It may be difficult to equate being "tough" with being "loving." If you truly love someone, especially your child, how can harden your heart? If tough love always works, then why are there kids living on the streets because the stand their parents took failed to cause a change in behavior? It simply doesn't work for everyone. And unfortunately, tough love has also been used as an excuse for abusing children.

On the Other: It Depends on Application and Point of View

Tough love works to strengthen character in children as young as five, according to a study done by the think tank Demos, as reported by BBC News. There are also testimonials to successful results in teenagers from the application of tough love principles. In some cases, such as those in which a teen has taken over the family through drug or alcohol abuse, or even violence, a tough love stand may be more about parents loving themselves and the rest of the family enough to say, "Enough!" than it is about the child in question.

Bottom Line

When the philosophy of tough love was first founded by two Pennsylvanian therapists in 1979, it was meant to be a way for parents to take a stand against behavior that was not only hurting their child, but causing damage to the family unit too. Whether or not a parent or caregiver chooses to use tough love is a matter of preference. It has been effective for some, and when everything else has been tried, tough love may just be the method that works.

Source:

USA Today: GAO findings

BBC News: Tough love 'is good for children'

4 Troubled Teens