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by .Honey. on March 25th, 2007

.Honey.

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Has anyone had a threesome in their relationship, and did it affect you both and are you still together. Do you think if you bring another person into it, even for just one time, does it destroy what you have, or can it bring you closer together?

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Answers. 21 helpful answers below.

  • by Tarica on March 21st, 2008

    Tarica

    My wife was a virgin wen I married her. I had numerous sexual relationships before we got married. I caught her flirting with a male colleague at work, and we discussed what the problem was. I boiled it down to her curiosity about being with another man.

    Eventaully she agreed to have a bit of fun with a close friend of ours. It started off with them constantly chatting online for about two months. Very erotic chat. She would let me read some of the conversations and they were extreme.

    Eventually one night he came over to our place for drinks, and things got sexual. This happened once or twice again.

    One night I read an sms from her to him where she had palyed him a song, a very romantic song. I asked her if things were ok, was everything still in perspective, that it was just a it of fun and nothing more. She assured me it was all ok. I also asked the other guy if things were going wrong in terms of there being more to their relationship. He sensed a problem, and never ever spoke to either of us again.

    For the next 18 months my wife was not interested in anything: not in our marriage, not in our children, not in life in general. Whenever I tried to talk to her about it, she would become aggressive and closed up totally.

    On one occasion I took her to a local pub where he hangs out, just so that he might be nice to her and not ignore her. She wore the sexiest lingerie (I hadn't even seen it before), and he absolutely ignored her. When we got home I told myself I would pamper her and make her feel special. She got undressed, put on some very unattractive pyjamas and rolled over and went to sleep, very depressed.

    Whenever we spoke about it after that, she blamed me and said it was my fault. I felt very guilty about what had happened. After 2,5 years, my wife and this other guy then began speaking again, and chatting online. It again became very intense, and I was left out a lot of their conversations, but I was ok with that because I saw aspark in her eyes that I hadn't seen for over two years.

    I met up with this guy one evening for drinks, and he told me that they had chatted online for most of the day. He told me that her greatest fantasy was for her to be sleeping and for him to climb through her bedroom window and get into bed with her.

    He asked if she was at home, and I said yes, and said he wanted to fulfill that fantasy for her. I went to my office, and he went to my house and did what they had discussed all day.

    When I arrived home, thay had finished with whatever they were doing. He immediately left, even after I offered him a drink. My wife then took me to the bedroom and explained that she was on her period so nothing happened between them excpet that she had given him a blowjob, and he came on her breasts.

    She assues me that they did not have intercourse.

    After this we never ever saw him again, and he disappeared.

    My wife then started going into adult sex chat rooms. She got involved with many men online, and had cam sex with a lot of them. This I did not know about, I had a feeling that she was very distant and checked her computer. That was when I discovered all these guys. She said they are only friends, all 42 of them, but there was not one single "female" friend on her list. Some of the recorded conversations were extremely sexually deviant. And she told some of these guys that she loves them. When I asked her about this, she simply said its fantasy and she only loves me.

    I am totally mind-fucked about all of this. It has been an emotional rollercoaster. I never understood what my wife wanted, and I can now only assume that she has experienced what she is missing out there, and she can not go without it.

    If you are happy in your marriage or relationship, the DON'T DO IT!!! It can create a nightmare for you and for your children.

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  • by Disko Fari on February 3rd, 2008

    Disko Fari

    well i had an ex boyfriend and we had a three some with my best friend but afterwards i was really jelous so i cheated on him and yeah it was pretty shitty.. because we broke up couple months later

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  • by tmjent on September 19th, 2007

    tmjent

    My wife and I did once prior to getting married. We where living and working together and my wife is bi but not activly searching for another female. It created no problems but did fire up our sex life for awhile as a result. We haven't again yet but do occasionally talk about it and roll play a bit. I have a friend married and they have as well. Thier rule is not without the other one involved. My wife's sister states her marriage ended as a result of complications due to her husband desiring it too often. I think alot of communication, trust, and both parties should have a true desire and comfortable with thier partner before even considering it. It can be enjoyable as well as distructive all depends on comfort respect and trust which is earned threw honesty. It will not be the one thing that will advance your relationship but can add spark and bring you closer but can obviously split you horribly.

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  • by PrettyPirate on August 30th, 2007

    PrettyPirate

    Yes, recently.

    It was something my partner and I had both been curious about and was with someone - another female - that we both know and trust. It was a great experience. It hasn't changed or affected our relationship in any way, other than that we both experienced something different, together.

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  • by xmaggie18 on August 30th, 2007

    xmaggie18

    Nope. Probably never will.
    I would have a 3 sum with another guy but my boyfriend doesn't want to..
    Lameeeeeeee.
    :D

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  • by JUSTNORMAL on March 25th, 2007

    JUSTNORMAL

    No, never have nor would I consider it. It is a well known fact that even one 3 some can ruin a perfectly happy relationship or marriage. I feel it people want to sleep with others, they have no right getting married or seriously involved with another.

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  • by krayzeegirl on May 8th, 2008

    krayzeegirl

    My man and I do it weekly and we are very happy together.

