by sutspeare on March 27th, 2007

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What is your opinion of women who keep their maiden name when they get married?

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Answers. 160 helpful answers below.

by JustCurious on November 14th, 2007
would you give up your family name and take her name?
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- well said:-)
  
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  by devil is back on March 20th, 2008
- That's the latest craze and is definatly upsetting a long tradition. Some guys see it as an escape clause in the marriage and others that the gal is not fully committed. It really depends on the culture and background. It's so Hollywood so that fallout has reached middle America. I guess to each their own. Too many other variables as well as separate banking accounts etc.
  
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  by Pete Parker on August 7th, 2008
- it's a patriarcal tradition and tradition can be changed, things can be improved.
  
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  by devil is back on August 7th, 2008
- Agree...I think there is too much hype about it but traditionalists still don't like reform. But then again, change is sometimes not all that good and positive. Surname choice is a trivial point in that pursuit of righteousness.
  
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  by Pete Parker on August 7th, 2008
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by Babycakes Deux on November 14th, 2007
While I tend to be more traditional, I can certainly understand why some women don't want to take their husband's last name. As long as the couple is happy with it, I see no problem.
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by scubaduba on November 14th, 2007
In this day and age, I don't think anything of it. She could have many reasons such as: She has already established herself in her career and is known by her maiden name; she is the last one in her family's bloodline and there are no men to carry on the name; she could be a feminist; she may not want to change her name..just because; it could be cultural...lots of reasons.
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- Well, in my first marriage I gave up my name and took his name. I always resented it and missed my given name. It gave me some sort of weird feeling that I was giving up being my own person instead of two whole people traveling through life together. I took my name back when I divorced and it was part of reclaiming myself. My second husband thought it was pretty cool when I wanted to keep it because his first wife expected him to create her life.
  
  I come from a huge family but we are mostly women so we like keeping our name to carry it on through the family.
  
  I don't see it as not taking his name but not giving mine up.
  
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  by hummingbird on January 7th, 2008
- I hyphenate my last name, and that works pretty well for me. I didn't want to change my name completely though, because I also didn't want to give up my identity. I don't mind so much when people call me Mrs. "So and so", I can't stand being called Mrs. His first name So and so. That makes me feel like I'm not a real person at all.
  
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  by scubaduba on January 7th, 2008
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by Halskiisaklink on November 14th, 2007
Individualistic.
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by Katie on November 14th, 2007
She throws tradition to the wind and walks to the beat of her own drum!
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by peterpam on November 14th, 2007
It is her choice!
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by PT girl 08 on November 14th, 2007
This is currently an issue between my boyfriend and I. He feels the woman should always take the husband's name. I, personally, will receive my doctoral degree before we are married and want to hyphenate for professional reason. I would use only his last name for everything except business purposes, as I will be a health care professional. I would definately use his last name when involved with things having to do with our future children, to avoid confusion.
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- He's probably just hurt.
  
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  by UneFille on April 11th, 2008
- The issue was resolved a few months ago. I am choosing to take his name.
  
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  by PT girl 08 on April 12th, 2008
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by yoho05 reminds you to DYOH on November 14th, 2007
The same as on a man who won't take his wife's last name - it's none of my business.
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by Ed the Jetpacking Headbanger on November 14th, 2007
Doesn't matter to me. It's a woman's choice.
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by APACHEmeansENEMY on November 14th, 2007
I could care less.
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by Koz - Passion Perseverance Patience on November 14th, 2007
It is supposed to be common in Korea.
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by Possum on September 12th, 2008
I don't have an opinion. Although having the same last name makes keeping track of people easier.
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by Shan is Purrrrrfectly Happy on September 12th, 2008
its just fine by me. there are so many reasons why women choose to do this. for example, many women have achieved a lot of celebrity or recognition with their maiden names, and could stand to lose business by a name change. others have sentimental reasons for keeping their families' name (e.g. they are the last child in that family bloodline). or maybe they just love their family and they don't want to give up that part of themselves and their identities. then there are those who just dont identify with the social tradition of taking their husbands name, as they are progressive women who want to be seen as an equal partner in marriage. and then there are others who just dont want the hassle or the cost of changing their name legally. lastly, dont forget there are many reasons why people get married (its just a legal contract for some).
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by Anonymous on September 12th, 2008
I don't have an opinion about them, but figure they have their own name and are obviously happy to continue using it :)
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by Keeping it real on September 12th, 2008
That is her decision to make, it isnt a requirement for getting married.
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by Taciturnu on September 12th, 2008
I did it myself, by accident. :)

I figured I could change my name later on, so I didn't write my husband's name on the marriage certificate... Now I have to pay $375 to have it changed legally, so it's been on the back burner. I would like to change it before we have children, however.

