ANSWERS: 2
  • Don't take it. He may or may not love you - but first it matters what you think of him. If you like him, then you need to make it clear that he needs to get - and stay - clean, before you can have a relationship with him. Be sympathetic, be compassionate, and you can even be loving, but you need to make it clear that your trust in him is dependent on how trustworthy he can be. For your own part, keep your distance. Communicate by phone or text or whatever, but until he gets a grip on his own life, it is too easy for him to turn yours upside down. At a minimum, he will form a dependent relationship on you. That will touch your heart, but you are not what he needs. He needs to stand on his own two feet. If you have romantic interests in him, he needs to show that he can take care of you - not depend on you. If you care about him as a man - or of you just care because he is another human being in need - you need to make it clear that he has to get his life in order. Pay him compliments - that makes every man feel good - but tell him that the best thing he can do for his relationship to you is prove that he can handle it - and life - without the drugs. Tell him you will stay in touch by phone or text or whatever, but that seeing you is out for the time being. (Have in your own mind things that you need to see him do. Go to rehab. Get a job. Stay clean for a year, etc.) I know that sounds harsh, but he needs that as much as you need to see it to feel safe with him. Don't try to read his mind. If he gets angry, you will have a sense of how much he really loves you. At that point, run - do not walk - in the other direction. Addictive personalities can drag you down with them. So be compassionate - but be careful.
  • i would make him dump the drugs first before you got involved with him

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