My dearest friend is disabled, can't work; on food stamps; applying for social security: the worse time of her life. I have been with her when people with jobs, health, etc, say, "We all have it bad now." I can only gasp. What is a response to this?

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• Thank you for your answer, Thriftymaid, but talk about insensitive people out there! Not one of the people I have observed, have even been close to her circumstances. She is embarrassed she is on food stamps. It's like everyone is blaming Obama and the economy for every problem, not even noticing that some people aren't making ends meet, and not being able to because of health. She told me she would be a secretary, cashier again; and she has a Master's Degree.

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  by anon on November 21st, 2009

• I understand what you are saying. But, again, it is relative. Those who were making $250,000 and now making $45,000 feel they are in the same boat. They aren't, but it's all about perspective.

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  by Thriftymaid on November 21st, 2009

• That is the exact attitude I see and I'm in their boat. She does not have her health and cannot get Any job. People don't seem to relate at all. I think to myself how hardened can a person be. I guess they have to lose their health too, in order to understand. I don't even expect empathy or sympathy; just that they keep their mouths shut. I really don't know what she is thinking, but I can see the pained look on her face. I'd like to have some words to shut them up. I'm not even looking for mean words, just words.

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  by anon on November 21st, 2009

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• Pandora, thank you so much! You voiced just what I felt. I took her to physical therapy and the receptionist even said it. I'm going to print these answers out. Thank you.

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  by anon on November 21st, 2009

• Your answer just affected me so much. I'll be seeing her tomorrow. These aren't friends, but medical people, in stores (to help her carry things), agency people, gas stations, etc. Casual people who butt in when we are talking. The agency people treated her terribly when she needed to sit down in a line of about 35 people. She had to drag her chair along. I have so many stories, and I just might use your response. It will go over their heads. The once assertive person I knew holds her tongue now just to get the moment over with.

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  by anon on November 21st, 2009

• Your welcome. I hope things get better for her.
  Pandoras box(which actually was a jar) was said to release all the ills on the world but one remained in the bottom. Hope.
  Time always seems to make things better so long as you don't lose hope.
  I hope she holds on to hers. Its where real strength comes from and good friends help as well. She's covered their with you.
  She probably thanks you and you feel no thanks necessary but as one stranger to another, I'm thankful there are people who don't run at the sign of trouble. You are the definition of friend.

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  by pandora on November 21st, 2009

• You're right, when she thanks me, I don't even see the need.
  I did not know the story of Pandora's box. I like that with Hope being there. You are sure a good person.

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  by anon on November 21st, 2009

• Thanks, coming from you that is a real compliment. :)

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  by pandora on November 21st, 2009

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