ANSWERS: 7
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  • They can try to create a fight, but you can control your response. Do not raise your voice and refuse to get involved in the fight. If he/she persists, just say, "Given your emotional state, now is not the right time to discuss this issue. We'll address it later when you can be calm and rational."
  • Try coming to an agreement before you start the conversation that it will not be a fight. Or perhaps go to different rooms and do it via a chat where you get to see what you are saying before you send it. Ask close friends to come over while you talk it through, perhaps even as a mediator. That said I am assuming you are a girl. There are several statements that will put people on the defencive immediately. For me the words 'we need to talk' automatically means switch to fight mode. There are others but you get the point. Last but not least a threat is a bad move (i.e. I'll leave unless you) especially if you are not going to follow through. Threats are better kept internal and then used for surprise attacks for best effect. And you better be willing to follow through or it is just hollow and will end up costing you so power. Good luck... I've been through this myself. And be careful it is often easier to blame somebody else, don't foget to also look within.
  • They fight to stop you from talk things out, he is trying to force you away with his anger, then he wont have to deal with it, if you stay calm, and say we are going to discuss this, we can do while you yell and scream or we can try to talk like adults do, it doesnt matter to me, but you are going to deal with this.
  • If both sides find it necessary to 'always' be right and have the last word, then it's a cocktail ready to blow! At the beginning of such a discussion you should try and find something both of you can agree with, rather than focussing on the points you disagree on. Then with a little compromise from both sides it will turn into a problem solving session as opposed to a shouting match.
  • Break-up. 'Healthy' communication is the key to any successful relationship. If you can't communicate, you won't last long.
  • Wow I&H. Based on your questions you've posted, it seems to me that your relationship is in trouble. If she can't respect your boundaries (which are NOT controlling boundaries), then you have a problem. A relationship consits of mutual respect and loyalty for each other. If she is still taking guys' numbers and falling for their lines, even after she knows it bothers you, then she's not acting like she should be in a relationship. The fact that she's actually fighting with you about it is a HUGE red flag, my friend! I'm speaking from experience here. It will only be a matter of time before this issue snow-balls right under your nose. Before long you'll feel like someone knocked the wind out of you. Again I reiterate, if she can't respect your request to not take other guys' numbers, then she's not being loyal to you. I'm sorry for being so negative! Good luck! +++
  • It takes 2 to fight. Don't rise to the bait.

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