The Birth of the ‘Christianity’ brand after pious Jesus was crucified.
…And the 11 so-called ‘disciples’ of Jesus (Judas was the fall-guy, scapegoat) sat huddled in a small room and contemplated: “Oh sugar! How do we clean up this mess and redeem ourselves? People have seen us with Jesus, seen us denying and betraying him as well, they will stone us to death!”! – (as per the tradition of that time)
Peter said (and Paul-John seconded) to the group: ‘Lets hide/destroy Jesus’s body and start a new business, creed in the name of Jesus –the dead Jew. John sprinkled some water on Jesus as a ritual (Baptised) which everyone saw. Lets sprinkle –‘holy water’-- on our consumer-group as loyalty-scheme!’
‘But who would believe us? We have no service to offer, no product to sell!
We will tell everybody we saw him rise & go to skies/heaven. There would be no body for evidence! Then we will offer those who vouch to follow us: God’s promise of ‘life after death’! Everybody is afraid of death & nobody will return to ‘call our bluff’!
How would we entice & recruit consumers before making them loyal?!’
‘That’s easy! Just make them ‘consumers-by-birthright’ by (1) labelling all natural life-processes from womb-to-tomb, especially sex & conception as the ‘original sin’, so everybody automatically becomes a sinner-by-birth and has to seek redemption and (2) keeping customers ignorant of truth by calling ‘ignorance is bliss’ & ‘seeking of knowledge’ as a sinful temptation, a taboo, a bigger sin, such that eating the fruit of [carnal] knowledge of good & evil drove Adam & Eve out of paradise [where thery could live in ignorance forever… just like ‘heathen’ animals]…!
‘Then all of us and our club of generations of clergy would be ‘set up’ for a cozy life, eternally! Free solid-stone, high-ceiling housing, free food that too ‘best-cut’, we shall never need to work again, just ‘gob the gospel’! --- plus those sick child-molesters among us would have continuous supply of young boys to bugger as a ‘bonus bounty’ from our Lord, Jesus’s father-God, Amen!’
Thus was born the first business with brand-name ‘Christianity’ – the fore-runner of Coca Cola, Microsoft, Virgin and F C U K, with a board of 11 directors and it remained by far the most profitable ‘service’ industry by late 20th century AD, establishing monopoly by deceit and subterfuge, circular-illogical-irrational arguments of ‘divine authority’, selling an abstract, intangible faith-‘product’: “promise of immortality in afterlife”, a product with long, almost ‘eternal’ shelf-life, --but absolutely no value, no credibility, “no money-back, no guarantee”, no effect & no utility-in-futility.
Comments
+6
by Kierafaye on December 1st, 2009
Z-W's last sentence is the only proper answer.
'Since when has anything real been required to write a story?'
BUT
Z-W's examples are even weaker than the question
s/he's trying to answer:
-- Hercules from the Greek mythology did not 'inspire' any organized religion 'collecting money' in his name?
-- Mohammad did not 'inspire' Islam, he started it!
-- Joseph Smith is a good recent example of self-interested con-men starting a cult, not inspiring anything worthwhile.
+
So many horrible things have been done
in the name of Christianity,[slavery, racism, colonialism, Imperialism << Thy 'Kingdom' come>>, wars]
that it is not possible to say:
everything Jesus 'inspired' was worthwhile.
by ScienceSwamy on December 3rd, 2009
actually it is accepted by historians that there was a jesus christ
by Swan7 on August 9th, 2010