How do people separate sex and love? I just can't comprehend it!

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• I know what you mean, that some people have sex with strangers which obviously would not equal love. I just could never do it. My ex slept with me when he had in his mind that he was "single." He expressed this later on. I felt so used.

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  by Anonymous on October 31st, 2009

• I know that must hurt, and I agree with you that just sleeping with whomever is empty and sad. I would never do that. And I'm sorry that happened to you, Kokoro.

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  by Vaporeongirl on November 1st, 2009

• How long did you know your X-boyfriend before you slept with him? If you were dating and sleeping together, then why did he think he was single.

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  by Vaporeongirl on November 1st, 2009

• We had been dating for more than a year. When I saw he put "single" on his Facebook he said he was serious about it being over when we had the last argument. I thought we were still together. What upset me is that he said he wanted me to stay living with him while he was "single" and he even slept with me during this time.

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  by Anonymous on November 1st, 2009

• What a SOB! Tell me this wasn't the guy you lost your virginity to! Men are ALL JERKS; that is what I've found.

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  by Vaporeongirl on November 1st, 2009

• Yes, it was. :( I thought he was different, but I was wrong.

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  by Anonymous on November 2nd, 2009

• Poor thing....a lot of girls get burned by their 1st.

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  by Vaporeongirl on November 2nd, 2009

Comments

• Do you really believe that, Randy?

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  by Spirit of the Nomad on November 2nd, 2009

• Of course I do, Spirit. I wasn't joking when I wrote it.
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  If you haven't seen it to be true, just live a few more years and observe peoples' interaction.
  '
  Let's also see what others say in response to my answer, ok?

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  by Randy D on November 2nd, 2009

• I do see it, I just had hoped it was the cynic in me that observed it and not how relationships actually worked.

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  by Spirit of the Nomad on November 2nd, 2009

• You think that because you see the pathetic parts of humanity that this is true in a generalized statement? all of your posts I've read so far are biased..you should go get friends that don't stand for this sexist crap and try and be a light to the world, not an enabler. I know you know just as well as I do that just because people do it doesn't make it true for all, and doesn't make it right.

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  by have mercy love :( forgive me. on November 3rd, 2009

• To whom is your comment directed, Nightrush?

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  by Randy D on November 3rd, 2009

• Not really anyone in general. the thing is I'm trying to emphasize that just because general american humanity does it doesn't mean thats how it really is in good people and in the whole populus.

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  by have mercy love :( forgive me. on November 3rd, 2009

• though on that note, you saying "men/women" do anything isn't true and can't be, as thats saying all are the same and are driven by that. Its just not true. I hate most women, and I hate that women see this and actually agree with it.

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  by have mercy love :( forgive me. on November 3rd, 2009

• I'm confused, Nightrush. Who said " "men/women" can do anything . . . "?
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  I certainly didn't.
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  Next, my original response to Spirit's question was a generality. There's no way I can either know or chronicle the experience of every person alive or every person who's ever lived, so I can only speak in generalities.
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  Lastly, isn't "hate" a pretty strong word? If you hate that women see "this" (a lot has been said here, and you didn't specify what you meant by "this") and actually agree with it, do you hate it because it's true, or because you disbelieve it to be true?

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  by Randy D on November 3rd, 2009

• firstly, I didn't say >can< do anything. I said it is wrong to think that >"Men"< or >"women"< in any possible generalized statement will never and can never be true. It may be common, but still. You acknowledged this on your own in response to spirit, so why say it? It just doesn't help the problem of it.
  
  and Hate is indeed a strong word, however I have strong feelings against people listening to generalizations and thinking its ok. Its not.

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  by have mercy love :( forgive me. on November 4th, 2009

• Ok.

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  by Randy D on November 4th, 2009

Comments

• I suppose so, but I personally could never have sex with someone I didn't love or wasn't considered my boyfriend.

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  by Anonymous on October 29th, 2009

Comments

Comments

• Bullshit, Nightsrush. I know my ex boyfriend too, and now more than ever. I was trying to be different, but the problem was - so was my ex. Apparently instead of being a lover, he was single instead. You keep telling yourself that I'm the one who is making the wrong decisions or having the wrong feelings but no. It's all very clear to me now in the past week. Either he's changed or I just didn't know he was this kind of person and now his true colors show.

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  by Anonymous on November 3rd, 2009

• Or you just don't want to fix it, and you don't want to allow yourself to actually try. You have not talked to him, so you are lying when you say you are trying/tried to fix it. You don't know anything about him, and the sooner you try to listen instead of telling yourself what you don't know the better you will feel. Stop being bitter and wake up. Other people are hurt too you know, or is that something beneath you?

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  by have mercy love :( forgive me. on November 3rd, 2009

• I'm done trying. Trying has only brought me pain. I already said I put my foot down when my partner decides that he wants to be single and skank around.

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  by Anonymous on November 3rd, 2009

• He didn't say that though, thats the thing you need to stop.
  You< are doing this. You are pushing me and him away, please just get yourself under control and at least talk in a reasonable manner. "I'm done trying" is just a quitter, selfish and disappointing attitude. I'm pretty sure since he still tries to talk to you that he's not a quitter, so how do you expect things to actually get better if youre the one not trying???

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  by have mercy love :( forgive me. on November 3rd, 2009

• I don't trust him anymore. All he's been saying is, "You you you! You're not this, you're not that," when he shows no signs of taking responsibility for the things he's said or done.

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  by Anonymous on November 3rd, 2009

• Did you ask him to do so? I'm pretty sure he would. I do trust you, so it may not be fair but considering you said at one point you >loved< him you should give the benefit of the doubt. I know I've done stupid things, but it is painful to think that you would toss the entire thing for a small trust-related issue.

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  by have mercy love :( forgive me. on November 3rd, 2009

• I shouldn't have to ask. It's a mature and adult thing to take responsibility for your actions and say so. It's not SMALL. To you maybe, but it's serious to me.

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  by Anonymous on November 3rd, 2009

• Seriousness has nothing to do with how small it is! everything in our relationship was serious, big or small, but to toss it aside is not worth it when you realize nothing is too big!!!!

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  by have mercy love :( forgive me. on November 3rd, 2009

• I have deal breakers. I will refuse to be with someone who talks to me the way that you have, going to be single and not feel guilty about looking. What a childish reaction/solution to a problem.

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  by Anonymous on November 3rd, 2009

• You think that it is the looking that is the problem, which is the problem. Its the pressure and stereotypes and insecurities you pool on me. thats all.

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  by have mercy love :( forgive me. on November 3rd, 2009

• I think they're both problems, and that you should not have reacted the way you did.

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  by Anonymous on November 3rd, 2009