Are guys who post pics of themself with no shirt for an online dating site shady (this guy is 39)?He kissed me on mouth first date and is touchy. He said I am straightlaced and tried to french me 2nd date. I didn't let him.

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• Yup, if not for anything else, just to fill his ego and you know it's big cause he's posing with his shirt off like, "Oooooh, look at me, you want this I know you do." Whatever!!! That's probably what he meant by jives between you. You didn't get all horny and jump his bones. Yes, he's just giving it one more shot at sex. If that's what you want then I'm sure that's all he'll want as well.

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  by Popcorn on September 20th, 2010

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• I'm 32 but I think since I met him on the internet I would say it is more forward. I would do a kiss on cheek first and also he was trying to make out with me when I wasn't really giving him signs in the bar this time. He rubbed my back on first date and put his hand on my leg. 2nd date he held hands quite a bit in the bar ad also was rubbing my leg. He said I seemed soft-spoken so he was doing this with very little signs from me.

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  by Anonymous on October 28th, 2009

• I'm 32 but since i met him on the internet - i would say a kiss on cheek seems about right for first date. He is generally touchy - first date rubbing my back and hand on leg. 2nd date - rubbing leg and holding my hand and then trying to french me in the bar. I am holding back so he is doing it kind of without signs. I am not prudish when I feel comfortable.

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  by Anonymous on October 28th, 2009

• I totally understand the problem in him kissing you when you don't like it. But the fact that it is the first or second date seems like nothing wrong in itself.

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  by OZe on October 28th, 2009

• He sent me this email today: "It was nice getting together again and i feel we have a lot in common. but i'm wondering if we are both a bit too much on the mellow side - whether it jives between us. i would like to give it more of a chance. let me know what you think." I'm not sure about him honestly. . .and he is quite touchy. Does it seem that he only wants sex?

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  by Anonymous on October 28th, 2009

• Yes, I think you are right.

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  by OZe on October 28th, 2009

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• he sent me a msg today which said this:was nice getting together again and i feel we have a lot in common. but i'm wondering if we are both a bit too much on the mellow side - whether it jives between us. i would like to give it more of a chance. let me know what you think.
  
  Should I be direct back? At least he noticed I am holding back and he is opposite!

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  by Anonymous on October 28th, 2009

• YOU tell him what YOU feel. He shouldn't be telling you anything about yourself. That is for YOU to feel. If you are "straightlaced", then remain so. Don't allow HIM to make you anything you don't want to be.
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  Now, if you WANT to move forward, and kiss him back (and more), HOW and how much is up to you, too. Again, do NOT allow him to make you go further than you wish, and you may want to decide before you see him again.
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  Remember that just as in real life, some guys on those sites are only there to get into girls' pants. YOU have to decide if you want him there or not.

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  by BigDaddyBS on October 28th, 2009

• What's funny - is nobody would describe me as mellow! So what you wrote hit home - he is telling me that but it isn't even me. . .i.e. mellow.
  
  I'm not straigh-laced at all when I'm comfortable - I want to avoid a man who only wants sex. I also very much agree that I would need to decide in advance if I plan to see him again.
  
  From what I wrote - does it sound like he just wants sex?

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  by Anonymous on October 28th, 2009

• To me, it sounds like he wants it a lot faster than you do. I don't know why so many people seem to think dating sites are all "Adult Friend Finder" or "Friends with Benefits" sites. DATING sites are to meet like-minded people. And yet, there are those (male and female) who will jump into bed on the first or second date, without a lot of emails, IMs, and phone conversations.
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  Again, it's hard to tell if he's a "horn dog" or "desperate" or "just feeling you out". What I mean about deciding beforehand, was that you should decide how far you are willing to let it go each time, before you go out, and try to stick to it. In the "heat of the moment", you may want to go further, but if you REALLY didn't, how would you feel later?
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  Remember guys have been convincing/manipulating girls into going further than they ever wanted for centuries. And he should REALLY be more patient if he wants a true relationship. Remember that. ;-)

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  by BigDaddyBS on October 28th, 2009