I also think that professional women who are well established during their unwed days also have a lot of reason to keep their maiden name. (I would be one of them, but only under these circumstances would I keep it for the whole of my marriage.)

Other than that, I like the idea of having the same name for family's sake. (Although, mine wouldn't be identical- it would have an "a" at the end for cultural purposes, to signify I'm a married woman.)
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by Emmagirl wants to leave and not leave... on November 14th, 2007
Nothing. It's not such a big deal, is it?
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by Kiss A Fat Babys Ass on November 14th, 2007
Well it sucks because then whos name will the kids have?
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- The father's name, the mother's name or a hyphenated name. It is really that difficult of an issue.
  
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  by scubaduba on November 14th, 2007
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by Morg the Army wife on November 14th, 2007
I think that there could be many reasons for not doing so, so I really can't say what I think without knowing the whole story. Cultures, people, and situations vary drastically.
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by Teri on September 12th, 2008
My son did not want his wife to take his last name because he did not want her identity in life to be taken away...she wanted to take his last name...and one even better...My sister is a Paster and got remarried a year ago, she kept her ex-husbands last name because that is what is on all of her diplomas and everyone knew her as...she has a great husband to not have a problem with that....
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by AshleyYay on September 12th, 2008
well if they have kids and they want to keep the last name of them thats perfectly fine and if your last name goes awful with her name thaqts fine too :)
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by sarbear on July 7th, 2008
I'm not changing mine; I promised my Grandpa before he died that I never would. Now, I've met a great man, and he is changing his last name to mine!
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- Well, I think that is a very good reason! :)
  
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  by R.I.P. Gerald Malone on July 7th, 2008
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by Jaded on June 1st, 2008
I think it is a wife's right to maintain her own name if she chooses. Many women choose this for reasons of career or independence. We are no longer property to be named for our husbands. If a woman wants to keep her own name, it shouldn't mean anything negative.
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by hhoollyy on March 10th, 2008
I think its her decision. I kept my last name and its actually a fairly boring one and he has an interesting unusual one but it's not really "his". He's never met his real Dad and his Step-dad is a bit of a drop kick so I don't really want to be associated with his step-dad's name. Furthermore I've always had my name so why should I change. My husband got a bit miffed about it one day so I asked him to change his name to mine and he immeadiately saw my point.
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- See: You me and Dupree...
  
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  by KibitzNbitz on March 10th, 2008
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by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on December 7th, 2007
I see nothing wrong with it and feel it should be up to her. I personally never really liked the idea of having to give up a name you have had for most of your life and that is part of your identity just because you have gotten married. Especially if the other spouse is not expected to do the same thing. This is one of the reasons why I never changed mine when I got married. He also made some pretty insulting comments about because I was a woman my name wasn't as important as his as a man. Now if I would have been able to marry Jay I would have hyphenated our names because he acctually had respect for me and how I felt about my name. Add in the fact it used to be a sign that the ownership of a woman had gone from her father to her husband and it becomes even less appealing to me. It is also a relatively new practice. Back in the day a woman would have kept her maiden name. Especially if she was from a powerfull family.
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by anonymous on November 14th, 2007
It's completely up to the individual. A woman can have many reasons not to change her name. If the relationship is healthy and the marriage is good, what difference does the name make?
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by Little big mouth on November 14th, 2007
I won't judge anyone but if I'm marrying someone, I'd take his name
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by Anonomous on November 14th, 2007
I think she is strong and her own individual. I kept my last name because it was the name I was born with and I'm proud to have it. Our children have hyphenated last names yet primarily go by their fathers.
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by tomeygirl on March 11th, 2009
Usually they are professional women or are on a second/third marriage & are tired of changing names.
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by Amorphous Blob on March 11th, 2009
My wife did, and I like her pretty well.
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by dreamingoutloud on September 12th, 2008
I won't take my husband's last name. Why should I? I've been known by my last name my whole life but now i have to change it just because i'm getting married? why doesn't the man change is? Why don't we change our last name together if we are becoming "one person"?

and another thing i hate when at the end of a marriage they introduce the wed couple as mr and mrs edward galloway (made up name) when did she change her name to edward?

i'm not a feminist but there have been enough feminists to change this lol

anyway i don't really care if they take the last name or not it's their choice.
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by R.I.P. Gerald Malone on September 12th, 2008
Kind of annoyed..but whatevers.
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by Rollie on September 12th, 2008
It's their choice.
My wife took my last name but used her {former married name - new married name} (with a hyphen) for her children's school purposes for many years. There never was a question about who was their mother, etc. since one of the names was their last name.
If she is a professional or has a business she should use her former name for those purposes especially if it is a well known name.
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by Balance on July 16th, 2008
Your chances of getting divorced are far higher. Women who refuse to become a family with their husbands are usually trouble. I would recommend not marrying that kind of person.
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- Amen! + for you Anonymous.
  
