- NEW!
by Ms.A on December 8th, 2009
I wouldn't go.
by Doyler - you have got to be kidding me! on December 8th, 2009
sorry Jadey, I'm going to answer your question with a question - does he not have a problem with you being a sub, waiting on the bench to be called into play?!!
by Tveg on December 8th, 2009
I agree with you, my AB friend! I also would not go.
by have mercy love :( forgive me. on December 8th, 2009
If it were me and everyone in my family, I'd ask yourself why your husband is going as well. If he considers you a significant other and has addressed that to the inviter, and they still don't want you to go, I'd tell your s/o to get some balls and say you're either gonna be there or he's not going either.
Youre not in the wrong at all. You are valuable, and if no one in this situation sees and acknowledges that then they don't deserve to have you in the situation at all. And I hope your s/o has a miserable time in regret if he does go.
I hope you stay strong and don't give in to this petty game. And I hope you win a week's trip to hawaii and have a blast while they have their suck wedding.
cheers
by Mr_Natural Abstractor of the Quintessence on December 8th, 2009
You've made your point to your S.O. I say, just go to keep your S.O. happy. You're doing it for him, nobody else. Afterwards he will "owe you one." :)
by Moongrim on December 8th, 2009
Free Food?
Then go. Swallow your pride and as much of the food as you can.
by Daniel on December 8th, 2009
Tricky. It depends on how established your relationship is. If everyone KNOWS you are a couple, then I think you're in the right.
by TheJoker on December 8th, 2009
Not at all! If anything I would say this is a good example of their social ineptness.... I mean, who invites someone to an event, knowing they have a partner, but not issuing a +1 invitation.... thats just rude!
by The Anonymous Witch on December 8th, 2009
nope
by john pennington on December 8th, 2009
I play second fiddle to no one.
This is like the 2nd and 3rd round draft choices in sports. if i was not good enough to be chosen in the first round, they can stuff the other rounds.
Same applies to you.
Your boyfriend is correct.
Just to make up numbers is an insult to you.
by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on December 8th, 2009
If I find out that I am on the "B" list and then invited.. I don't go.
I agree with you. Your S/O can be angry but he can also go without you or support you and sit this event out too.
by JulesB on December 8th, 2009
Honey, I've read all the answers and comments. It's got to be your call at this point. I don't know you and this won't effect me in a couple hours. The same can be said for all of us who've responded to you. Now he's actually shut down and not talking about it?
This is an avoidance tactic that results in the other person getting frustrated and hurt. This is something else you have to look forward to.
Conflict can be a healthy thing in a relationship, but conflict avoidance is a cyclic thing. It results in more avoidance or escalation and then more avoidance.
This relationship is not headed for a healthy life. You will either end up always accommodating him and his family, which is pointless and thankless. They won't even notice, much less acknowledge your accommodation. Or you'll constantly be trying to engage trying to resolve issues with him avoiding and becoming angry that you have the nerve to try to "bug" him or whatever terms he comes up with.
So, it's up to you. If this is how you choose to live the rest of your life, go for it, I'm sure we'll be hearing from you again.
If you want something better, and a more healthy, satisfying relationship, leave him as soon as you can and don't settle for anything other than someone who is willing to engage and work through issues.
Good luck!
by spock's brain on December 8th, 2009
I am sorry that you have been hurt like this...
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You don't say how long the two of you have been together. Since you are calling him an s/o rather than just bf, I would assume that your relationship is not new, was well known etc.
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In that case I think it was very rude not to include you. I have never heard of inviting someone who is in a relationship (or anyone) to come stag!
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Letting you know you were invited to fill in the numbers was also a vary rude way to handle it. They could at least have apologised for the "oversight" to let you feel you were wanted!
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I am not surprised that people like this have to invite "just anyone" to fill in the numbers. Hard to understand how someone so insensitive could have any friends at all!
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I certainly understand why you are hurt and angry, but if you dig in your heels and don't go, who are you hurting? It is a shame but you s/o's friend apparently will not miss you. He'll just find someone else to fill up the space.
