by Anonymous on November 19th, 2009
No one can make you feel "abnormal," without your consent, you know.
You might be getting stares based on racial prejudice, or JEALOUSY, but neither reason is justified. Just keep this in mind:
You might also be getting stares because you and your BF are a BEAUTIFUL COUPLE. In that case, the looks are based on ADMIRATION, and that's not a "bad" reason at all to be "noticed," is it?
+5
by Old School on November 19th, 2009
It's not against the law (although that is a fairly recent development in US history...:-P...), but it is still unusual.
The vast majority of people tend to date/marry people quite similar to themselves in ethnicity/social class/religion/etc.
Hence, when that vast majority sees people NOT following that path, they get a little uncomfortable ("What are those strange people doing?"...;-D...)
In general, the uncomfortable majority do not mean you any harm. They are just having trouble dealing with their own insecurities.
I suspect that if you are patient, your feelings of 'abnormality' will fade as you get used to other peoples' reactions, and their ultimate lack of effect upon your life.
Good luck.
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by Morgan1 on November 19th, 2009
Sounds like their problem, not yours...
by carpe manana on November 19th, 2009
Unfortunately, racism isn't against the law either. If you're going to date interracially, you're going to have to develop a very thick skin and learn to ignore people and their hateful stares and whispers. Good luck.
by Teresa on November 19th, 2009
First, you have to own your own feelings. No one can make you feel abnormal: outside of abusive circumstances perhaps, or mental disabilities, no one can *make* you feel anything. Your emotions, your internal conditions, are entirely within your control. I'm not saying this to blame you: I'm saying it to empower you. I know it's easier said than done: people looking at you, snickering, making snide remarks, it can be painful, I know! But you can't let other people victimize you: you are in control! Claim that control: use it!
Second, of course interracial dating isn't against the law, but are you honestly surprised to discover it's taboo in some circles? You and I know that interracial dating shouldn't be an issue, but that does nothing to change the fact that, for many people, it is an issue. If you go through life expecting the ideal world and ignoring the practical conditions of the world you will never find peace, especially if how the world reacts to you is important to you (which it seems to be, considering your question).
Finally, whenever one's environment is a bad fit (by environment I mean the conditions that surround you), there are four possible options that I know of:
- Change yourself to become one with your environment: in your case, that means breaking off your current interracial relationship and from now on limiting yourself to people of your own race
- Ignore your environment: this requires a thick skin and great self-sufficiency ... I'm talking a certain degree of hermitage here (emotional, physical, spiritual), how much a level depending on how bad your environment is
- Revolt against your environment: this requires a lot of courage and stamina ... I'm talking social action
- Leave your environment for one that suits you better: this means moving, probably to a big city in a progressive state
Consider your options, choose one, and go through with it full-throttle. It's your choice, it's your path, it's your life, it's your feelings! Own them!
by Sharona Life is a Tale Told by an Idiot on November 19th, 2009
Well, since this is mostly nonexistant any longer I would say you are drawing this reaction by your own body language and thoughts. No one cares believe me.
by Cyanotic Wasp on November 19th, 2009
Regardless of what others may say or do, YOU are the one feeling "abnormal". How people choose to act or behave towards you is their business, and not something you should even attempt to control -- not that you can in any case. But how you react to THEM is YOUR business.
What I would suggest, even though I think you're not going to like the suggestion and I'll bet it makes you uncomfortable, is: talk to your boyfriend about how YOU feel, and be very open and honest. That is, TELL HIM how uncomfortable you feel at times -- get it out in the open! (This has nothing to do with your feelings toward him or whether or not your discomfort is a 'valid' thing or not. If it's a real feeling you have, then you need to deal with it.)
Once you admit it and discuss it, the feelings can go away. If you don't, then expect to be feeling "abnormal" (and blaming it on other people's attitudes, actions and reactions) for a good long while. If you take ownership of the feeling, you can eventually control it -- or get rid of it entirely. If you think your feelings are somehow "caused by someone else" they may never go away.
by roxybrown on November 19th, 2009
i dont know i feel that way all the time people just look at you right?like they have nothing else to do. i alway say their just jealous
by Finny wears a COAT of Romance on November 19th, 2009
That's just people not being accepting and nice about different things. Ignore them if they are being stupid about it.
+5
How do I date in Vietnam?
by Answerbag Staff on January 21st, 2010
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by CB4673 on November 24th, 2009
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Have you ever dated outside your race? if so what was their ethnicity?
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What makes white men more desirable to women of all races?
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Is there something wrong with me? I'm asian, but for some odd reason I am ONLY attracted to white girls and find asian girls unattractive and I am constantly being accused of betraying asians by my mum and asian girls, should I try stick with my own race?
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Comments
No, your right. Thank you, I think I'm just looking for a bit of encouragement. Your answer was a big help.
by extremecaution on November 19th, 2009
i learned, from dating a blind-from-birth woman, that physical appearances just don't matter. Have fun with your BF, and just "ignore the ignorant."
by Anonymous on November 19th, 2009
Hey Mensan, check this out.
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/1821103
by BlaNge on November 19th, 2009
Thanks! I have seen, read, and responded.
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Thanks for the points for my answer, above.
by Anonymous on November 19th, 2009
You're welcome.
by BlaNge on November 19th, 2009