- NEW!
The fact that you're asking the question, and recognizing how confusing it is, is very good news. You're probably well ahead of most of your peers.
The answer changes as you get older... in fact, the answer keeps changing throughout your life, you never actually get the "final" answer. But when you're young, there are particular answers that are appropriate to your age -- such as "avoid pretending to be someone else".
It's not easy to answer "who am I?", but it's pretty easy to answer "who am I not?"... i.e. if you find yourself trying to be like somebody else, you can bet that's the wrong turn, and you can cut it out. What's left is "being yourself", at least that's part of it. Since teens are almost legendary for trying to be someone they're not, this is a really good place to go to work on the problem.
Another part of this is "tell the truth to yourself, even if you don't tell anybody else". So know what shame is, know what fear is, know what disappointment and grief and anxiety are, and recognize them when you're having those feelings. A big area of phoniness for humans is not being able to admit to 'negative' emotions. Hey, we're all human. Sometimes we do things we're ashamed of later, sometimes we feel guilty, sometimes we feel insecure. If you can just acknowledge those things without it being a big deal, that goes a long way toward "being yourself".
So earlier I said there's no 'final' answer -- the target keeps moving, if you will, as you get older. But it isn't just a random bunch of targets, they are all related to one another. A metaphor is "boxes within boxes within boxes". When you're young, you work hard to be yourself and you manage to break out of a "box" -- a prison -- that came from being confused or pretending. That gives you some freedom, but sooner or later you realize that you're still in a box, but it's a bigger one than the last one. Each time you have to solve a new puzzle to get free, and that goes on forever.
That's why there's no final answer.
by philosopher-saint on November 22nd, 2009
I know *exactly* how you feel, Krista!
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I'm frickin' 55 years old and *still* don't know what I wanna be when I grow up!
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If you find out, lemme know?
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;-)
by king98 on November 22nd, 2009
to be yourself you have to have your own brain. if you with people and they ask your guys' opinion, if ur bff chooses 2 and you like 1 then say one. it also depends on emotions. if you want to jump around then do it. if someone says to polish their shoes say what you want. all you have to do is basicly speak ur mind and do thing your way.
by L. Taylor on November 1st, 2009
What ever you feel and act that is natural to you is being yourself.
by DaddysGLB on November 1st, 2009
Hun, being yourself comes naturally. When you try to be something, it's not you. I have to tell my 11yr old all the time to stop emulating (pretending to be, or acting like) the show's he see's on tv (drake & josh & the twin boys)
You are you, and as you grow older, you will begin to not only understand who you are, but you will appreciate your uniqueness.
That said, there are MANY MANY adults, that could ask this same question about themselves... so many don't know who they are. Don't worry!! ;)
by CaptainHarley adores his life penguin on October 28th, 2009
Understanding comes after you have more life experience under your belt. Try different things. Meet different people. Explore, study, learn. The "real you" will begin to emerge.
by barbiedoll on November 30th, 2009
Being yourself is easy and if you have trouble finding who you are ask yourself these questions: What do you like to do? What kind of people do you like to hang out with? Or if that doesn't work go to a survey website for finding friends and if nothing works DON'T WORRY you will find yourself later on in your life
good luck!
by jerryperris on November 22nd, 2009
------------------- it took me years till i was about 30yo before i learn about my self
your the only one that know every thing you have did in your life now that we know that all you have to do is be trueful with your self the good and bad and know that the past but know about all yout lies and the true about every thing in your life and dont ever lie to yourself or try to make up reason why you did things
did you under stand this im a bad speller
but do you get the point im saying
and if you dont have any kids or wife put yourself first most of the time
but if you have a kids alway put them first because they learn from you so tell them the true as much as you can
and well your wife you cant come first all the time with her so dont try it
by SoulFire on November 22nd, 2009
I find if you are true to what you want to do and tell others your opinions you are being you. If you don't just follow along with the crowd.
I find it takes time to figure out who your really are and what you want. It wasn't until I was about 20 that I knew what I wanted out of life and how to voice my personal opinions.
It wasn't until 28 that I really came into my own.
And career wise, my mom still doesn't know what she wants to be when she grows up and she is 58.
So you have lots of time to figure yourself out.
by Symbeline on November 1st, 2009
Fuck what everyone says, for one-including me.
by SABOTEUR on November 1st, 2009
Sounds like you have a good start already.
The key to
"being yourself"
is having no concern
of who you are.
(You can't figure it out through "thinking" anyway.)
Acceptance
of yourself
is the only thing required.
by Gene H on November 22nd, 2009
Well, Krista, I had a life in vain. I live alone and have for a long time. No family. Couple of friends. It's easy to be myself. You should hope your stay confused a long time, friend. It means you're happy.
by Yours Truly on November 22nd, 2009
Say what you mean and mean what you say. Stand up for what you believe in, even if it means standing alone. Be happy ~ its your life, live it the way you want to, not how anyone else wants you too.
"Never mind searching for who you are. Search for the person you aspire to be."
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."
by Anonymous on November 22nd, 2009
I know exactly what you mean. People tell me to be myself all the time and I come out in all different ways when I try. I don't understand it tbh. I know I'm sarcastic and generally a good guy... that's about it. Is that who I am? o.O
by Sharona Life is a Tale Told by an Idiot on November 22nd, 2009
Yes you do.
by ♫ρσκєя ƒαcє♫ on February 9th, 2010
One you should know yourself because that is an Important thing. Ask yourself Questions who am I?? Well who do you think you are? Are you a nice person who gets along with people easily or are you that type of person who can't get along with people. What do you want to be when you grow up, a doctor, Lawer, etc. Do you care for people?? Well If you do a doctor is the right place for you. Think to yourself things like that and sooner or later you will find yourself. I had to find myself too at one point. I found out I am a strong person who is trying to be better then what my family was. I also found out I can do anything I put my mind to. So with that said good luck =]
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Comments
Loved it, Hasnt; would read again :D
by Garrum on November 1st, 2009
How nice, Garrum! :)
by HasntBeen on November 1st, 2009