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by singwell-is off researching a lot on April 3rd, 2007

singwell-is off researching a lot

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What is something you should NEVER say to a policeman? Eg Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

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Answers. 150 helpful answers below.

  • by Znicest on August 15th, 2007

    Znicest

    Here are some more...lol

    1. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
    2. I pay your salary!
    3. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

    4. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
    5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
    cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.
    6. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
    7.Can I hold your gun for a sec.
    8.I bet you can't get out of your cuffs with no key...lets see then

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  • by .avallach on August 15th, 2007

    .avallach

    Here's more ideas.

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  • by El Soupy spanish for the soupy on August 15th, 2007

    El Soupy spanish for the soupy

    Do you know why I pulled you over?
    Because you think I have donuts in here?

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  • by Penny The Wise on August 15th, 2007

    Penny The Wise

    "Piggy-wiggy wanna donut?"

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  • by Znicest on August 15th, 2007

    Znicest

    1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas )
    2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
    3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
    4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
    5. Are You Andy or Barney?
    6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
    7.Cop: Sir can you step out the car
    Driver: Can you sit in my car, I'm to drunk to step out!

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  • by peterpam on August 15th, 2007

    peterpam

    Is that bacon I smell!

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  • by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on April 3rd, 2007

    Sheriff Raff -Answerhag

    I have this domination fantasy. Could you handcuff me and rub your baton over my sensitive body parts?

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  • by schmee2369 on July 19th, 2009

    schmee2369

    A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car.
    After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?"
    The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

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  • by jin jang on August 15th, 2007

    jin jang

    Why chase me down ,when you should be chasing the real criminals .

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  • by Merfish on July 19th, 2009

    Merfish

    My gun is bigger than yours.

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  • by SG QOTABD RIP SHELLA DARLING on August 15th, 2007

    SG QOTABD RIP SHELLA DARLING

    from the man with two brains.
    " no officer that is not my dead wife in the passenger seat."

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  • by Gonzo on August 15th, 2007

    Gonzo

    "I didnt do it!" I tried that once- didnt work. I was quite stoned at the time though..

    Another great one is "She errr... just FELL onto the err dagger"..

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  • by Jodie44 on August 15th, 2007

    Jodie44

    "Oink, Porky!"

    Evidently, downraters believe you SHOULD say "Oink" to a policeman, LOL.

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  • by DukeG on July 19th, 2009

    DukeG

    Doesn't the department have a height/weight requirement?

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  • by gtravels loves her life penguin on July 19th, 2009

    gtravels loves her life penguin

    Sure we can't make that an "oral" warning? Wink, wink;)

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  • by Anonymous on July 19th, 2009

    Anonymous

    "Write me a ticket, and you're a dead man!"

    +5

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  • by Seraphim Shinobi on August 15th, 2007

    Seraphim Shinobi

    hey look, its richard simmons!!!

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  • by Anonymous on August 15th, 2007

    Anonymous

    You couldn't be as stupid as you look .

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  • by American idle on August 15th, 2007

    American idle

    "Don't you have anything better to do, @sshole"?

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  • by Abberz on April 3rd, 2007

    Abberz

    Could you hold my beer while I grab my registration and insurance?

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  • by ConservativelyLiberal on July 19th, 2009

    ConservativelyLiberal

    You look just like that guy in the photo on my girlfriends night stand.

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  • by Benji on July 19th, 2009

    Benji

    OMG whats that over there?!?!?! *runs in other direction*

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  • by inconsequential on August 15th, 2007

    inconsequential

    Officer, clearly we're experiencing a lack of communication, so I want to talk to you in a language I know you'll understand.

    Oink oink! Snort! Squeeeeeeeee!

    Squeeeeeeeee! Squeeeeeeeee! Squeeeeeeeee!

    (This works best if you put fingers on either side of your head to simulate "ears").


    I hope this has been helpful.

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  • by Shopping Sheryl - home from the hospital on August 15th, 2007

    Shopping Sheryl - home from the hospital

    I just blew/screwed your Momma, and she was F-I-N-E!

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  • by Shine_The_Light on April 3rd, 2007

    Shine_The_Light

    (To an old fashioned British bobby) "Does your head go all the way to the top of your helmet?"

