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by sprky777 on November 16th, 2009
First I would try to read their profile.
Then I would send them a polite letter requesting more information to develop a better understanding of their character.
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You're reading A total stranger from a social networking site you use sends you a message saying they really like you and want to meet in person, based on what you have shared on the site. Are you flattered, or afraid? What do you do/say/message them back with?
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Comments
Very sensible. what would your letter say?
When you see their profile, lets say...:
its a generally blank profile, that they live in the same or a nearby town, their approximate age is similar to yours. they are of the opposite sex. You do not have any common friends. their note to you literally reads "Hey I saw your profile and you seem pretty cool. Want to meet?" and nothing else.
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cant you just imagine this happening? it would be so common. i just wonder what peoples reactions to it would be.. so what say you, in your letter to them? :)
by Sage Chexie at your service on November 16th, 2009
chexie, from what you write and in particular the note received - I'd be a bit dubious. The note itself has no substance at all. It makes no specific mention of why they were inspired to contact you in the first place. The note itself is GENERIC and IMPERSONAL. And a person who is genuine I don't believe would come straight out and ask to meet up. And expect that is an acceptable way to invite a total stranger out they would want to take time to reassure you of who they were and their genuineness. and they were worthy of your trust. It sounds more like a opportunity of circumstance. They live near by etc etc. It's not to say they aren't for real, but they have given you nothing of any real substance so far.
by somewhere Pll loves her dawgy on November 16th, 2009
oh yes somewhere PII i agree with what you say. it is uninspired and generic. but this kind of thing does happen. sure i got many such notes like this, but at best they result in a little back and forth, then peter off as i lose interest, without us ever meeting.
but, this isnt really about a specific incident. its about a type of incident that i imagine happens a lot, and i wonder what other people would do in such a situation.
by Sage Chexie at your service on November 16th, 2009
There are a few reasons why the note would be as it was.
Some people are dating site burnouts. They have tried and found them to be a waste of time, filled with bots or fake profiles. So they have a canned response letter they shotgun to any potential persons of interest. Then once contact is established they revert to manual mode and actually respond to specific questions and may give actual answers to your questions.
Some people have no faith in dating sites so will send out frivolous notes not really expecting anything in return. Then if they get a response they still don't expect anything to come of it. After a few exchanges they may see that you have serious potential and may get serious themselves.
The third type are the scum. They shotgun out messages to anyone with the gender of interest looking for any responses. All they want is contact and no strings attached hook ups.
by sprky777 on November 16th, 2009
hi chexie, I do beg your pardon - I read it as being a specific sitch you were having :) and sprky 777 I was most interested in your response to chexie's question. Another social phenomena spawned from the internet hey!
by somewhere Pll loves her dawgy on November 16th, 2009
thanks. I love internet psychology. It does strange things to peoples behaviors. People generally do not act the same way in person.
by sprky777 on November 16th, 2009
yes yes sprky77.. you know what im talking about.. this is a "phenomenon" not just a one shot deal, as somewhere PII initially thought. your follow up to my comment, sprky77 actually address what i was thinking of. perhaps i should have added those details to my initial question. And yes internet psychology is soooo interesting. i have been saying it for years, internet socializing will create a whole new slew of disorders and behaviors by its very nature. its all so rad to consider.
@somewhere PII no problem, you are not the first to think my questions were about a specific personal incidence. its what made me specify in my profile that often my questions are more about hypothetical situations.. i just need to work on my questions a bit more..so what say you now to the proposed situation, given sprky's added input?
by Sage Chexie at your service on November 16th, 2009
hi clexie, in the event I had received such a note? Given its bland non specific tone, my initial reaction (prior even to reading Sprky's post) that it was little more than a copy and paste job to several people (possibly even chosen at random!) working on the theory of the more people the greater the odds of getting a response. Their motives? Well. maybe genuinely seeking to befriend or hookup. In the instance you gave - the person whom I supposedly impressed. as luck or fate would decree, lived close by??!! My personal circumstances are such that I'd have virtually nil impetus to follow through with correspondence, And largely because I'm one of many people now for whom the internet is no longer such a novelty. Not cynical nor jaded, but the days of experiencing wondrous excitement and sheer incredulous delight over stumbling upon someone from the interior of Slovakia with whom I just experienced such a connection! A true meeting of minds! (This conclusion after
by somewhere Pll loves her dawgy on November 16th, 2009
a week of email exchanges!) Yep so I've got over the infatuation thing. The world is a big place for sure, and there are many many like-minded people with whom I could potentially 'connect' with - and do! Even if for one brief evening on a comment thread. It's real. I'm real. But I can and do appreciate the transient nature of such connections. Yet it doesn't diminish the people involved not the intent and content of the exchange of thoughts. On the flip side I 'met' someone through the internet. Met IRL, fell in love. And 5 years later still in love. Still together. Go figure. sincere regards, pll
by somewhere Pll loves her dawgy on November 16th, 2009
somewhere;
I also met my wife online. we chatted for almost a year. It was a LDR so I only met with her 3 times IRL before we got married.
11 years, 5 kids.
by sprky777 on November 16th, 2009
awww you folks.. tyvm for sharing your stories, you brave voyagers of the internet.. this question only got 1 answer so far, but our little convo here in the comments made it a very interesting read indeed. thanks thanks :)
by Sage Chexie at your service on November 16th, 2009