My late husband's Mom passed away yesterday. I caught wind of it today. I have not talked with his family since we had a bad falling out 2 years ago. This is my two son's Grandma. Should I take them to the funeral or let it go? I am so confused!!!
by 
Autism Knows is finally Maestro
ANSWERS: 10
-
Sub consciously,I would say go. It just might be the thing to get all of you talking again. You can also ask your sons what they want to do. Even if his family still feels anger towards you, you can show them you're the better person by putting your differences aside and show respect for the deceased.
-
There is a time when you need to put down the gloves and make peace. My mother hadn't spoken to her brother for 10 years but when she heard on the radio his son had been killed in a car accident she went right over to his place. Nothing was discussed in reference to the falling out. After that they continued with a healthy relationship. It won't do any harm to take your boys to their grandmas funeral. It could do harm if you don't take them and one day they want to know why not. In your position I would take them but only if you can get through the day without nasty digs and side glances. Do it with class. If an uproar starts, simply turn around and walk away. If your sons are old enough ask if they want to stay and pick them up after the service. Good luck.
-
I think you should do what makes you comfortable friend. If your children are young, than maybe they wont know the difference. I hate to say it that way, but if you feel that it would do your children well to see their extended family, and experience a passing of a loved one, than go to the service. I wish you the best of luck my friend:)
-
Go, for your sons, keep it calm but for them to have the chance to say good bye to grandma
-
It depends on their age, anyone below school age will not know the difference, but any age would appreciate you at least get a copy of the memorial 'program' from the funeral home. As they get older they will understand that there was some family problems.
-
You didn't say how old they are. Maybe you should ask them.
-
Yes. I believe you should go. The "falling out" shouldn't matter at a time like this. And I would consider going, no matter your childrens' age. After all, they are the nieces/nephews, and grand-nieces/nephews, and cousins of your husband's family. If anyone starts any crap, make sure to talk to whomever you believe to be in charge, say, "I'm sorry for your loss. She is my children's grandmother, and those children are YOUR <whatever>. I thought they should see her, and that you might like to see them." If the ragging continues, leave. Make sure you get more than one copy of the funeral card/program, for them to know their family, no matter what happens. Now, if you two had been divorced, it might have been a different story, but then, you DID have children together. Hopefully, you are still friendly with at least one of the family, or they don't pull any crap in front of your kids. Even so, Go. Remember that she was YOUR Mother-in-law until your husband died, too.
-
I think you should go for your sons' sake. But I would play it by ear regarding the wake afterwards. If they invite you and are sincere, it might be a good time to wash your hands of the past.
-
Hi AK. I hope you are well. I am wondering if you would share what happened with this decision and if you chose to go are you happy you did? I will understand if you don't want to respond but I have been thinking about it hoping I gave you good advice.
-
You know what feels like the right thing to do. Do the right thing. YOu won't regret it. Hold yourself above it all.
RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC