Ladies, would you date a guy who is built, makes a good living, responsible, very smart and very sweet, reasonably good looking and who is looking for a serious relationship but whos only flaws is he is somewhat socially clueless and 5'4"?

He's 26 and in Intellegence, so that does not help him to be social. He has to be a bit distrusting as well.

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by pandora on November 4th, 2009

I'll let him know about the site.

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by pandora on November 4th, 2009

Thanks for your answer.

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by pandora on November 4th, 2009

My pleasure, pandora :)

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by Phillis - Zacks little sister on November 4th, 2009

Actually I asked because my son is like that and thinks he will never get a date. When I say socially clueless, I refer to the fact he doesn't pickup women cues very well and he can be brutily honest when he should finesse an answer to a question. He doesn't mean what he says in malice, he just doesn't get that sometimes people don't want the whole truth but rather a favorable answer. He appreciates when people tell him bluntly what they think because it takes the guess work out about how they feel. He doesn't like reading between the lines. Can't say I blame him. LOL

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by pandora on November 4th, 2009

He may never get over that last part, but he won't hurt for company, either. There are a lot of folks like that! As long as he knows that there is a price for that behavior, then so be it. 5'4" isn't tall, but it certainly isn't so short that he won't find decent ladies to date. I think he's just feeling insecure.

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by Phillis - Zacks little sister on November 4th, 2009

Yeah, he understands there is a price for being honest. He just feels like not being totally honest is not really being a friend and he doesn't lie well, AT ALL.

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by pandora on November 4th, 2009

Depending on who you ask (in this case, it's me), he's on the right track! But there really is a big difference between honesty and BRUTE honesty. Rarely is there ever a constructive use for the latter. Most of the time, it only serves the person who is doling it out. It's not a very nice thing to do :(

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by Phillis - Zacks little sister on November 4th, 2009

Funny thing is his dad was the same way, and I was able to change him, however our son really is the worst liar ever, so when he tries to finesse an answer they can always tell and then ask him for what he really thinks. So another sad tale begins. I just don't know if its possible to teach someone how to be a good liar.
For now he's just getting an understanding on how to avoid sensitive subject. Maybe he just needs more time like his dad did. He too was a miserable liar. Now he can compliment you on the worst outfit possible and sound like he means it.

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by pandora on November 4th, 2009

Thanks my friend for your replies. At least I know its not the height with some people. Personality is something that can always be worked on but Height is forever.

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by pandora on November 4th, 2009

That's the other thing I meant to include! How could I forget that?! In a way, your son is lucky because of his height. That's right - LUCKY. Because he isn't as tall as some guys, he will naturally deter women who would otherwise use him for his looks. That knocks out a decent percentage of ladies who would otherwise date him for inappropriate reasons. His height is very much a plus. Hopefully, he will realize that one day soon.

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by Phillis - Zacks little sister on November 4th, 2009

Thanks. In a way its true. I will say the women that do seem to be attracted to him are usually quite genuine, only he misreads the clues they put out so badly that eventually they give up and move on to someone else. It does make it more difficult that he would like an independent, smart and sweet girl (he says sweet but to tell the truth I think he would prefer bittersweet) with high moral family values. He doesn't worry about looks or race, just as long as she is healthy and can understand him.

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by pandora on November 4th, 2009

It sounds like he is still sussing out what he wantss in a girl, and how he wants to be as well. Eventually, he'll settle on his ideal. But he really needs to drop the insecurity, because it is giving him an attitude. He's essentially shooting himself in the foot. All that does is make it harder on himself. I went through similiar things like that - probably why I recognize it!

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by Phillis - Zacks little sister on November 4th, 2009

Well there is hope. He has 1 uncle who I never would've believed that he could ever be in any kind of relationship because he is cheap, very insulting (not to be honest but to be mean) as ugly on the outside as the inside and yet he has had a long relationship with a very sweet girl. Of course it didn't last but she would've kept it going. He just thought there is more fish in the sea and dumped her. And still he does somehow get girlfriends.
I figured if he can get woman than anyone can.

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by pandora on November 4th, 2009

No kidding!! What an ass :(
Once your son gets over himself (hehehe) he'll do fine. I'm sure of it!

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by Phillis - Zacks little sister on November 4th, 2009

Thanks for your comments. Have a nice night.

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by pandora on November 4th, 2009

I enjoyed it, too :)
By the way, it wasn't your son I made the "ass" comment about.....just the behavior of the uncle. I hope you didn't misunderstand.

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by Phillis - Zacks little sister on November 5th, 2009