You're a woman in her late 20's. You have just gotten engaged. Your fiance knows you were sexually active before you met him. Does he have a right to know you had an abortion in your teens?
by 
kybear
ANSWERS: 15
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He does not need to know you had an abortion. It is only your business and telling your fiance about an abortion will change nothing in the relationship. I would keep it to myself. What matters is the present and your relationship as it is right now. Digging in the past, unnecessarily, cannot bring anything good.
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Yes I believe he does. That is definitely something I would want to know before dedicating my life to this woman.
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Can I be honest? Would be none of his business, although I think if you got pregnate at some point, it should be shared w the obgyn. What would make you want to share that story?
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The fact that you're asking this makes me think that you think he probably should know. If he's a pro-lifer, he needs to know.
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I don't think he has a "right" to know, but I certainly think that is something you should share with him. That is an awful burden to carry into a marriage.
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Maybe not a right to know, but rather a need to know. Yes, tell him everything and leave nothing out. I say this for this reason: My neighbor friend was a stripper. she became engaged to this man and asked me if i should tell him of her past, before they married. I told her yes. but, she did not. and, just as i predicted, about two years later, both her and her husband ran into an old stripper customer. the customer naturally assumed she was still stipping and asked her some very provocative questions. needles to say, all hell broke loose and they divorced. You should not keep this a secret. i gurantee that someone, somewhere will tell your new husband and the results may not be good. Keep no secrets. if this breaks your engagement, at least you told the truth upfront and did not keep this from him behind his back.
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only if you want to tell him. the past is the past and he isnt automatically entitled to every detail of it
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I would not say he has a "right" but he is engaged to you. that means accepting what you might feel is something you are not proud of {thats what it sounds like by your question I would think since you are going to marry him it might be something you would want to share.
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I think he does. It is called honesty in marriage. Imagine if he found out later through an unwitting friend or family member.
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I don't feel he has "a right" to know. It was a personal decision and did not involve him. I think it is entirely up to you if you wish to share that part of your life and you should not feel bad or guilty keeping a teenage decision, particularly one you had the right to make, to yourself.
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If I were the woman who just got engaged, I would tell my husband. Even if I was ashamed of the fact that I did it. He is my husband and I would want him to know everything about me.
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If you want the marriage to last don't keep secretes. If you plan on getting divorced and taking his earning through the court system then do whatever gets you there faster.
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I've never had an abortion, so I can't really put myself in that perspective, when considering the emotional magnitude it must have on someone. Be that as it may, I don't think he has a "right" to know. He probably should, if relationships work as the majority define them, but eh. I probably would tell him though, because if it was someone I loved, it's probably something I would want to share. But people, no matter how much in love they are, have the right to their privacy, and they have the right to do with it what they will. I suppose if I was going out with someone totally against it, they might view it as I would if I learned that they raped someone in the past. So if I loved him, I could only hope that, despite the differences, he would still keep loving me. If not, well that's life. But no. No right.
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It depends on how you define "right." Legally, he has the right to know nothing. Ethically, he has the right to know if it would matter to him. If he's very pro abortion rights, then he might not care one way or the other. If he's a family oriented person, he would probably feel that he does have a right to know.
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I think it better he know exactly who he is marrying from you before he find out some other way through someone else. For some people abortion is simply a black and white issue. Right or wrong and for some it is only right or wrong depending on the reason. He should also know because for some of the people who have abortions there is an emotional scar left behind and he should know a head of time if this is the case or not.
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