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  • by Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today on April 3rd, 2007

    Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today

    "Heeeelllllooooo Occifer Friendly" Yeah that got me into trouble once or twice.

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  • by iDeath on July 19th, 2009

    iDeath

    I don't see the resemblance... You don't look anything like a pig.. I'm just saying. No I'm not drunk I'm stoned. I know I have the right to remain silent. I watch Law and Order.

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  • by j ninja... on July 19th, 2009

    j ninja...

    Sir could you hold my beer while I look for my registration?

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  • by Lets Go Sharks on July 19th, 2009

    Lets Go Sharks

    would you like a sip of my Jack and seven?

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  • by Znicest on August 16th, 2007

    Znicest

    cop: whats your last name
    the wrong answers:gotti, bin laden, simpson, king, downey jr., spears, hilton(if your first name is paris), vick, tyson, donut, shakur, osbourne, bonds, murphy, van winkle, fonda and Kelly(if there are young girls in the car.

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  • by Possum on July 19th, 2009

    Possum

    Hey, that's MY bong!

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  • by blackandwhitemakesbeautiful on August 15th, 2007

    blackandwhitemakesbeautiful

    I give you a handjob if you let me go or chill out officer your too serious, take a hit of this joint!

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  • by Lambchop Good Wool Ambassador on August 15th, 2007

    Lambchop Good Wool Ambassador

    Freeze! Hands in the air! Nice and easy and no one gets hurt!
    That's it copper down on the ground! Hey you think I'd make it through the academy. What's your badge made out of?
    Wanna go pull over random cars and give them screwed up sobriety test? We can bet on how many we can make quack like ducks.

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  • by tibear on April 3rd, 2007

    tibear

    Are you an a-hole to everyone or is it just my lucky day?

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  • by Dreamlight on July 19th, 2009

    Dreamlight

    "Aha, I thought I smelled bacon."

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  • by Tveg on July 19th, 2009

    Tveg

    Too bad the FBI is so selective.

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  • by Max Power on July 19th, 2009

    Max Power

    Do you have to fill a quota or somthing?

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  • by dwdawg on July 19th, 2009

    dwdawg

    My girlfreind is married to a sargeant just like you!

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  • by TjoeBaxter is Hot Yo on July 19th, 2009

    TjoeBaxter is Hot Yo

    <<<<TASERED>>>>..oops sorry yo..I didn't know it was on:):)

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  • by CT on July 19th, 2009

    CT

    Aren't police officers fat these days or you wanna keep off those doughnuts..lol

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  • by -Icy- on July 19th, 2009

    -Icy-

    officer i promise i have not been drinking. i only smoked weed; it is just against my belief to drink and drive.

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  • by Possum on July 19th, 2009

    Possum

    So, pig, what are you going to do about it, arrest me?

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  • by PurpleRN on August 15th, 2007

    PurpleRN

    Have any extra donuts?

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  • by Halskiisaklink on April 3rd, 2007

    Halskiisaklink

    Where's the nearest safe-house?

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  • by Hellaphunt's Skynet on April 3rd, 2007

    Hellaphunt's Skynet

    Damn, I'm horny...

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  • by justwannaknow on April 3rd, 2007

    justwannaknow

    You must have woke up on the wrong side of the pig pen. Didn't you have your daily donut yet? Don't worry you'll get to go through the red light so you can go park on the side of the road and pretend you are working... Wait your not a pig I mean a cop are you?? lol :)

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  • by Gone. on July 19th, 2009

    Gone.

    I see the pigs are out in force today!?

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  • by BOOZE HOUND... nothing is nonsence on July 19th, 2009

    BOOZE HOUND... nothing is nonsence

    but i've only drank half a bottle of vodka?

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  • by philosopher-saint on July 19th, 2009

    philosopher-saint

    Yeah, NUNYA, "Go f*ck yourself" or it's innummerable possible derivatives should be resolutely avoided.
    [just imho]
    -
    ;-)

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  • by - alluseek - on July 19th, 2009

    - alluseek -

    got any donuts left?

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You're reading What is something you should NEVER say to a policeman? Eg Aren't you the guy from the Village People? - which can also be phrased in the following ways:

  • What should you never say to a cop?
  • What is something that you probably shouldn't say to a police officer?
  • What is something that you should never say to a cop?

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