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How often do you THINK of inappropriate things to say to/call someone who may have wronged you, but you edit yourself, and later things turn out so much better than if you HAD said them? (Here and in Real Life)

By BigDaddyBS Asked Nov 2 2009 4:17PM
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Top Answer out of 4

by The Chief on Nov 2, 2009 at 4:21 pm Permalink

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I can think of a few times! Thankfully not so many now-a-days, though.

You learn to bite your tongue if you speak out on the spur of the moment like that in front of several people and it turns around to bite you in the *ss in front of all those people!

Getting called to the carpet like that SUCKS!
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Avatar BigDaddyBS Nov, 03 2009 at 01:20 PM
Yeah... Chief has learned he doesn't like the taste of leather (or crepe or rubber or Toe-Jam...) LOL
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But if anyone is adept at explaining, and pulling that foot out of their mouth, it's the Chief. He will also apologize if he misread/misunderstood... A rarity around here, sometimes. ;-)
Avatar The Chief Nov, 03 2009 at 02:36 PM
:)
Avatar Anon Newbie Nov, 03 2009 at 02:39 PM
True, so true, true, true, for me too.

Answer 2 out of 4

by Anon Newbie on Nov 3, 2009 at 10:19 am Permalink

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Here, I am appalled that people make accusations without asking a person - they just jump right in and say whatever. A lot of loose canons. In real life, I am more concerned if s/o and other loved ones misunderstood anything said and ask right away. I truly do not have this problem with them. My friends know me and know I never mean anything negative. Strangers, I don't care and ask for a manager. I've dealt with people on a call line and the inappropriate ones usually end up apologizing.
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My hesitancy here is that I act the same in real life and I am concerned about others' feelings. I see cliques jump in like in high school and brand me with unusual characteristics, names, accusations, and violate AB policies acting like it is a private forum where others should not join in on the clique (which I didn't know existed). This is for opinions not stated with vulgarity or hostility, just different; they remind me of bullies. The only things I wish I had not said on AB were my feelings and being offended to people who did not care. I practice that in real life but I somehow mistakenly thought it would mean something to people who are 'trying to help others' with their Q&A.
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So many chat rooms are filled with vulgarity, porn and outright names, I thought this would be an adult forum where people could discuss issues WITHOUT name calling and being completely emotional, controlling, threatening and downgrading; and some state it under the guise of humor when nothing is funny. Maybe not.
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On AB, things only turn out better when the CL BD came on board. In life, since words are not said to hurt anyone, and not presumed to be taken that way, it is in clarifying how I or they took it and ask what was truly meant. Life is too short to hurt people.
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Avatar Anon Newbie Nov, 12 2009 at 10:09 AM
Daniel, I so agree with you and how to handle things. I remained open as long as I could only to have the mob take over. He never had a chance to defend himself or explain since there were three hours of condemnation before he came online. I noticed 2 things right off that made me cautious, but I would have liked to ask him. The services were at different times. When I asked, he switched to suicide talk. It is not possible to fly a plane in his condition whether military or civilian -- liabilty. A neighbor of mine thought he was a civilian or a military enlisted person as an airplane or helicopter mechanic. He spends way too much time on the computer to be a military officer, muchless a general. If his partner really died, and we all have different types of grieving, and I tried to keep my mind open throughout, this would still be tragic. He said a gay bishop performed the services. We have no idea where he was going to go with this or why. I wish there were questions first.
Avatar Daniel Nov, 13 2009 at 02:22 AM
Yes, it is pretty obvious that he was not a general in the army. I would be worried if US generals spent all their time on AB, even while they are flying military missions! I tend to be very sceptical of these kinds of claims. But people seem to feel that his misrepresentation in this respect is unassailable proof that he lied about his wife's death, which is not only fallacious logic but actually, in this case, very unlikely. I can provide a long list of people who are CLEARLY not exactly (or even remotely) who they say they are on AB. It doesn't mean I don't engage with them, listen to what they have to say, or empathise with them. There is usually a kernel of truth. I would be surprised if the stone-throwers in this incident have always been 100% honest in their self-representation on AB.
Avatar Anon Newbie Nov, 13 2009 at 08:52 AM
How very true. I have asked a few when the answer was not meant to be humorous or sarcastic and they were proud of their lies. I also don't like the idea of people under 18 using the site. If all of them were under 18, I might give them the chance to grow up; but I'm afraid they aren't.

Answer 3 out of 4

by Anonymous on Nov 11, 2009 at 6:07 am Permalink

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I don't bother editing any more. +5
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Avatar BigDaddyBS Nov, 13 2009 at 01:44 PM
I don't know that you ever have that I have seen, Major.
Thanks for answering. ;-)

Answer 4 out of 4

by Daniel on Nov 11, 2009 at 4:37 am Permalink

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@Anonymous. You know, I just followed the various threads in the MajorTom saga and I am completely appalled by what AB users did to him. I noticed you were one of the few people who found the self-righteous mob mentality as appalling as I did, and I just wanted to say well done. It is nice to know that there are sensible, kind people in the world as well. Peace to you.
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Avatar BigDaddyBS Nov, 13 2009 at 01:45 PM
Daniel... Wrong Anonymous. You MUST look at their profiles to keep them separate. THIS one was Major Tom. Oh... Sorry... I'd JUST read MT's at http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/8253424 . I see what you mean, now. Sorry, again.
Avatar Daniel Nov, 13 2009 at 02:15 PM
Tricky with all the anonymouses... anonymice :-)? Thanks, BigDaddy, for your sensible mediation around this issue & others - much appreciated.
Avatar BigDaddyBS Nov, 13 2009 at 02:56 PM
You're welcome. ;-)


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