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	My mom wasn't capable of taking care of me with drug problems. My dad was short tempered and was abusive. When I turn 18 im planing to move away from them and never see and talk to them again. Do you think I am doing the thing? By pouncey Asked Nov 3 2009 9:04PM	55 Pts Rate Question

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Top Answer out of 17

by Icebox April on Nov 3, 2009 at 9:41 pm Permalink

Of course. Too many people get so hung up on being a "family" that they can't break away from their abusers in order to further themselves. Do what you need to do to get strong and healthy and happy.

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Anonymous Nov, 04 2009 at 06:29 AM

excellent answer. +6

Answer 2 out of 17

by Ganja Girl on Nov 3, 2009 at 9:37 pm Permalink

if they are so bad why do you wait? sounds like you are whining to me. 18??? i was 12 when i paid for myself to go to school and was 16 when i left home.. "legal" did not matter, so, stop your bitching or get the fuck out.

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pouncey Nov, 06 2009 at 05:12 PM

Ohh you mean fake niceness that really pisses me off. Why do they even do that uhh just pisses me off. I hate fake people just want to beat them up. I could me nice if your nice to be if not then Ill hate you back :)

Ganja Girl Nov, 07 2009 at 03:41 PM

i agree..beating them up, well they already look like a fool (unannounced to him or herself harhar)i would merely punch them discreetly in the throat and quietly walk away..

pouncey Nov, 07 2009 at 10:10 PM

Hmm that sounds good. People say that I shouldn't do that on AB not shure why. Maybe because they worry about me. Some actually do. I might just do it. I know It will be worth it.

Answer 3 out of 17

by YARNLADY is happy everyday on Nov 3, 2009 at 9:35 pm Permalink

Many people cut off contact with their abusive parents. You would not be the first.

Be sure it is in your best interest to do that, because once the choice is made, it's very difficult to take back. Try to find someone to talk to, like a teacher or religious leader. That will help you with tips and ideas.

Also, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on "How to Articles". Enter "leave toxic parents" in the search box. You will find a lot of useful articles.

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pouncey Nov, 03 2009 at 10:02 PM

Oh those? Never actually read anything about those help improve things though. +6

Answer 4 out of 17

by Anonymous on Nov 4, 2009 at 6:37 am Permalink

Just because someone is related to you does not mean they are automatically entitled to your loyalty. For your own sake it may be better to separate from them. Later on, as an adult, when they have no power over you they may change their behavior. In a very abusive situation it may be better to leave and never look back. Make sure that you really take charge of your life and not get into a common cycle of falling into another abusive relationship. +5 Pouncey

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pouncey Nov, 06 2009 at 05:42 PM

Please look at this http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/1796707
we do care about you and want to help you.

Anonymous Nov, 06 2009 at 10:38 PM

I'm taking my beloved home to bury her. Then I'll decide whether to join her immediately.

pouncey Nov, 06 2009 at 10:42 PM

Oh ok well good luck with that. :D

Answer 5 out of 17

by Factotum on Nov 3, 2009 at 9:30 pm Permalink

Never is a long time, Pouncey.

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pouncey Nov, 03 2009 at 10:22 PM

Well they kind of deserve it. Im a way +6

Answer 6 out of 17

by N I C K on Nov 3, 2009 at 10:19 pm Permalink

I think moving away could definitely be a good thing. Just don't stray into bad things. Avoid the shady people and places.

But the whole never talk to them again thing sounds a little harsh. You might want to distance yourself from them and from your past because they obviously didn't give you what you deserved growing up. But I wouldn't burn that bridge completely. It's probably better for you in the long run to forgive them. Don't forget, but forgive.

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pouncey Nov, 03 2009 at 10:21 PM

Thats what everyone is saying. Don't talk for a few years and come back if they seem to change. Maybe that might work but Im afraid if I do come back that shit will start all over again. Ehh but why noy dry

N I C K Nov, 03 2009 at 11:29 PM

But you won't let them affect you even if they start doing their old stuff. Remember you're your own person.

pouncey Nov, 04 2009 at 07:19 PM

I already know that. Thats why I want to get away.

Answer 7 out of 17

by Anonymous on Nov 3, 2009 at 9:21 pm Permalink

YES but you can not and will not forget where you come from...This will make you a stronger person and help you for the rest of your life...Make sure you become the best that they couldnt be. When you get your life on tract, contact them and thank them for all of your success because even though they couldnt help you, they still got you here.

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pouncey Nov, 03 2009 at 09:24 PM

Thank you they deserve me leaving them anyway +6

Answer 8 out of 17

by SoulFire on Nov 3, 2009 at 9:08 pm Permalink

For now definitely, but you might find as you get older you will want to reconnect with them. Your mom might clean up later on and realize what she lost. Your father may seek forgiveness. But until you are read,y go make yourself a life you can be happy in and leave the abuse behind.

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pouncey Nov, 04 2009 at 07:57 PM

Oh yeah I didn't tend to had a real childhood so I guess thats why. Im trying not to do drugs and stuff like that since my parents did that and im trying EVERYTHING to avoid stuff that they did so I wont end up like them.

SoulFire Nov, 04 2009 at 08:47 PM

I understand about the counseling thing, if it's not your thing or you have found it unhelpful then I wouldn't go back either. I was lucky to find one of the good ones I guess. At least you gave it a try.
Good for you sounds, like you were more the parent then they were. It's great that you are making sure that you are going to create a good life for yourself. I wish you did have to go through what you did, but maybe you will become a mom one day down the road you can make up for your parents. Or not, I don't plan on having kids. I am a mentor for a teenager who had a ruff life I try very hard to show her that there really are good people out there. She had trouble with counselors too, but she likes hanging with me. And I love hanging out with her, lets me be a little bit of a great mom without being a real mom.
I hope you create a wonderful life for yourself, you sound like you are doing everything responsibly. :-) to you.

pouncey Nov, 04 2009 at 08:53 PM

I am trying thats mainly my goals to not end up like her and become my own person and not let people put me down. For some reason every counseler I had I first like but they ending up sucking for some reason. Hope this does not happen again.
I don't know if ill even have kids but If i do, Ill try to be the best parent I can be.

Answer 9 out of 17

by Bleuxbell on Nov 4, 2009 at 7:06 am Permalink

Your parents did the best they could. I agree with leaving, but by no means should you throw salt in the wounds and not talk to them. Extreme measuses are never neccessary, even if they SEEM appropriate. Leave, give it a little time, let the tension relax, and get back in touch with them.

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pouncey Nov, 04 2009 at 07:27 PM

Everyone is saying that might do that thanks +6

Answer 10 out of 17

by High Shaman on Nov 3, 2009 at 9:42 pm Permalink

I'm not sure if you are saying that your mother had drug problems or that she coulldn't take care of you because YOU had drug problems ...

IF she had the drug problems .. and your father was abusive ; WHY are you waiting ? I'd be getting OUT asap ...

IF you had the drug problem ; she may have done the bes tshe could ...

Hope it all works out for you .. +5

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SoulSearcher Nov, 03 2009 at 09:45 PM

Saved me from asking. +5

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My mom wasn't capable of taking care of me with drug problems. My dad was short tempered and was abusive. When I turn 18 im planing to move away from them and never see and talk to them again. Do you think I am doing the thing?

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