Forgiving someone doesn't mean you trust them (based on the category, "Trust Issues", in which you placed this). Forgiving is, many times, more for the person doing the forgiving than for the person being forgiven. It allows them to "let go" of anger, the feeling of deceit, and more. Forgiving doesn't mean you FORGET, but you can then allow whatever to fade into the background. You WILL remember it, but it won't hurt as much. If you TRULY forgive, you will not bring it up in anger, or "throw it in their face" any more. To me, forgiving "wipes the slate clean", ALMOST, and allows you to start over. If you know the person, that sometimes means that the progression to full trust and love can be faster, because you KNOW a good portion of what to expect.

Here's the thing, if you scratch the surface of most of God's laws, you'll find that they are that way to protect you from harm. Hating someone, carrying a grudge, and wanting revenge are good ways to really harm yourself. Its like shooting yourself and expecting the other person to feel the pain. Forgiving someone is not the same thing as freeing them from consequences. It is not the same thing as trusting them again. Forgiving them means you let go and trust God to handle it. There are times when it is appropriate to trust someone or love someone again and times when it is not. But it is always appropriate to let go of it and let God handle it. You don't need to carry rage around with you, it will destroy you. It also leaves you wide open to evil. God sacrificed Himself in order to forgive us. He meets us where we are. But we still have to accept that forgiveness and repent of our sins before we can have a relationship with him and before heaven is open to us. I would argue that the same thing has to happen before you can trust someone who has harmed you. That is, they need to repent and ask your forgiveness. But you can already have let go of your anger and allowed God to handle it. And I would not suggest trusting someone or having a relationship with that person until they have repented of what they did to you. Take a look at what Christ say here, in Matthew 18:15 "If your brother sins against you,[b] go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'[c] 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. This is the part I missed when I was trying to figure out how to deal with my father. I could forgive him 70 times 7, and he would just keep giving me things to forgive. I had missed this part, which tells you how to deal with someone whom you need to forgive but who isn't ready to repent. That said, beautiful things can happen when you are willing to forgive.

I wonder that myself. It's been almost a year and a half since I made my wife move away from her home and give up her pets. She hasn't and refuses to sing a single note for me. I don't see what I did as so terrible but my wife has since rejected my (adult) sons and she won't be bothered with my grandson. I told her she and I could be as close as two peas in a pod and she said she doesn't want that connection with me. She wanted a divorce but I said no and she can't afford to live on her own. So if I did something so horrible I am sorry. Caitherine if that's you, I am sorry.

Yes, we can forgive, but you need to remember that forgiveness is mostly for the person doing the forgiving. If you cannot forgive someone their offenses against you, you run the risk of having bitterness take hold in your heart, and bitterness can ( quite literally ) kill you. You should not forget, but you must, for your own sake, forgive.