I'm divorcing my very abusive husband of 21 years. The abuse has been physical, at times, foremost verbal and emotional. I am damaged, isolated, confused and very lonely. We are going through Legal Mediation process. How do I stand up to him? I fear him

Counseling would be the best place to look for answers. If you do wish to stand up to him, never do it alone, always do it with someone, your lawyer, your best friend. I really don't know how to properly answer this question. I know in my area there are women's shelters that help women who have left an abusive relationship. If you have one you maybe able to find friends there who will understand what you have gone through. They may also have advice on how to proceed with care with your ex.

You poor thing. I'm glad you are finally getting out. Be weary though, abusers are usually at their worst when their s/o leaves because they feel they have lost control. I hope that he hasn't led you to believe as I was, that you have nobody in the world who cares for you. Get a lawyer to do the communicating for you,if you can't afford one contact your county for assistance.

I guess what strikes me most is that you aren't incensed! Why aren't you angry? Why aren't you madder than hell? Once you find your anger, you will never be afraid of him again. In fact, he'd better run. FAST. Go to therapy. Find your strength. +5

Well good for you! Good luck with everything.

Get the police involved!!

stop being a victim and celebrate your divorce. my wife was financial, emotionaly and borderlined physicaly abusive. she destroyed my financial stability to the point that we lived with her family. cybercheated running away with #3. she is now out of my life and rather than cry about how much she hurt me and hide from other women, celebrating her being unable to harm me any more and looking for a woman to treat me almost as well as I treated her. you must life your life to the fullest, fix the problems and enjoy what good you have.

you dont have to stand up to him everyone of your anwsers are right .you have the law and lawyers on your side.You had the strength to leave and good on you ,use that strength and take one step at a time.Dont try to do twenty things at once,if you spread yourself to fine ,thats when you will start to make mistakes and give him the upper hand over you.Well done you have stood up for yourself and should be very proud that you took these steps,this process will be the hardest thing emotionally and mentally but with each step you take you wont feel so damaged,isolated or confused.you will feel empowered proud and very relieved.Just keep saying to yourself he is a bully and a coward and not worthy of you.Time is the biggest healer and you will heal.There will be alot of women out there cheering you on and hopefully find the strength to do the same.Stay strong ,dont give him an inch and dont give in.I did it and am so pleased i did,the whole process was horrifying and there were times i wanted to give in,but i found that strength to carry on and pleased i did.I dont look back now but forward,and so will you