- NEW!
It may be difficult to equate being "tough" with being "loving." If you truly love someone, especially your child, how can harden your heart? If tough love always works, then why are there kids living on the streets because the stand their parents took failed to cause a change in behavior? It simply doesn't work for everyone. And unfortunately, tough love has also been used as an excuse for abusing children. Tough love works to strengthen character in children as young as five, according to a study done by the think tank Demos, as reported by BBC News. There are also testimonials to successful results in teenagers from the application of tough love principles. In some cases, such as those in which a teen has taken over the family through drug or alcohol abuse, or even violence, a tough love stand may be more about parents loving themselves and the rest of the family enough to say, "Enough!" than it is about the child in question. When the philosophy of tough love was first founded by two Pennsylvanian therapists in 1979, it was meant to be a way for parents to take a stand against behavior that was not only hurting their child, but causing damage to the family unit too. Whether or not a parent or caregiver chooses to use tough love is a matter of preference. It has been effective for some, and when everything else has been tried, tough love may just be the method that works.On One Hand: Is Tough Love an Oxymoron?
On the Other: It Depends on Application and Point of View
Bottom Line
Source:
by Theophilos on December 12th, 2010
DO not associate the name of Christ with tough love. Where in the bible do you see Jesus with such hatred? Nowhere. Oh you might say he threw the moneychangers and animals out of the temple. If some stranger did something in your house that was against your valueswould you just stand by and allow them to continue.
For three years I have suffered from a traumatic experiwence from the hands of my five sisters and their boyfriends. I suffer from ADD and have difficulty with organization. Their solution to my problem was to 'organize' everything by throwing evberything out except what they thought I really needed- which was placed in storage- I lost more than 2/3 of my belonging , and not counting the little that remained they placed in storage- slapping me with expensive monthly fees , unending misery- and they call it tough love. Ha, I call it hatred- and though they tell me it is of God. Do not believe it. God has nothing to do with this misery. Don't believe the lies.
by John on October 14th, 2010
No. They will probably not understand it.
by Mephistopheles on May 28th, 2010
"Tough love" is nothing more than a version of "Christian love" - I'll hate you, I'll destroy you, I'll kill you, I'll make a yogurt out of your already miserable existence but, please, understand that I'm only doing this because I love you. If I didn't love you, I would...well...I would...lemme see...no doubt I would do something different. Yeah, that's it!
by Captain4876 on March 25th, 2010
Yes. It would seem that it does, if it's used correctly and to the right extent. It makes sense from a Christian theistic standpoint because the bible says that he who spares the rod hates his children, meaning that it does support a disciplined upbringing.
I was never raised like this, and i regret it. I find that many of my friends who were raised with tough love have a better relationship with their parents.
by brownfinger on March 31st, 2010
yes, i gave my best friend " ol' one eye" some tough love five minutes ago. ah wacka wacka wacka!!
by Sorrow on March 20th, 2010
yes if you would only make it really work...just like faith...love without works is dead..
How long should a baby stay in a car seat?
by Answerbag Staff on July 11th, 2010
| 2 people like this
When is the right time to start potty training?
by Answerbag Staff on May 26th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
How do i maintain classroom discipline by using democratic methods?
by Answerbag Staff on July 2nd, 2010
| 1 person likes this
A question about corporal punishment in "the good 'ol days". Please read description.
by drequeen on January 14th, 2012
| 4 people like this
Me, hubby, our baby, my parents...see description
by Secretive Woman on January 15th, 2012
| 1 person likes this
You're reading Does tough love really work?
Your favorite Q&A site is on Facebook! Become a fan to connect with the ever-growing community of Answerbaggers, share your thoughts and find out what Answerbag's up to next!
Comments