. I think if you truly loved him you would be able to say "I love him". You would also not be so disappointed in his lack of ambition. You have plenty of time to find someone and settle down. For your happiness I would suggest that you let things be with him and try to move on.
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