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by Anonymous on November 19th, 2009
No one can make you feel "abnormal," without your consent, you know.
You might be getting stares based on racial prejudice, or JEALOUSY, but neither reason is justified. Just keep this in mind:
You might also be getting stares because you and your BF are a BEAUTIFUL COUPLE. In that case, the looks are based on ADMIRATION, and that's not a "bad" reason at all to be "noticed," is it?
+5
by Old School on November 19th, 2009
It's not against the law (although that is a fairly recent development in US history...:-P...), but it is still unusual.
The vast majority of people tend to date/marry people quite similar to themselves in ethnicity/social class/religion/etc.
Hence, when that vast majority sees people NOT following that path, they get a little uncomfortable ("What are those strange people doing?"...;-D...)
In general, the uncomfortable majority do not mean you any harm. They are just having trouble dealing with their own insecurities.
I suspect that if you are patient, your feelings of 'abnormality' will fade as you get used to other peoples' reactions, and their ultimate lack of effect upon your life.
Good luck.
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by Morgan1 on November 19th, 2009
Sounds like their problem, not yours...
by r i p facebook on November 19th, 2009
Unfortunately, racism isn't against the law either. If you're going to date interracially, you're going to have to develop a very thick skin and learn to ignore people and their hateful stares and whispers. Good luck.
by Teresa on November 19th, 2009
First, you have to own your own feelings. No one can make you feel abnormal: outside of abusive circumstances perhaps, or mental disabilities, no one can *make* you feel anything. Your emotions, your internal conditions, are entirely within your control. I'm not saying this to blame you: I'm saying it to empower you. I know it's easier said than done: people looking at you, snickering, making snide remarks, it can be painful, I know! But you can't let other people victimize you: you are in control! Claim that control: use it!
Second, of course interracial dating isn't against the law, but are you honestly surprised to discover it's taboo in some circles? You and I know that interracial dating shouldn't be an issue, but that does nothing to change the fact that, for many people, it is an issue. If you go through life expecting the ideal world and ignoring the practical conditions of the world you will never find peace, especially if how the world reacts to you is important to you (which it seems to be, considering your question).
Finally, whenever one's environment is a bad fit (by environment I mean the conditions that surround you), there are four possible options that I know of:
- Change yourself to become one with your environment: in your case, that means breaking off your current interracial relationship and from now on limiting yourself to people of your own race
- Ignore your environment: this requires a thick skin and great self-sufficiency ... I'm talking a certain degree of hermitage here (emotional, physical, spiritual), how much a level depending on how bad your environment is
- Revolt against your environment: this requires a lot of courage and stamina ... I'm talking social action
- Leave your environment for one that suits you better: this means moving, probably to a big city in a progressive state
Consider your options, choose one, and go through with it full-throttle. It's your choice, it's your path, it's your life, it's your feelings! Own them!
by Sharona Life is a Tale Told by an Idiot on November 19th, 2009
Well, since this is mostly nonexistant any longer I would say you are drawing this reaction by your own body language and thoughts. No one cares believe me.
by Cyanotic Wasp on November 19th, 2009
Regardless of what others may say or do, YOU are the one feeling "abnormal". How people choose to act or behave towards you is their business, and not something you should even attempt to control -- not that you can in any case. But how you react to THEM is YOUR business.
What I would suggest, even though I think you're not going to like the suggestion and I'll bet it makes you uncomfortable, is: talk to your boyfriend about how YOU feel, and be very open and honest. That is, TELL HIM how uncomfortable you feel at times -- get it out in the open! (This has nothing to do with your feelings toward him or whether or not your discomfort is a 'valid' thing or not. If it's a real feeling you have, then you need to deal with it.)
Once you admit it and discuss it, the feelings can go away. If you don't, then expect to be feeling "abnormal" (and blaming it on other people's attitudes, actions and reactions) for a good long while. If you take ownership of the feeling, you can eventually control it -- or get rid of it entirely. If you think your feelings are somehow "caused by someone else" they may never go away.
by roxybrown on November 19th, 2009
i dont know i feel that way all the time people just look at you right?like they have nothing else to do. i alway say their just jealous
by grey_specter75 on July 9th, 2011
well, remember people often think things are strange due to the fact that they don't partake in them, or that they have been taught not to delve in them. All this is a direct reflection of ignorance, or not knowing,.. the real issue here is that you are actually allowing them to bother you,..don't become a statistic of social ignorance,...teach people to accept you,.. by accepting that there will be ignorance,..no matter what you do,..and accept yourself and relationship too,..alot of people date someone of another race, and forget to accept reality of their consequences,..no matter what we do in life, good or bad,..people will show their high level of ignorance. Be strong, and be happy, and live life after following your heart, and making sound mind decisions,..
I admire your courage of dating someone of another race, because there are others out there who may actually like, or be in love with someone of another race but will not do it, simply because they are afraid of what is happening to you, or what they believe is worse, their family and friends will not accept them and turn their backs on them, so they will actually marry someone of the same race simply to please others and forfeit their own happiness, but one must know that if that happens,..its simply because of the ignorance of society, and the image that people want to display, noone likes to be different and get stared at, so they live inside the box in that comfort zone just to get by in life even if it goes against what they really feel. people allow ignorance to control them, instead of the other way around.
by Anonymous on November 19th, 2009
That's just people not being accepting and nice about different things. Ignore them if they are being stupid about it.
+5
by Anonymous on February 17th, 2010
You just have to keep your head up and keep moving.
My fiance's traditional Chinese family wants to come meet my crazy "All American" white family. Help?
by kassie1990 on November 26th, 2011
| 2 people like this
Would you or have you ever dated outside your race and how was the experience.....positive or negative....would you do it again?
by TallGalUS30 on December 20th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
Do you think white girls would like me?
by manonthemoon on December 7th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
What do I do if my boy toy starts to like my friend?(I'm black,my boy toy is white/Spanish and my friend is white)
by Quiet771 on November 17th, 2011
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Would you date a handsome black guy?
by pmcclainjr on December 11th, 2011
| 3 people like this
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Comments
No, your right. Thank you, I think I'm just looking for a bit of encouragement. Your answer was a big help.
by extremecaution on November 19th, 2009
i learned, from dating a blind-from-birth woman, that physical appearances just don't matter. Have fun with your BF, and just "ignore the ignorant."
by Anonymous on November 19th, 2009
Hey Mensan, check this out.
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/1821103
by I Am Gone on November 19th, 2009
Thanks! I have seen, read, and responded.
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Thanks for the points for my answer, above.
by Anonymous on November 19th, 2009
You're welcome.
by I Am Gone on November 19th, 2009