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If you go, go for your s/o and for your relationship.
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I am surprised that your friend does not udnerstand how you feel or how "mature" he is being by doing the "not talking about it routine". Can he not understand how you feel?
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Clearly, since you are with him, there must be other parts to him that we cannot see from this event alone. Are those not worth doing this to please him?
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These are questions only you can answer, but if you intend to continue your relationship with your s/o and see a long term future for it, consider going for the two of you. Small things sometimes ruin relationships, and if yours is worth preserving, maybe it is worth swallowing your pride for his sake and the sake of your being together?
by ChuckExAnon on December 8th, 2009
Your S/O is angry about it?!? If I were your S/O, I would advise you to decline the invitation...and if I were "important enough" to have been invited myself while you were not, I'd decline the invitation, as well.
Furthermore, I doubt that I would continue my so-called "friendship" with that so-called "friend".
Not important enough, indeed! Bullshit! Nobody puts Baby...or my Jadey...in the corner...NOBODY!
+5
by tawny7811 on July 26th, 2010
"Well... try keeping your friend from going too, make it fair and SQUARE!!"
by JPsgirl on July 26th, 2010
How do you know you weren't invited because you weren't "important enough?" Is that just an assumption? Maybe they were not inviting significant others at first but then had a change of heart? Or they forgot to invite you? I guess if my S/O wanted to go, and they were his good friends, I'd go along and test the waters. If it's a great night, I'd forget about the perceived oversight. Stuff happens. But if they are crappy to you at the event, I'd find better friends.
by Piggle on December 8th, 2009
Was your S/O going to this wedding before you were invited? How close a friend is it that is getting married? Were you not significant enough or TOO significant that you might steal the show? Has there ever been any cross words between you and the wedding couple?
So many reasons why they might want to leave you out and although that is hurtful I would be more concerned with your S/O's behaviour. I know that before we were married my husband would not have considered flying half way round the world for a wedding without me; not even a family wedding. Once we were established as a couple he would not have spent money for our future on something like that alone - either we would both have gone or neither of us.
If I were you to circumvent his sulking "I don't want to talk about it!" I would write down how I feel, complete with a list of all the things the money to go to Mexico could mean to both of you - a "You go alone" list which would detract from any monies you could put towards your own wedding and home, and a "We go together" list detailing how the money will still be spent but you would both have (potentially) got the holiday of a lifetime out of it. I wold then do a "Neither of us go" list showing how that money could take you on a holiday together without any wedding where you feel unwanted etc.
You go alone - £xxxxxs
We go together - £xxxxxxs
Neither of us go - showing our commitment to each other to the world and his (new) wife - PRICELESS!
by haleyy on July 26th, 2010
your S/O sounds like a b word.
If I know a dinner guest is left-handed, do I set their place with the silverware the opposite way, or use the usual formal setting?
by Kirotighta on December 19th, 2010
| 4 people like this
Have a party
have to wear a brown scarf and black jacket(coat type)
what should my dress code be? shirt colour ? green ? black ? blue ?
by Arsalan_B on January 4th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
If a manacingly hunk of a guy enters your party unannounced and uninvited and makes fun of all the people you invited, what would you do?
by WABOO on December 19th, 2010
| 4 people like this
If your not invited to a party... but people you know are there.. and you don't know what standing you are in...
by pearloaf is not yelling and dreams of bal on January 21st, 2011
| 2 people like this
Isn't it rude for someone to "tell" me to sing for them (I'm a singer) at my own dinner party? Isn't preparing a meal for them enough?
by music89 on December 22nd, 2010
| 1 person likes this
You're reading My S/O's friend has invited me to an important social event. I wasn't invited at first as I wasn't considered important enough. I have only been invited now just to make up the numbers. My S/O is angry that, because of that, I won't go. Am I in the wrong?
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Comments
Thanks Mrs Anonymous.. I am glad I am not the only one, I did wonder if I was being childish! =)
by Jadey - Vive la difference on December 8th, 2009
I don't think so.No one would want to be a "filler".
by Ms.A on December 8th, 2009