My dad grabs my arms and screams in my face. He pushes my brother on the ground and holds him down till he apoligizes. He shoves us around hes 64, plus my mom died 2 years ago from 2 types of cancer, and i'm sad, what do i do now?

I am assuming you are an adult but just in case.

If you are underage, report the incident to the appropriate authorities and/or talk to a relative or an adult that you trust. Hopefully, you know someone who is able to provide a safe environment and protect you. If you do not have a relative or an adult you trust, you can always talk to a counselor, teacher, or principle at your school. In some states, the staff at the school is required to report the incident of abuse or neglect.

If you are an adult, reporting the incident to the authority and making a report would show your father the severity of the situations and hopefully have him reconsider his behavior. This would document the incident in case it happens again in the future. However, due to the lapse of time between the date of the incident and the date you report it, the police can’t do much because it become extremely difficult to investigate and make an objective decision. If there the parties were physically agreesive

I do not assume to know the situation or circumstance behind the incident but outburst of violence and uncontrollable anger is a symptom of something else: ie depression, substance addiction, etc. Here are some questions that you need to ask yourself if you are an adult:

A. Has your father been physically aggressive in the past?
a. If yes, has it gotten worst or are they occasional incidents.
i. If it has gotten worst, there are things in his life that you cannot change and he is the only one that can change his behavior. His aggressive behavior could be the expression of an “internal conflict.”
ii. If occasional incidents, what are some “series of events” that lead up the incidents of physically aggression. Was there a verbal altercation? What was it about? Who showed aggressive behaviors/signs: clenched fists, slamming or pounding of the table, acts of intimidation. It is important to understand what trigger these outbursts. Can he have verbal altercation without getting aggressive?
b. If not, when did it start occurring? Did his behavior change during your mother’s illness and subsequent death from cancer? Is he drinking alcohol? How has and what has he done to cope with the passing of your mother? Has your mother’s illness caused financial problems?
B. What was the physical altercation about? Why did he feel compelled to ask your brother to apologize? What did your brother say or do? How did the series of events happen? It will be easier to write it down as you go. What are the “roles” that the parties played? Think of this like a play, determine the plot, the events that lead up to the climatic point, and if there was any resolution or is the audience left hanging? I would assume it is the latter since you are posting.

Hopefully, these questions will help you guide your decision on how you are going to address the situation and future incidents.

Disclaimer: this posting should not be taken as legal, medical or psychological advice and is not meant as such. Please consult with the appropriate professionals for their advice.