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  by buttman on August 20th, 2008
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by BDazzled on June 3rd, 2008
It is ok...no one has to change their name to prove love or be committed to you...trust that it is ok.
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by kirababe on May 27th, 2008
I have no problem taking a man's last name. i think that it is just how it is and for a guy in our society it would be horrible for his reputation if his wife refused to take his last name. It's just a name ladies....why not humor your man and stroke his ego a bit and just take his name??? :)
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- Agreed! +++
  
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  by R.I.P. Gerald Malone on June 28th, 2008
- thanks!
  
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  by kirababe on June 28th, 2008
- No problem! :)
  
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  by R.I.P. Gerald Malone on June 28th, 2008
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by Anonymous on May 15th, 2008
I don't have an opinion about someone I don't know, but not taking her husbands last name is no big deal to me. She has her own and doesn't need his :)
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- Someone who thinks like me! Scary huh?
  
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  by Babycakes on May 15th, 2008
- Yeah real scary ~ can the world handle 2 of us !?
  
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  by Anonymous on May 15th, 2008
- I haven't heard anything yet from the other *you know who* yet.
  
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  by Babycakes on May 15th, 2008
- I noticed.
  
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  by Anonymous on May 15th, 2008
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by Amorphous Blob on January 22nd, 2008
My wife didn't, and it never bugged me... minor inconvenience every so often is all.
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by AntigoneRising on January 22nd, 2008
Same as I think of a husband who will not take his wife's last name.
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by jay on December 23rd, 2007
find a new gal. mens names rule the roost.the heck with womens lib. lol
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by Marcie on December 7th, 2007
I think OMG, there goes that woman who uses her own last name!!!!! Quick somebody stop her!
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- :D:D:p
  
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  by pam i am on December 22nd, 2007
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by Jewel on December 7th, 2007
I think it is fine. It is an archaic practices that serves no purpose now. I know men who have taken their wives last name because they didn't like their own, and there are a lot of hyphenated names around now.
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by Empress of Everything Ever on December 7th, 2007
Exactly what my opinion of her would be before she married him...it is personal preference and to be decided between the two people involved. In this country (Australia) it is custom not law when a woman changes her name to her husband's when they marry. The law recognises this custom, however, a woman, unless she changes her name by deed poll is technically, always known by her birth name.
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- I agree. Same in the USA, it's a custom. If they're cool with it, what business is it of mine?
  
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  by Anonymous on December 7th, 2007
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by suzycue on December 5th, 2007
The tradition of taking on a husband's name started 100s of years ago in the middle ages when a wife was the 'chattel' or belonged to the husband. It was to denote owndership.
Today's modern woman belongs to herself and she chooses, sometimes, to share herself with a mate. He does not own her. Therefore the tradition of taking on his name is not only redundant...considering its origin it flies in the face of equality and freedom.
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- Wow - someone downrated me for this answer! But doesn't have the courage to explain why........I am most curious, as this answer is based on fact, and opinion.
  Don't just DR...argue, debate, anything to keep a thought going...that is the essence of AB, after all!
  
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  by suzycue on December 24th, 2007
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by dogdogcrazy on December 5th, 2007
That she already had one that her suited her just fine.
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by Wild One on November 15th, 2007
Sounds like a power struggle to me. My wife didn't take my last name and I'm having a problem with it. It's part of the family bond. It's tradition. Should I call her husband and her call me husband? Sounds like more PC bullshit.
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by emo on November 14th, 2007
its completely her wish....
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by loveshoes on November 14th, 2007
I find it quite unusual when a wife doesn't take her husbands name, but I think it's fine as it's completely up to her.
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by Firebrand on November 14th, 2007
I do not believe it should be an issue, if that is what she wants come to an agreement or compromise.

To be upset is just machismo. Sometimes her family name could disappear,

The days of being chattels are over.
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by Babycakes on November 14th, 2007
No big deal in my book.
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