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  • by Anonymous on September 2nd, 2009

    Anonymous

    I have consider doing it with my husband of two years now.A good bit b4 My husband and I got together I had another person I was sexually active with. We didnt have intercourse but I did give him oral and we did touch a lot. When I met my husband he had never ever done lude acts with another woman. So When he and I got together I felt terribly guilty that I took his "pure" virginity and and he got a sloppy second :/. I decided maybe a threesome would make things better help me feel like I'm repaying for my acts that I've done in the past.We have already found another woman(a friend) and now we plan on doing it soon. My husband has gotten really close to her and I am starting to feel the jealousy kicking in. Ive also started to have nightmares that he'll run off with her...but i still want to do it because of repayment and he also wants it really badly...My advice, if you are doing it for my reasons..then play it out slowly see how you feel, and try to find a way out of it if you really don't like the idea. If you in it for the fun and the heat, I dont think you and your lover will have problems as long as there is tons and tons of communication. Be sure to let them understand the boundaries and what you want and need. BE VERY VERY CAREFUL because a threesome is like a egg and u can never uncrack an egg, one its cracked you cant go back. Threesome will have a lot of emotional effects afterwards and may cause problems in the relationship. Me on the other hand, I dont know what Im going to do, I really dont know if i want it or not and I want to be able to pay him back, im just hoping something wrong happens b4 it goes on....

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  • by Anonymous on September 24th, 2009

    Anonymous

    I was the other guy in a threesome a long time ago. The couple seemed to be ok with it, as it fulfilled both of their fantasies and needs. It's what you want to make of it. I don't think that one time, just for the experience(good,bad or indifferent)is a bad thing. You have to establish this fact before venturing into unknown territory. If you realized you made a mistake, you can get past it and never do it again.

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  • by leoleo on January 30th, 2008

    leoleo

    Don't do it if you're in love. It will ruin how you feel about him. especially if you only are doing it for him. ive had 3 somes before and everything was fine, but i wasnt in love with them. My man im with now i am in love with. he would always say that he wants to see me with a woman. so i gave him a 3 some even though i only did it because he wanted it and now i am confused about how i feel about our relationship.

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  • by My Favourite Life on January 17th, 2008

    My Favourite Life

    Anything can happen. I met my current wife (of 12 years) through a threesome. The woman I had been dating was big into swinging because she thought it would keep me around. It worked for over a year...until I met my wife.

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  • by Wickels on August 21st, 2007

    Wickels

    My husband and I have had a few threesomes before we got married. Obviously, it did not destroy what we have or we would not have made it this far. As a married couple we are even closer that I ever thought possible, and enjoy doing new things, including the occasional third (or fourth) partner into the mix.

    It always involves lots of discussion between every party involved. Sometimes that discussion leads to the conclusion that a sexual relationship between the parties should not occour. I would much rather talk about doing things, find it not to be a good fit, and not get any 'action', than run into it pants down and have fun while giving up the closeness my husband and I share, upon reflecting on the situation.

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  • by Lippycow on August 30th, 2007

    Lippycow

    No if we did it would end in divorce im not the sharing type.

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  • by NautiRogue on November 20th, 2010

    NautiRogue

    Yes, we've had many threesomes and some foursomes. My GF and I have found that swinging has been a great way to strengthen our relationship. We discuss everything and there are no secrets.

    Sex between the two of us is emotional and special. We make love to each other. Sex between us and others is just physical. Sex with others is fun, but it's just sex. As long as you can establish a completely open line of communication between each other and there's a very firm bond of trust between you, what's the likelihood of one of you cheating? If you can turn to your SO and say, "I've been getting to know this person, and I want to f**k him/her," and it's all out on the table between the two of you, then it's not cheating.

    We believe that swinging has made our relationship much stronger. It's not for everyone because the requirements of communication and trust are so important, but if you can establish that rock-solid foundation in your relationship, then swinging can add a whole new basis of security, variety, and excitement to your commitment to each other!

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  • by madelynn2651 on May 4th, 2010

    madelynn2651

    My fiance and I recently had our 3rd threesome and the next day i was pissed. The first 2 were okay It didn't bother me, but this last one did. Yes I felt that he paid more attention to her. I don't know if it's because she was so into it and the other ones were kinda lame, I really don't know. I brought it up yesterday and he reasured me that he loves me and only me, and all he was doing is what I wanted him to do. You see all of these were my idea not his. So i owened up to it and told him my part in it. Things are great now, and the whole threesome thing will NEVER happen again believe that!

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  • by Ender is back.. And slightly confused. on August 21st, 2007

    Ender is back.. And slightly confused.

    I have had several threesomes. They were all with one girl, whom I was with for three and a half years.

    The first few experiences were great, because the woman involved was not attached to other of us, and we were not attached to her.

    However, the last woman that we got involved with turned horrible and destroyed the relationship, because of some horrible decisions on my part, and lack of communication...

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  • by tiberseptim on August 30th, 2007

    tiberseptim

    No. Have considered it, though.

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  • by anonymous on August 30th, 2007

    anonymous

    Yes. I wasn't in a relationship at the time, I joined in with another couple. As far as I know it didn't affect their relationship, nor did it affect their relationship with me. We're all still friends.

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  • by Liangkozi on August 30th, 2007

    Liangkozi

    Eeeerr...Never!

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  • by buxtonite ..slowly losing my mind on August 30th, 2007

    buxtonite ..slowly losing my mind

    my lady and my self have been swinging for many years ...3 somes , 4somes , and its been fantasic and why ? because we never ever get or have gotten jealous ...never ...our hearts and souls belong to each other ...just our naughty bits belong to whom ever we are having fun with

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  • by Tigger3408 on December 14th, 2009

    Tigger3408

    at the moment it's fun it's afterwards that'll kill ya.i've had threesomes with different partners i've had and it always made me happy to see them happy..them getting pleasure.sex is supposed to be fun,not a life sentence with someone.you just have to know that its just sex,love is between the two of you,and it's eachother you're going to be with at the end of the night.sex is sex,and love is love.you'll make it what you want it to be.

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