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by Foxy_roxy on April 1st, 2007

Foxy_roxy

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I'm supposed to be marrying my fiance in 4 months, every time I get upset/hurt he calls off the wedding. He has a 6 yr old son & he insists on shoving me off to the side when his son is around. They get meals without me, he even sleeps with him, etc. Help

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Answers. 3 helpful answers below.

  • by MG1942 Has a Life Penguin on April 1st, 2007

    MG1942 Has a Life Penguin

    Sounds like your fiance is hiding behind some skewed values. I am in a similar situation and I felt the same way he feels, and then I sat there wondering why 3 relationships went bad after my divorce from his mother. He's trying to keep you separate but the fact of the matter is that if you're gonna be part of his(their)lives, he can't keep the two elements of his life separate. The girl I'm with now has 50% say in his discipline, eating, sleeping arrangements, activities and things are working out MUCH better. He can't keep you as a second class citizen. His heart is in the right place and it is prudent not to involve you too early, but I'd say you're past all that if marriage is imminent. Good Luck and don't be treated that way forever.

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  • by Josh_Many on September 15th, 2009

    Josh_Many

    My opinion ... tell him how your feeling and postpone the wedding far a much later date. If he hasn't changed I would definatly leave but you do have to accept that sometimes he does have to put the kid first but sleeping in the same bed is out of order. That should stop when a child is 3 years old. Tell him how your feeling and have a SERIOUS talk.

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  • by Mister Sister on April 1st, 2007

    Mister Sister

    Get out and get out now! Most people put on their best face during the courtship and engagement periods. If this is how he's behaving now just think what a mega-jerk he'll be later. After marriage, every time you turn around he'll be threatening divorce! This is the M.O. of a MAJOR manipulator! My wife does this all the time. When our marriage was young it used to actually make me physically sick! I just learned to ignore it. When she did finally pack up and move out,(while I was at a company meeting, earning the $$$ to put a roof over her head and food in her ungrateful mouth),my friends asked me if I saw it coming. I replied,"How could I have? She'd been using it as a manipulation tool for over 20 years"! we're back together now because I persistently courted her back,(so emotionally invested I couldn't take the pain of being without her), and she's doing the same thing. Oh, did I mention out of the 27 years we've been together,the last 17 have been platonic? I've never raised a hand to her. We stopped having sex the day we were in bed and just as things were getting hot she stopped the action and said,"Before we do this,I want you to give me a $10 food stamp",(we were on the dole at the time). I refused and that was the end of that. Even though I've had no sex for 17 years,I still have never cheated on her since our marriage. Did I do something wrong? You might say I have some issues regards this relationship. But we're both over 50 now. What do you do?

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