My partner is always complaining, unhappy, shouts and calls me names. If I ask him to stop shouting he says that I am trying to make him more angry? what do I do?
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ANSWERS: 6
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Sounds like you could use some help in communicating with one another. Try to get him to go for counseling with you. If he won't, then go by yourself as it will help you even if he's not there. There are many income based clinics with excellent help if money is an issue for you. Good luck! I would not engage him while he's angry and shouting though. The first thing I would do is walk away until he can calm down.
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i think you should both go and see a counselor. something has clearly changed in the relationship, and it needs to be looked at.
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to start with you should give him some space to make sure he isn't feeling overwelmed. If the problem persists more then likely thats not the case so without nagging try to find out what he is upset about. It could be something simple that has nothing to do with you. The fact that he is calling you names isn't a good thing. A woman should be treated with respect and if he can't do that there are plenty of guys out there that will. If I even think about talking down to a woman or treating her bad I just expect a smack on the back of my head from my mom and she is on the other side of the country but that is how I was raised.
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Say nothing! Listen to him, truly listen. When you think you understand what he is yelling about, then ask him if you understand. EX: So you are unhappy with the way the trash piles up? There is usually either something wrong other then what he is yelling about or he has some personal issues that you cannot fix, only he can. If you seek counseling and it doesn't work, I would leave his dumb @55 and move on. Sounds like he needs some anger management classes. One problem we as humans have is we don't listen very well, and two we want to be heard and understood.
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He is blaming you for his being angry and has an anger management problem? Hmm... that is not good. Consider this a red flag. I really hope for your sake it does not escalate into something more violent.
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It sounds like nothing you do is making him happy so how about you focus on getting yourself that way? That may mean leaving him or that may mean disengaging yourself from his abusive outbursts and not trying to "fix" things for him. I can't imagine that he will be too open to the thought of counseling if he can't even take a "don't shout please" without becoming more angry. So I'd suggest you go to one on your own and allow them to help you get your thoughts clear on what you want to do for the rest of your life. It isn't your job to make him happy, it's his. You don't exist for him to vomit his rage on. You have choices, he is not the only person with power in this relationship.
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